thanks for the reply and the thoughts. she was not on match.com (that i know of) while we were together, even early on. the guys she was meeting were, according to her, "old friends" and nothing more. it felt strange that she felt such a need to meet "old friends" that she'd only seen a few times, though.

if you read the whole post, you pretty much have a sense of the dynamics for most of the relationship.

do you think it was too much for me to usually be hoping she might divulge who the "friend" was she was seeing or had seen? does that seem too jealous? i do feel like it would have been different if she told me who it was and, more often than not, invited me along - looking for the trends, not a rule, but she seemed to see it otherwise. anyhow, is that too much to expect?

what do you think about that "coming over" > "maybe staying home, but will let you know" > no returned calls of mine > "stayed with friends" deal? am i paranoid, here, or does that seem odd? i did question her a bit when she referred to the "hike with the match guy" as a "date" (which she claimed was a joke for "appointment"), and i did ask her why she didn't tell me she was going to a bar with a guy when she had the chance to tell me ("whatcha up to tonight?" "nothing, you?"). can you think of a reason for her to then feel she needed to hide things from me?

i know some people can just tend to be late. do you think that and the other stuff points to lack of caring?

i was often trying very hard to be patient with this stuff and trying to talk it out early on, but after several months of it, we'd get pretty angry and it'd get pretty ugly. for that, i feel regret and would do it differently, but can't imagine not getting frustrated with it.

what do you think?

thanks again.