well if he says you can stop doing things to him then i guess he isn't selfish.... but i do agree with you, not having anything sexual between you 2 makes it seem like you are more like close friends than a couple. obviously you know what his position is on premarital sex and such, and he is totally entitled to that opinion. i give him credit for it. unfortunately that leaves you with a choice to make. you either have to respect him and not have really any sexual activity or you could break up and find someone more compatable with you in this area. it is not fair to try to convince him to do something against his will. you just have to figure out if he is like this because he's afraid or is it really his beliefs........ good luck with whatever you do!