i totally agree with steve. i understand that affairs are symptoms of underlying problems, but the solution is to fix the problem. not have an affair. affairs don't just happen. it is a consious decision. you are deciding rather then doing the right thing and trying to fix you problems, just to use somebody else to give you what you want. this makes things way worse in the end for everyone involved. people need to understand that when they got married they took a vow under God for better or for worse. they owe it to themselves and their children to atleast truely try to make it work. if problems can't be resolved, then fine seek a divorce. i do agree that children don't belong in an environment where the parents are unhappy. but when one parent has an affair that just makes matters WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY worse. my parents got divorved after my mom had an affair on my dad. there is alot more that goes along with it, but it's been over 2 years since my mom and i last spoke. i lost alot of respect for her. as someone who went through the situation i much rather she had come home and been likewe are getting a divorce then to do everything she did. when you are a parent your decisions effect not only you but your children also. no more being selfish. the same goes for say me being single and sleeping with a married man with children and such. i could never have that on my conscience. even though i have nothing tied to me, i would know deep down inside what i was doing to this man's kids. and don't think you can hide an on going affair. it will always get out.