I don't know where to start. My english is not that great, but I will try.

I seriously don't know what to do. My girl broke up with me almost half year ago. I really liked her. She was actually the first girl I ever fell in love with. I never felt this much for anyone else. Normally when a relationship ends I can move on. Offcours I will be down for a while, but not this long. This has lasted for almost half year. I think about her everyday, it makes me sad. I cry so often and can't sleep at night. Some times I don't think about her for a couple weeks, but it always comes back on my mind. I tryed to move on. I did whatever I could. I met with other girls, dated new girls, etc. But nothing made me get her out of my mind. No girl I met ment something to me or felt something to me. Everyday I ask myself how long this is going to last. It makes me crazy. I can't take it anymore. After I lost her, I started losing everything else I had. I dropped out of college. I stopped working. I stopped training. I lost my motivation and will to go on. There is nothing left for me anymore. I waited for this girl my whole life, I can't let her go. I feel so lonely and lost. Sometimes I dream of her. It's sad, back then when I dreamed of her I always saw her face. But it's been so long now. I can't recall her face in my dreams anymore, but I always know it's her. I never contacted her anymore, till last night. I just couldn't sit around anymore. I wrote her a email and told her about my feelings. She has not replied to it and she probably won't either. I knew this would happen, but I had to try. The reason she broke up with me was that she believed that I didin't understand what she felt and what she had been through her last relationship. Yes it was obviously a hell for her. And yes a lot of things I couldn't understand back then, simple because I had not been through them as personal experience. But now I understand a lot of things she said. I am going through the same thing right now. So in the end we had some arguing going around for a couple weeks and she made such drama out of it. And later started ignoring me. I called her, mailed her and text her so many times. But she kept ignoring me. In the end I even went to her house wich is not close to anywhere here. I waited 3 hours for her there and she was home, but she never opend the door. Till today I still don't understand why she treated me like that. I never did anything to her. After that I went home and we never contacted each other again. Seriously what can I do anymore. I can't go on and I can't go back. I feel worthless, my life is a hell. I am thinking to call her tomorrow and ask if she read my mail. My last hope. It's strange usually I am the one helping my friends with there relationship problems. But now I really need someone to help me, so any input is welcome.