Yeah, that's really true. A lot of people just DON'T have the common sense to recognize a great person and to treat that person right if they are in a relationship. I thought that common sense was 'common'. I used to assume that everyone had it... but it really isn't as 'common' as people may think.

I'm guessing that when you're talking about 'men' in general, you're talking about the ones who don't treat women right, aren't committed, only want sex, etc.? You're not specific at all when you use the word 'men'. Not all men are the same. Honestly, it really, REALLY pisses me off when I see a man mistreat his girlfriend/wife. As long as she didn't cheat on him, murder somebody, or did something else that's really immoral and out there, I don't really think he has justification to hit her. He has a right to yell at her sometimes, if she did something wrong, but seeing that in public disgusts me. Men should at least have the decency and restraint to hold back his forthcoming anger until they get home or to the car.

I see many wonderful things in my friends too. Friends who have been single for a long time, some of whom don't want a relationship again for a long time to come. I've wondered the same thing you have... not just for women, but for men, too. YES, I just said that. I know that because I'M a man and that I've experienced this myself.

You probably didn't read it, but I started a thread about wanting to become a monk a week or two ago. The truth was that I didn't really want to become a monk, but because I was so frustrated about relationships and wanted to give up altogether. No, let me change that. I still want to give up.

My answer to your question is this: First of all, whoever you talked to is right. Most people are idiots. Most people don't have that supposed 'common' sense. Most people get in a relationship and end up messing around with others, abusing their "s.o.", only wanting sex... you know, all those shallow things that show that the two don't love or even show a genuine interest in one another.

Maybe I'm a dreamer. Hell, **** the maybe. I KNOW I'm a dreamer. I'm one of those people who think that there's someone out there for everyone. It may not be one specific person, but I think there is at least someone out there. The thing I value most is real love, and what I mean by that is a love that isn't shallow. Two people that, most importantly, love each other for who the other is, not for other reasons, such as physical appearance, social status, money, etc. If you 'love' someone primarily for one of these reasons, you don't love that person. You're in love with that aspect of them... something that is something they have, but isn't essentially part of them. Sounds confusing, but I think you understand. People who respect each other and take time for each other... but DON'T get overobsessive.

I know it's coming, so I'll just say it now: I don't want to hear the idealistic bashes against me. I already know that I am too utopian, too idealistic... that's why I don't feel like I belong on this world. So save the bashes, please. I don't need to hear them, nor does anyone else. It won't change me, anyway.

To continue with my answer to your question: Secondly, maybe your friends attract the wrong guys. Maybe your friends just AREN'T attracted to these guys that they would probably want. From what I hear from you, it seems like they want men who notice the small things, have 'common' sense, who recognize the woman's good qualities... etc. This boils down to treating a woman with respect and trying to spend time with them more often. I'll admit that I don't usually notice the small things. I'll notice if you got a full-on haircut or something, but don't expect me to notice if your hair stylist took an inch and a half off. I probably wouldn't notice if you were wearing a new outfit, but I would sure as hell notice that you look stunning in it. Most men don't notice all the tiny things... but what they may notice is the effect it has on you... which is important.

Have you ever gone out with your friends, or talked with them, and seen or talked about some guy who was a gentleman? A guy who was nice, generous, caring, understanding... no, I'm not talking about those stupid muscular guys on those romance novels. I mean just a down-to-earth, easy to talk to, amiable guy. Do they ever say, "Wow, I wish I could go out with that guy", or seem attracted to him? In almost any wind, I'd highly doubt it. I don't think women are attracted to guys like this. It seems as if they are attracted to the ones who they know will treat them bad! Women seem to want to get with this guy who was badass, then miraculously change him into some sort of gentleman. PLEASE. Do you think that is going to happen? It's really hard to change a person. And if you want to change another person, it means that you aren't happy with what they currently are. If your friends ARE attracted to these nice guys... well, I don't know what to say. Maybe just wait and they'll come?

Final statement: These guys that your friend seemingly want to have? Well, they're out there. Argue it all you want. But they ARE out there. Don't say that "They are out there but they already have boyfriends", or some clever, gay quip. I've heard it way too many times, and I'm sick of it. There really are gentleman (yes, they are straight!) who pick out the good qualities about you, who are generous, caring and understanding... you know, kind of like the fairy tales, I guess? The thing that is sad is that these 'fairy tale guys' are the ones who never get the woman in the end.

Hope that helped.

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If a dream comes true... then is it still a dream?