Juicy topic.
Hey Zorro. Have you tried this? When you get soft, you let her play with you, with her hands, maybe that will help a bit. This would help a lot if you're used to hand stimulation.
Or let her do some dirty talking, if that's your kind of thing.
Or figure out what kind of things really turn you on, and share them with her, and maybe ask her to do some of those things?
Or do something a bit more adventurous- like outdoors.
But mostly you just need to relax,
like "take off your shoes and relax your feet"
But of course, I'm a girl so I wouldn't know what would work for a guy.