Hmm.., I didn't realize how disconnected I was from humanity.., until I read your post.., it just all seems like a process.., a combination of emotions that is preventing you from taking the action you need to take.., but at the same time.., to you.., all these emotions and feelings are very real..

The whole thing.., the thought of her.., falls over you and surrounds you like a silk prison.., it's not made out of iron.., you have the physical power to escape.., but not the emotional power or will to step outside of it.., at least you can bang your head against the iron bars.., but everytime you try and step outside.., the silk brushes against your skin.., and it feels so good.., so painful to be trapped inside.., but too good to escape just yet.., and so.., you find yourself stuck.., in this silk prison..

It won't be long however.., until you grow bored of the feeling of silk against your skin.., until you realize that you want more.., that the pain is just too much to bear.., and you gain the emotional strength now.., to escape that prison.., and as you do that now.., and you look back at it.., you almost wonder how you could allow yourself to be trapped by the inner workings of your emotions and imagination.., a prison of the mind.., not of reality..

The language you use to capture and account for the whole event shows just how you feel about it..

"I know the best thing to do is probably cut her off completely, just try and get over it unless she calls."

So.., you clearly know what you have to do.., now.., even though you know that.., you're also aware that for some reason that doesn't make any sense to you.., you would be willing to abandon that which you know you definitely must do now.., and feel that you would be willing to accept her back into your life in a heartbeat.., and for the moment.., that may be the case.., until you start to see for yourself.., just how much it doesn't make any sense.., for you to be open to the idea.., of accepting her back into your life..

"I haven't opened up to anybody like this"

Then.., you're aware of both the solution and the problem.., but again.., you fail to act on it now.., and it's not so much the case that you don't know anyone else in your life you can open up to.., so much as it is.., that you don't want to open up to the people you already know.., or the new people you'll meet when she's no longer a part of your life now.., before you start to open up to other people.., as you've done here on the forum.., try and think about why you don't find yourself opening up more..

We all understand what's going on here.., (all.., including you).., that you have not emotionally invested in others.., and then.., one person came along.., and for some reason.., you emotionally invested in them.., and now they left.., and you have nobody else in your life you have that type of connection with.., and again.., consider the reality of things.., is it really HER you should be chasing after.., to get that connection back? Or is it a change in yourself you should be looking for.., and connection in others already around you or perhaps in your near future that you should be more interested in now?

Best,

GrkScorp

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If you can't stop the Wind, then you can't stop the Storm.