Paradox. You don't want to attract men passively, sitting there looking pretty, wearing a push-up bra and some lipstick, like "society" (???) is "expecting" (???) of you. BUT. I don't see any desire from you to ask the guys you like out yourself either. If you really want to *find* a guy -- LOOK.

Something's gotta give. Either you attract passively. Or you hunt aggressively. Everything else is just pure luck.

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If a shoe don't fit, it ain't your shoe!