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Old 15-05-08, 10:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TSA09 View Post
The problem is, I'm too shy to start a conversation on my own. But I'll probably ask her to sign my yearbook tomorrow; we got them yesterday.
You: Can you sign my yearbook?
Her: (signs yearbook)
You: Thanks
Her: No problem
You: ???

How does signing your yearbook lead into any conversation piece? How about something like..,

You: You didn't sign my yearbook yet (hand her your yearbook)
Her: (signs yearbook)
You: Oh! You're a girl.., (wait 1-2 seconds).., hmm.., never mind..
Her: (puzzled look on her face.., hands you yearbook back)
You: Actually.., yeah.., what the hell.., as a girl.., do you think guys have feelings?
Her: blah blah
You: You don't have to lie you know.., you can be honest..
Her: blah blah
You: Hmm.., and do you.., as a girl.., feel that guys also want to feel loved and appreciated from time to time?
Her: blah blah
You: interesting.., i'm just asking.., because I was talking about it with someone recently.., how it's always the guy who's expected to go get some $15k+ ring.., get down on his knees.., and ask the girl to marry him.., and there's no problem with that.., but we just thought.., that hey.., wait a minute.., doesn't SHE like this guy too? What is SHE buying him? What is SHE doing for him?
Her: blah blah
You: Well.., that's what one of the other girls we were talking with said.., but isn't the guy doing that too? Already? I think it's almost selfish and unfair to just have that expectation.., and think.., oh well.., he loves me.., that's nice.., i'm satisfied.., that's all that matters.., and not for a second think about how he must feel..
Her: But she's marrying him.., she just said "yes"
You: Yeah.., I know.., but he "asked".., which is HIS "yes".., a "cold" yes.., without even knowing if she would accept or not.., he just told her that he would marry her.., that's more romantic and affectionate than knowing that the other person would marry you.., and just saying "yes" to that too.., that's like you coming up to me to say "hey.., you look good today".., and then me tell you.., "ehh.., you look nice too".., it's not the same..
Her: blah blah.., blah blah.., blah blah.., (get it?)

Do you see how long this one little insignificant topic could have you talking for? It can afford you A LOT more talking time than.., "hey.., can you sign my yearbook?"

More importantly.., it's not about "just talking".., it's about "who you are".., and there's no need to "try" and convey who you are.., just know who you are.., have your own opinion about things.., and let her pick up on who you are.., through the conversation.., (hence.., why it's important to speak & talk.., people who talk more.., date more.., not because there's anything magical about talking itself.., but it's a medium by which character and personality are conveyed.., so know how to keep the conversation going.., NEVER PUSH! "so.., what music do you listen to?".., don't do that sh*t.., I cringe when I hear guys around me do this.., just have interesting and stimulating stuff to talk about.., it's really that simple)

Additionally.., ball-bust.., argue with her.., tell her she's wrong.., challenge her to prove her point.., etc.. All of that just provides an ego challenge that nearly ALL women fall right into.., and get involved in the conversation.., that's ok.., that's where you want her to be.., it's not like you're going to sit there and actually prove her wrong.., if you like proving people wrong.., go to law school.., in real life.., you have to let people feel like they're "right" once in a while.., and with her.., let her argue.., make her point.., prove her case.., offer examples.., and then.., feel like she's convinced you that she's right.., and then agree.., (unless she still reeks of ego.., then keep ball-busting)..

Like you said.., the year is over.., you're talking about yearbooks.., so that means there is no "next year".., so you have to keep the conversation going for "long enough to make a connection.., but quick enough to not feel like you should be going".., 10-15 minutes is fine.., think logistically.., if there are chairs around.., you can afford to sit down longer.., but if you're both standing.., 10-15 minutes is a lot of time.., so work with it..

During the conversation.., dig.., "are you more a facebook or myspace person?".., (her: facebook).., "really? I went of facebook first.., but after my friend showed me myspace.., I like it a lot better.., blah blah".., yeah.., now you know she has a facebook or myspace account.., which means as you're about to leave.., you can do the following:

You: Anyway.., i'm sorry.., but I really gotta go.., thanks for signing my yearbook.., shoot.., I forgot to sign yours.., it's ok.. next time.., facebook me to remind me.., bye

Please.., everything that we talked about.., is just an example.., don't go up to her and recite line-for-line what's on this post.., just try and understand the concepts behind all of this.., that's ultimately more important than any lines.. (for example.., if you're still in class when you're all signing yearbooks.., THINK about what you are going to have to do to be the first one to break the interaction and leave.., while being "sorry" you have to say "bye" and leave.., and THINK about how to go about "e-mail/AIM/etc")

Best,

GrkScorp
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Last edited by GrkScorp : 15-05-08 at 10:31 AM.
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