Darlin, your only 17 and you have your whole life ahead of you to find a bloke. Your wasting the precious time when you only have worries of school work and arguments with parents and social life to contend with, no bills, mortgages, cars etc and your spending your youth being controlled and feeling bad for yourself.
It seems to me youve already made up your mind deep down that you dont want to be with Joe so just finish it. Just tell him you cant stand the control anymore and leave him. I understand you have been with him a long time and you dont want to hurt him but your going to hurt him further down the line anyway because he will always be this way.
As for this other bloke, dont even go there. It is Joes best friend and i doubt he would risk his friendship for you, and even if he did would it be worth the hassle? And it wouldnt show much of your character or Brians if you both got together after you split with Joe.
My advice? Go off to college and follow your dreams. Do not be held back by a man, particulary someone you dont want to be with! Your education is going to get you a good job, and if its somethin you want to do who has the right to stop you?! Believe me I have made the mistake of holding back for a boyfriend and it only ends in tears. Not only do you have to deal with a breakup but also the realisation that you didnt do something because of this person and now you have split up you just feel so damn stupid. When you move away or start college you will meet lots of new people, and lots of new blokes, so get out there and enjoy your life while your still young
good luck -x-