Thanks a lot Anthony.

Her honesty that first day did raise the red flag in me.
I panicked, and I admited it to her few days after, but on the other side
I was flattered that someone shared something like that with me, and generally trusted me with their most intimate secrets.

I thought if she was able to open up to almost a complete stranger without being asked, then maybe she is the one who can finnaly see the real me.

I have to say that I also didn't have much experience with girls. I was with that one girl which dumped me when I was a kid (16 yrs), and after that I had several 'feelingless' relationships which lasted for few days max.
So I also didn't know how to act in a more serious relationship and how to
recognize and understand that red flags.

I thought that I panicked becouse I was generaly shy and cautious with people, especially with girls I like, and I decided I will try to ignore my fears and try to show some courage at least this time.
I knew that I wouldn't forgive myself If I refused her that day.

Now I see that this panic was something more than just the fact that I was shy.

I told her about that panic I was feeling, but she couldn't understand why.
I told her I don't wan't to rush into a relationship, and that I want to take it one step at a time, but on the other side I was very flattered by the amount of feelings she was showing towards me.

At one point at the beginning (a week later or so) I went out with my friends and she went with hers. The day after she almost cried becouse she was convinced I was cheating on her. My first reaction was anger for not trusting me, but later I apologized and convinced her I would never do that, and after that she apologized too and trusted me afterwards.

She put me under similar pressure few times after that. First she tried to find a way to introduce me to her parents, and finnaly she did it by saying her father needs some help with comuters which is my occupation, so I met them.

Then, indirectly, she wanted to meet my parents by saying: "How much I would like to see your room and that books you're allways talking about!".
or "I could come and do the dishes for you!" and stuff like that.

On one occasion she indirectly mentioned she would like to have sex with me, but although I'm not a virgin I indirectly refused becouse we were far from ready for that.

All those red flags, but I thought: she is also unexperienced and she probably
doesn't know how to behave in a relationship, but since she is so soserious, she won't mind if I slow her down and tell we have all the time in the world.

I told her I need some time to fall in love, but when I do, I would tell her.
She also couldn't understand why. I told her that "I love you!" is more than words to me and that all I can give her at the moment is that she is the most amazing person I met, and that each day I feel more connected with her.

After a month or so, when I started to feel something deeper, I refused to think that this is love, becouse I was affraid I would get hurt again.
And finally when she was leaving, she said that she won't make it through the whole vacation without me. Then it hit me like never before that I actually love that girl, and, maybe it was a mistake, but I told her how I feel.

I know she was possesive at the beginnning but I knew she has nothing to fear, and I thought if she is so sure about me, then I have nothing to fear from her either. I thought I was the luckyest guy alive for having a honest and secure relationship.

Now I see that some things are definitly not like they seem. I still think we could be a very succesfull couple becouse we share the same opinion about
many important things, but maybe she needs to uncover her needs and desires she was hiding all those years.
I don't think she's crazy or something like that. She is very smart girl with very healthy view on the world, but maybe she really does need some time
to go wild and re-live all those years she missed becouse she was too desparate.

Maybe I need it too, but, at least, I had contact with more girls, despite the fact that I had no feelings, and I probably developed some sense on what I need.

I think I found that in her.

I tried to convince myself that I am not a stupid boy anymore, and that I finally want to take my life in a different direction this time. I thought she had the same opinion.

I think I blame myself for not seeing this comming at the first place, and for not recognizing the true meaning of that red flags. But on the other hand how could i have known that? This was the first time something like that happened to me.

I don't even know why I am writng all of this. Maybe I need to share it with someone smarter or more experienced than me.

However. I know this was a very valuable experience to me, and I know I will learn something out of this, regardless of the outcome.

Thank you very much for your opinion. I have a lot of thinking to do.
I will give her some time to think, and I won't give up on her so easy, but
I won't place her under any pressure.
Maybe she's not as ready for so much pressure as I was.
I admit I really am tolerant towards everybody and everything. It doesn't take much to make me happy.

Anyway thanks for listening, and thanks for your help.