| What I'm seeing, Royy, is someone who has invested so much, SO MUCH, time, energy, emotions, just a lot of yourself into this woman and it's hard to let that go. It's hard to ever just be done with it because you've lived with it for so long that you're attached to it, it's like a major part of you, hence you cannot let it go.
I say this is just a state of mind. Powerful, yes, but a state of mind in the end and you have control over it if you bring it into the concious and convince yourself that you are master over your state of mind. For me, it's like after having lived my whole life into a quarter century of a certain religious faith, then all of a sudden being presented with arguments challenging what I had blindly believed for so long, I was reluctant, but in the end logic triumphed and I became a skeptic. I simply decided not to take anything for granted just because "that's the way we've always done thing" and without good reason. The decision was made over a thinking session and I know it sounds like I'm asking you to do something as simple as decide to cut off this girl from your feelings like a light switch, and it doesn't happen that way. I know. But the DECISION IS the light switch. Then the light (emotions) will fade out. Does that make sense?
We've seen too many movies, Royyy, and we all like to be martyrs. There's a certain romantic element in being blue over romance because it's at least an emotion attached to romanticism, albeit a negative one...and we humans like emotions. It's a deep fullfillment..not at all shallow. Maybe this is why love will never die as a topic of conversation, or of forums, or of talk shows, dramas, movies, TV shows..there's always the romance...the guy and the girl hooking up in 90% of the movies...maybe later the gay population will be more represented...but this is just an example.
So I think that is the decision you have to make in order to kill it..if you want. Yeah, it's a lot to get rid of, a BIG part of your life (baggage), but this past is preventing you from fully living your present and future.
That's my take, Royy, but that's just based on what I read into what your wrote. Obvisouly I have no way of knowing what you've gone through, only a small glimpse in what you wrote.
Freddie
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All I know is I know nothing - Socrates |