I was in a similar situation. I started dating my husband while my previous relationship had turned to friendship he put the nix on me talking to him. Maybe insecurity at the time. But it could be harmless flirting, but you do cross the line when you discuss furthering the relationship. Emails or not, those are HER and HIS thoughts. If they havent been chatting, I'd let it go. You have to trust her. I dont blame you for making her show you those dates, but the flags went up. You said you've been together awhile a lot longer and the relationship has grown, that's a good sign. But I'd be watchful of her actions with this guy. Another thing, I HATED that my husband made me choose, but because I love him, I did it. I have no regrets. Although I do miss talking to him, my future with my husband wasn't worth the idle chat to lose him.

Just be leary, watchful and hopefully theyre not chatting anymore.