I'll tell you what I told Goose.., and so many other guys.., there's a cycle.., everything makes a full-circle.., and there's a hierarchy of sorts.., starting from very low-level (primative) thinking.., and getting to more developed and mature thinking..,

People seeking:

- Sex (most men.., some women)
- Control & Power (most women)
- Respect (sadly.., just some men)

Respect is when you have control & power over someone.., but you don't exert it over them.., you afford them the chance.., to be your equal.., when the child gets upset because it genuinely feels that your demands as a parent are unfair.., and the parent turns around and says.., "oh really? you don't think that's fair? well.., don't clean your room.., or do the dishes.., or your homework.., that's fine.., it's you're life.., you're right.., but when you come back.., don't bother ringing the bell.., and don't ask me for money.., or food.., or anything.., go out and work.., find a job.., and do whatever you want big guy".., that's dumb parenting.., it's disrespecting the child.., obviously the child can't go out and find a job that gives the same level of income to support itself.., obviously it needs a parent.., this is an obvious reality.., this is an obvious control & power the parent holds over the child.., not just financial.., but physical.., etc.., to exert this power however.., is disrespectful.., and the person who is best fit to feel the feeling of disrespect.., is the child.., powerless.., and disrespected..

The child however has no choice.., it was born.., in a weaker position.., where the parents have power over it.., YOU are not.., you choose what you want to do.., and others don't have any control or power over you unless you give it to them.., let me say that one more time.., it's important.., OTHERS DON'T HAVE ANY CONTROL OR POWER OVER YOU UNLESS YOU GIVE IT TO THEM!

Think about that.., you already know this.., this isn't news to you.., but what most guys do.., is use this truth.., to create a primative and tribal display of mutual respect for someone they're interacting with.. You see this all the time.., when someone comes into the room.., you stop what you're doing.., stand up.., and say hello.., when the bill comes.., you offer to pay for it.., etc.., All just giving control & power over.., subcommunicating.., "i'm not afraid to imply that i'm in a dependent position.., that I rely on you in some way.., becaues I know that you would never take advantage of that or use it against me".., yes.., I know.., (wtf?).., it's very subtle.., I agree.., far less subtle than.., "so.., can I get your number?".., and even less subtle.., "Julie.., look.., I really really like you.., and I just wanted to know if you feel the same way about me".., woah! nothing subtle about that..

But what it's doing.., be it in friendship.., or business.., or dating.., is putting someone up on a pedestle.., and for men.., (who follow an honor/respect system).., it seems like the natural thing to do to show someone that you respect them.., "here.., a token gesture of giving you some control & power".., it acts to form trust instantly when it's returned.., and between guys.., it's returned quickly.., but it gets interesting with women..

To women.., you're a stranger.., and thanks to the media.., you're also a sex-crazed teenage boy who only wants sex.., you're starting out with distrust..

Have you ever been at a bar.., and a guy walks up to you.., you start talking.., and he goes to get himself a beer.., and he asks you if you want anything? He just casually makes that offer.., what would you think? I'll tell you what I was thinking.., "ehh.., i'm not really that thirsty.., but that's nice of him.., really cool guy".., and I told him.., no but thanks for the offer..

Have you ever been at a bar.., and a girl walks up to you.., you start talking.., and she goes to get herself a beer.., and she asks you if you want anything? After you're done pinching yourself because you feel that you're now in the twilight-zone.., what would you think? I'll tell you what I was thinking.., "I know she likes me.., but it can't be that easy.., that was too easy.., hmm.., does she want my kidneys? maybe she's going to put GHB in my drink as she's bringing it back.., then tell me to go back to her place.., and i'll wake up in a tub full of ice the next day.., no thanks".., and I told her.., no thanks..

What do you think it feels like for a girl?

- Ugh.., how lame.., boring.., he obviously likes me.., but why? Does he really think he's getting anywhere by getting me a drink.., this is pretty disgusting and uncomfortable

- Ugh.., is he trying to get me drunk?

Best,

GrkScorp

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If you can't stop the Wind, then you can't stop the Storm.