First off, thanks a lot for all of your replies. I really need to hear other people's thoughts on all of this.. it helps me to sort through it all.

Yes, I have told her that I would marry her. Recently, though... we've been talking a lot recently, and she knows exactly how broken i am over the whole thing. I've let her read my entire journal, for Christs sake, lol.

While she is kinda planning to get married, yes, I think that they have the possiblitly to make it. I've asked her what it is about this other dude that she likes more than me, and she listed all this stuff, and then kinda went.. "oh, well, thats all the same for you, but... he told me." He is a year older than we are, and we're seniors in HS. Its true that he goes out of his way to see her and everything, but he has much more resources than I do, because he's older.

Her bf is going to give her a ring(not an engagement ring) on halloween, her favorite holiday. I guess its to represent that he will get married to her later on down the road if they're still together. She is enthralled with the idea.

I'm not. While I just want the best for her, oh damn do i want the best for her, I wish the best was with me. She comes first for me, then I consider myself. Thats just the way I feel.

She definately loves both of us, I don't doubt that. Her heart is so huge, its part of what I love about her...