When you say "he's a great guy and very smart, decent..." are you joking? Because who reads your post gets a very different picture (at least i did). I see no future in that relationship, you love him and he doesn't. You do and take everything from him and he still not doing nothing for you.Next time he said somethin like "but i do that im my home" why you or your parents don't tell him something like "so why don't you go to your home? ". His behavior is intolerable for a 30 years old guy. You can stay with him for the rest of your life, but you'll never be truely happy, he'll never gonna change.
There's a song from Aretha Franklin, "Respect" that it's perfect for this post. If you don't know it, hear it, it might help to make up your mind. Good luck.