hi,

well i know how he feels, he is in the army, i am here, we are both doing our thing, we aren't officially together, maybe, we will be together one day, we just don't know, he doesn't want a proper relationship, he reckons it wouldn't be fair on me, ok, he is there if i need him, he has changed since the last time we had just the sex thing, the difference is now- he is still there, the other times he would just get in touch when he had time. so if he even writes a text where he doesn't even seem too happy, i just assume it is because of me, and i am making myself sick with it, i am not obsessed with him, i don't want to get hurt, and i do have my guard up, trying to protect myself, BUT on the other hand, if he doesn't write straight back i go out if my mind. Yesterday i ended up phoning him asking why he hadn't texted, i mean , how much more is he going to take, he said himself he would change, if he doesn't then, you know, i have to live with that, he said he isn't using me, ok, i don't know if he is, but as i said, he is still there, and he even mentioned the future together, so why in gods name do i have to react like this to the smallest thing. The thing is, i am not only like it towards him, but my mates aswell. is there even a name for my condition except, freak?