I've been reading all this with great interest because I have Spina Bifida myself. It's something that has always bothered me that a lot of folks just don't take me seriously in a "relationships" way and I do wonder whether my disability has something to do with it. It is very true that there is a strong tendency to assume that a person who walks oddly is probably mentally disabled too....

I have been very surprised by the fact that general dislike of the physical look of somebody seems to be a little less often commented on than the assumed inability of a person to join in an "active lifestyle". My current problem is exactly the opposite at the moment! I have a partner (in quite a loose sense, but that's another story) who is "able bodied", but who has no interest in my lifestyle, which revolves around a fairly dangerous, active sport. I find this frustrating, annoying and frankly lonely. I would like nothing more than a fulfilling relationship with somebody who shares my interests and my "active lifestyle" (and yes, I have somebody in mind, but that is also another story!) but I have a strong suspicion that my disability plays a part in my difficulties in finding somebody suitable over the years - not because I am too active, but just because I don't strike people on first viewing as the kind of person who fits the usual description of "beautiful" from the waist down.

Personally, I have dated another person with a disability - it was something of a disaster, mainly because he was so bitter about his problems that he became mentally ill as a result. The disability itself was not really a problem to me. I do, however, dislike the idea of being expected to socialise and find my romantic attachments among only disabled people purely because I was born with Spina Bifida, and a lot of people expect that of a disabled person.

Thanks for the rational discussion on this one - it's good to see things from "the other side". Just remember that even a disability commonly regarded as "serious" isn't a reason not to have an outdoor, active way of life.