I have to tell you that I am in your situation. SOrt of ...
I jsut started a new job and I am really attracted to a co worker. He is amazing, not to mention sexy as hell. I have no idea waht to say except, with something like this ... it just has to take time. She is problably confused or afraid that he will find out about the two of you. Have you had any contact with her recently? It could be that the husband has an idea of what is goin on and she is trying to make it seem like there is nothing or she has no idea what to do and she is afraid of losing her kids.
I would try and contact her and see if ther is a way to meet with her and talk about it. You may have to wait until she is ready.