Thanks for the sound advice guys, I appreciate it and hear where you are coming from. I am trying to do what is best for my son, and at the moment that feels like having is mom home and for us to try and work things out. I know that it may never be the same again and it may not work but I'm finding it hard just to give up on my family over this. As I said she is visiting tonight, I have made up a separation agreement which may start to bring some closure. I will enquire about some counciling for my son and I, I have already asked my wife if she would be prepared to go too but she has declined. I'll update later on, probably for more advice!!!