Originally Posted by
Mishanya 
Reality check, here it is:
What happened is irreversible. You will most likely not get your wife back after this affair. Even if by some stroke of fate or shear luck she does come back to you, you won't be able to trust her the trust is permanently broken between you two. I advise reading the above a couple of times until the reality of it sinks and start planning for a better future.
Mish, you may be right, but you are putting a value judgement on this situation that only the OP understands.
Perhaps YOU couldn't forgive her affair (I couldn't either) but he may be able to given the right conditions. Marriages do survive affairs.
If there wasn't a child involved I would suggest immediate break. But there is a child & therefore I recommend counselling. A good counsellor will be important to help maintain good relations & communication even if they split.
To the OP: I know its easy to be distracted by things like sex, but you need to be thinking bigger picture right now. Counselling is really in order & don't entangle yourself further with her until some ground rules are set. Which should, at minimum, require her to break all contact with this other guy if she wants to work at a reconcilation. Don't settle for less.
Also, you have a child to think of. Consider that, if you sleep w/her, you are also sleeping with whatever this other guy has potentially given her. Are you ready for that? Don't delude yourself, it happens a lot.
Check out that site & get counselling. Get your emotions under control, best thing you can do right now for everyone. Good luck.