"like a midget in a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes" -Naked Gun

"Pilot, how long before we land? (I can't say) You can tell me, I'm a doctor (No, I mean I dont' know how long until we can land) can't you take a guess? (Well, not for a couple of hours) You can't take a guess for a couple of hours?" -Airplane

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"Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes."