most likely. lol.

I forgot to mention something. Last night Betty and I were talking, and I just sorta asked her what she would like us to be called, that is, does she want some kinda of title when describing us to others/introducing. She was confused what I meant. I
said "You know, dating, lovers, bf/gf." She was like "Oh, i've always thought of you as my bf since this all happened. Don't you feel that way?" I said "Sure I
do, but I didn't know if you WANTED a title or were comfortable with that. I didn't want to insult you in case you didn't feel..." "Ready?" she said. "Yes,
ready because it's happened quick." We talked a little more about it but today I realized something.

Basically what I asked her would be what an average typical chump would say. Why the hell would I need her permission to call her my gf, or whatever? I know
how she feels, she knows how I feel, I basically just told her "I'm not sure what the deal is because i'm not sure about our feelings. I'm insecure and
wishy-washy."

Why did I do that? I'm happy with her, i'm comfortable with her. Why would I make a big deal about a "title"? I think I was thinking of how it happened with Joy and how she FREAKED when I didn't think of her as my gf, when she thought of me as her
bf. I don't know, it was weird though. I don't think Betty felt weird about it, but I realized I made myself look kinda lame with the "I can't decide for
myself, you need to tell me what to think." type questions.

What do you think? I think I did show I had control with her and that i'm not going to CHANGE to appease her. (like in the car and that she wanted to get me
off and I wanted to do the same, but she KNEW I wanted to wait till we were alone and could do EVERYTHING, and she expressed that interest too...BUT, if I wanted
to get her off right there, she would have let me. I would've gone against my wishes. (ala, the first time I slept with Joy when I wanted to wait, but she wanted me then and now and I gave in against my own wishes.) So I controlled myself and I think she respected me for that. She also mentioned that the first time we met that there was a definate connection but even though there was flirting and innuendo, that there was no way she would've cheated. I was like "Come on, you don't think that if I kissed you that you might have just given in during the heat of the moment?" she goes "No, I could never allow myself to do that when I was still together with him. I would hate myself and feel like I was doing something wrong. The only way you could've done something is if you forced yourself on me."
I really respect her for feeling that way. (not the rape thing, the control herself part) If she really is that in control, then i'm very happy about that.

I still think i'm learning how to enjoy this relationship, but stay being a man at the same time. There's parts of me that want to just swoon all over her and do whatever I can to please her. Can you believe that i've even thought of NOT going to the
academy to be with her? How terrible would that mistake be in my life? I have to remember this: A woman who loves her man will DO ANYTHING to be with
him, even if it's across oceans and such. I shouldn't have to give up my dreams to pursue something with her, even if it's like a dream in itself.

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3 out of 2 people have problems with fractions.