Therapy.

And I'm not being an ass, I mean this in all seriousness. A relationship counselor can help you out here. I think it's good that you're trying to figure out what to do and asking for help, but my recommendation is to go to a professional therapist. Someone who has experience in situations similar (if not EXACT) to yours.

What makes me think that you should really seek professional help is mainly that you have a child with your wife, are in (even though you may currently think it's just a facade) a 'happy home' as a family, and obviously do care about your family.

I just don't want you to take someone's advice (who for all you know, but never would have guessed is some thirteen year old numbskull just here for entertainment purposes) and end up ****ing up your family situation, losing your child to custody of the mother, all for what very well could be a hopeless dream.

Rod Steele