i know i shouldn't hav checked his e-mail but i knew something was goin on. i had a gut feeling and it just confirmed it really. what is quite strange is he has been on these sites checking mail ever since i have met him. what was really strange was he was planning to meet this guy about 4 months after i been with him as an official "boyfriend" but e-mailed him rite at the last minute and bottled out.
i know i deserve better... i have so much to give and want to just be loved. it seems i have to pay such a high price at the moment to get this love. i am scared shitless that if i end things that i will be lonely and have an empty life again.
at one stage i thought rite i need to end this and see whether he begs me and comes running... then i thought wel do i really want him to come running?
what was really confusing was that he e-mailed me last nite a poem saying some shit that he wrote my name in the sky but it blew away, he wrote it in the sand but it washed away so he wrote it in his heart.... forever it will stay. then we had an msn conversation and he kept sayin he loved me, he missed me etc etc. it just confuses me so much