Hello.

If you have not read my previous posts, a relationship that I otherwise loved very much ended a few months ago due to impasses with my girlfriend. It was very difficult to communicate with her about some of her actions which made me mad and sad. She was very defensive when I asked her if she could stop being so regularly late, for example, or when I asked her why she was reluctant to mention when she was going to have drinks with a guy friend. OVer many months of this kind of thing, I lost patience. I told her in no uncertain terms that I wanted an end to it if she could not be more flexible and less defensive in such arguements, thereby not listening and not understanding how I felt - I even broke it off a few times as we couldn't get past the same themes. As our anger continued to grow over these things over months, I yelled at her to stop being so evasive, and once even accidentally slapped her as she continued to do what seemed like play games. I say accidentally as it was very dark as we sat arguing, we were very angry, and I swiped my open hand in disgust and it made contact with her chin. I know it was very wrong for the possibility of it happening to even exist, and I felt and still feel very horrible about it; I have never hit anyone in my life before this. It understandably shocked both of us, and she cannot forgive me for that or the breaking it off the few times.

I now understand that my direct approach to these things (concede when you have wronged, and try to understand the other's perspective) was not comfortable for her. In knowing this, I feel that we can be great for each other (in part because I have thought a lot about me, her, and us over the months and now understand how I was contributing to her reactions to me from the start - it seems to me that understanding could make the difference with arguements) as we shared many things in common and a deep soul and sensual connection.

She still loves me (as she says she does, and has implied she could imagine getting back together but far in the future if at all), but is reluctant due to our past. Does anyone have an idea of how I can rekindle our relationship? I want to talk to her about it and explain that the slap was accidental and that I know we can be good together, but am afraid that it will sound like excuses and or drive her away. But if I do not try to maintain closeness, I fear she will meet another man and be lost.

Please help.

Thank you very much.

EDIT: So, I recently spoke with her and she just wants to be friends. She says she's afraid of going back to where we were, though occasionally wavers on wanting to get back together. This seems to come through in conversation as she also says it just doen't feel right to her at this point and wants to see other people if it comes up (though has not, yet), but does say she wants to "see where the friendship leads".