Originally Posted by Elysium
If you're a father and you want custody of your child, then I don't think you should be running off to the Navy as soon as you have custody of him. If you told the courts that was your plan, you know they would give her custody pronto.
Incorrect. If I have a stable home for him I will still get custody. The courts frown upon his mother badly. In fact, I am about to win this battle by default. She doesn't show to court. She misses 60% of her visitation times. And when she does show up she doesnt spend time with him. She has warrants out for her arrest in i dont know how many cities/counties now. Her blood has become acidic she has got so much shit in her system (its a figure of speech). There is no way in hell she will get custody of him. Even if I don't, he wont go to her. If for some reason the courts deide against my favor, they are going to go to the immediate family for adoption crap - and my dad and/or mother would step up to the plate quickly. My ex's parents wouldn't - in fact, Destine's mom hasnt seen bryce since he has left the hospital - and her dad has never seen him except for a few pictures. They never wanted anything to do with the kid. She will not win custody - Navy or not.
Originally Posted by Elysium
If you want what's best for your son - what's best for the child is to be with his parents - at least one of them, if you can take care of him. Nobody's perfectly happy with their situation. I wish I'd gotten a degree, I wish I lived elsewhere. I would move in a heartbeat but I swore to my son that I wouldn't ever make him change school districts, it affected me so badly in school when I moved halfway across the country.
I personally think that leaving your son would be very selfish. I'm sure one could say "oh but what's best for him is for me to be happy and this is what would make me happy and be a better dad" but imho that's just rationalization. If you want your son, you need to take care of him YOURSELF.
What's best for my son is to be with family. I am not the greatest dad in the world. But I do take care of him, MYSELF. But if I go off to the Navy, I am going to have someone take care of him for me. He is 1.5 years old. School is not a problem. Yeah, I will be gone for extended periods of time. Will he forget me ? no. Willhe hate me when he is older ? no. If I do leave there is only two people in this world I trust enough to leave my son with. My dad, and my step mother. The problem is getting them to actually do it. Bryce already knows them very well and is closely attached. For the past 7 months we have lived at that house. Its all he knows. Will my son notice that I am gone ? most probably. Will it kill him, or jeperdise his well being ? no.
Ask yourself this.. Would you rather live a poor life for the rest of your life, having your kid grow up not getting the things he wants, having your family struggle from pay check to paycheck to keep your home and food on the table, and remain in the biggest depression of your life ? Or would you rather have someone take care of your kid for you for 4-5 years, Go out and explore the world, get a degree, learn self discipline, gain self respect and respect from others, find yourself, and have the greatest opporitunities right in front of you that you can finally grasp onto if you truely wanted (i.e., good job) ?
I choose the Navy. And I know it will be hard for not just myself, but in the end it will make everyone happy. Especially my son and I.
Their are only three things that can stop me from joining:
1) Chance of Destine winning custody - odds of happening - next to none.
2) My father refuses to take care of my son - chances of happening - 50/50
3) Robin and I getting back together and starting things over between us - chance of happening - odds of winning the state lotto are better.