Hi Raverboy thanks for considerate reply. See comments below

>what makes you different? i would think she takes out her stress on other co-workers including yourself. have you thought that maybe she takes it out on other, but from your point of view, you're only feeling that she takes it out on you because you might want it to appear that way?

- I see what you mean, but no, the weird aggro was pointed my way only as far as I could see. Our office is quite small and it's easy to hear how she interacts with others - there's no tense vibe with others at all.

>say for example when she came into your office at 4pm, then only calls you later just because she wants to you stand next to her. it might indeed appear that way, but is that the truth? she might have honestly needed something from you rather than just having your presence near her.

- Sounds logical but in this particular instant there was no "real need" to call me over, there was no actual question to settle or have my advice on. I definitely felt it was an excuse just to ask me in to her room

>i'm not sure what this girl is doing, but i do believe that it's hard to understand because you are refraining from telling her how you feel.

- I have said that I appreciate her very much as a colleague. I have also given compliments on her looks, all this she seemed to like - but I had never stated my true feelings for risk of upsetting too much. But some people say that these kind of feelings show anyway and that a girl can pick them up by intuition.

> how are the situations when you and her are alone?

- the alone situations are the ones that have been the toughest during the last weeks , in large groups she acknowledged me and even gave me credit for things but 1 to 1 she would treat me very cold and sometimes impolite.

> do you still take out out to lunch and if so, what are they like?

- I stopped that a while back because the vibe felt so awkward, I felt we could not relax together during lunchesany more. Then suddenly last week she invited herself to lunch with me and two other colleagues, and spent the whole lunch trying to make the best impression by chatting kindly, joking and being nice. Very odd