Originally Posted by blackiesharley
Well, sorta stood up. Plans canceled at the last minute. Here's the story....
About a week ago I was introduced to a very pretty lady, just my type though a mutual friend. We hit it off immediately and exchanged numbers. Spoke on the phone a lot, we each said some nice things, the chemistry was great and then made plans to get together Xmas night. She has no family, I made plans to spend Xmas day with my Mother (which I did). I was to call her at 6pm (which I did) Our plans were for 7pm. Got her machine, left a message. She called me back in a few minutes. Said she was getting ready and to call her in a half-hour for her address. Fine, no problem.
I call her back, her first words were "You're gonna kill me, but I have to take care of a roommate situation tonight, sorry." then mumbled something about haveing to show her place to a potential roommate. Who the hell looks at apartments on Xmas night? I was so shocked that somebody would do this at the very last minute especially on Xmas that I don't even remember my response.
My question is this... What would you do? I think it's rude, unless there was a dire emergency, (and showing an apartment isn't) yet I do really like her. Part of me thinks that if I call her, I look like a desperate wimp.
On the other hand, maybe I should be a bigger person and call to give her one more chance.
I'm confused. Thoughts please?
EDITED FOR UPDATE: I just checked my phone machine after I posted the above and there was a message from her. She must have called back last night after I went to sleep. She was crying, and said 'Like an idiot I went and called my ex, please call me back.' MAJOR RED FLAG. (I suspect alcohol abuse (AKA drunk dialing) I will call her later and find out what it's all about. I'm still interested, I can't say I'm not, but I can tell already that she's an emotional 'fixer-upper,' in other words, she's ****ed up.
I have to be real carefull here. Her clingyness and what seems like instant dependence on me is appealing to my big heart.
I was thinking that it was understandable, though not unreasonable to wonder about, that she had to show her apartment. My reaction would have been "how did she not know sooner than minutes before the date that she needed to show the place...but I don't know her very well yet and maybe she just flakes sometimes". This was until I saw the part about the message re: calling her ex. That seems to confirm, to some degree, your intuition that it was odd of her to bow out minutes before hand.
I think I'd be tempted to let it slide and call her. However, not being as close to it as you are, I think I'd suggest taking it slow and feeling out how she's doing. I'd say just send an email asking how things are going and feel it out from there - let her know you'd be into getting together, so "feel free to call me any time and let me know if you'd like to go...". She can then let you know when she's ready, and you don't have to get too emotionaly involved with a ? till you feel she's truly available. It's not entirely unusual, in my experience, for a person to find a person potentially attractive (e.g., her to you) while still not over their ex. She could handle it better (know herself well enough to know that she likes you, but needs time to get on better emotional ground re the past), but she's human like you and I. Be available, keep yourself informed as to how her feelings are going with her ex (recognizing that whatever she says, it's possible it could take months for her to move on), and if she's a good one, you'll be right there for her to see you're good too. You haven't laid yourself out like a doormat, just made yourself available.
The alcohol thing seems worth paying attention to. It seemed you meant SHE was drunk dialling? If so, she needs to get past some emotions (and drowning them in alcohol), it seems. I personally find women that seem to abuse alcohol (many of us do, to some extent, but there are shades) less appealing. And dealing with an alcoholic can be more than you're ready for.