You are just going to have to open up and be honest with him. You say that you can't even initiate a kiss or hold his hand......does this have anything to do with your self-esteem? If you really like this guy, you have to let go and be yourself. I know that it's easier said than done, but that's the only way you're going to enjoy a relationship with someone. Just try to take it slow.....like initiate a kiss one day and try to hold his hand the next. You can go at your own pace, but just make sure he knows how much you care about him and how much you enjoy being with him.