how many times has he pushed me away? i would say i stopped counting after 3 times... in the beginning it was just a bed relationship...but it has somehow become a bit more, but still not enough. In the past, he would say he had someone else, then i would find out there was no one else, and he would come crawling back, i dind't ever know whether he wanted me to fight for him even more, but how much more can i make him realise that i want him? i have told, i have showed him, i can't force him, i don't know what he wants me to do, it seems to me he likes the drama around him, he likes me saying i like him and he likes saying he has someone else, to show me that i can't have him, i don't know, it is so stupid, and then he can make me mad at him, and i think he does it on purpose, and then we don't speak until HE comes back. then things are back to normal, and then the cycle happens AGAIN. he has always said he will always come back, he reckons i have something no other girl has, so why doesn't he ever want me as his official girlfriend. When i told him i had met someone i even felt the smack in his face, it was a good feeling not letting him have the control, now he knows someone else may want me, i sensed he didn't like it. WIth this other guy, i like him, but i am just so scared to get into a serious relationship after all these years i have just had this relationship with this other guy. I mean this new guy he is nice, and he reckons he has the same insecure problems i do, i don't want to rush into anything though. of course he deserves a chance, i want to give him one, i am just so scared what will happen, i don't want to hurt anyone and i don't want to get hurt, i always thought if i stayed out if relationships then those things would never happen!