Hi

Your issue sounds complicated, I think that somewhere inside her she wants you a lot, but everything else just seems to be getting to her too much, and in some respects she is looking out for your feelings, she knows she cant see you that often or spend time with you, but she may not realising how you are prepared to wait. Because everything is so hectic in her life one thing she needs right now is someone just there, so you being there should have been good, I think that maybe you need to reiterate this to her. You say that whenever you used to go on breaks she would do anything for you, and that she feels no remorse this time. There is a huge change there, and her time taking in replying to that letter may mean something, but at the same time she may be confused herself, she seems so straight in the way shes dealing with everything but with the way that everything has happened in her life how can she be certain on anything herself. You are nice, but stay that way- you can never be too nice or anything like that, you have to be understanding however much hurt you feel, its a lesson I've learnt.

If its the timing thing, then it should most certainly be a break, but until she confirms anything then you just dont know, and if it isnt a break then there may be more to it, you're an integral part of her life, I think maybe time and space may be what you need, from your point of view she needs you, but its not for you to tell her its for her ot realise.

I dont know if what I have said helps, I am new here too, this situation is complicated so I may have got on the wrong end of the stick.