Either you want her or you don't. Only you can answer that question by looking inside yourself. It doesn't get any simpler than that. You said it was a problem that this conversation created hope for her. So this hope is a bad thing because she thinks you're going stay with her when really you're not? Is the hope bad because it's a false hope? Only you can answer these questions. I can't count the number of times you've said you've wanted to break up with her. You've been up and down more times than a roller coaster. Make up your mind THEN DO IT. Sometimes you've gotta make decisions that hurt other people in order to make yourself happy. As Aries said, "You can blame others for your unhappiness in life, but you can only blame yourself for staying there." So until you resolve this once and for all, you have no one to blame but yourself for your sexual disenchantment. Unless you're willing to do something to fix it, don't expect your situation to automatically change because it probably won't. Change requires effort. It sometimes requires us to do things we don't really want to do. When it comes down to it, you have to guage the effects in the long run and see if it's really worth it. That's how you make good decisions and "in the long run" is the key to solving your problem. So in the long run, who will make you more happy? Jordyn or Meghan? Just make a final decision.