Sounds like you've been through hell. And more of that then happiness. The love of your life has been undecided for such a long time and putting you through a surmountable amount of pain. INHO, you should let her go. It sounds like she's a nice person, and has tried to do the right thing for her family, rightly so. But who has gotten hurt EVERY time? Even IF she does leave him, and comes looking for you, do you think youre relationship with her will ever really be healthy? I feel bad for the current girlfriend, you obviously havent gotten over the pain from this yet, and its unfair to her. I think its great you have been honest with her from the start in how you feel. But you have to try and move on from the past, let that go, and start to heal yourself. Even in your current situation, how are you going to grow with her, if youre still clinging to the past? The past is the past, and the best thing you can do is let that go, let her go. Even if she does come to you, she will have years of emotions tied up with her husband or x, and he will ALWAYS be in the picture because of the children. There are just too many negatives in that scenario. Your heart is hurting because it is unfullfilled. But only you can fill it. You have to find ways to make yourself happy first.

All I can suggest, is that given time, you will find a way to let go of your past, maybe not forget, but live for the future for yourself, and thank God for the time you did share with her. People come into our lives for a reason. She opened your heart to a great love, but a beginning to be able to have a greater love down the road. Dont be sad it's over, be glad it happened.

Look to a bright future, with someone who truly appreciates you, and most of all, look to yourself!

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everything happens for a reason...