Hi...

I'm a newcomer to the forum. I think I might be a lil late in response to this particular thread - sowwie!

What you went thru, is a lil similar to what I went thru. A few years back, I met the most wonderful guy. He turned my whole world around and helped me see life with a different and more positive outlook - but he came with one big string attached - he was deeply in love with his gf at that time and they were on the verge of falling apart. Sounds cliche? Yep.

To cut a very long story short (spanning 2 years), he left me hurt and lost becoz while he loved me, it was his gf that he met first and he wasn't going to let a 3 yr relationship fail without trying his best to save it. I tried my best to help them, knowing he was unhappy in the r/ship. So I decided to leave him once and for all, wished them well, and went overseas to give myself space and to start over.

I found out recently from my sister, he broke up with his gf right after I left, and tried to convince her to reveal my whereabouts. But she refused on the basis that she felt he had hurt me enough and that it was all in the past, no pt raking it all up again. He did find me thru a mutual friend of ours this year and asked for a second chance to startover. But it's too late. Altho I still loved him (I think a part of me always will), I'm already happily attached so I bid him farewell for another time.

*sigh* Life is all about missed chances and ill-timing. But it'd only complicate matters if there is another party involved - no one will be happy. Do I regret not giving it a second shot? I can't answer that. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. I won't say my current r/ship is smooth going. It's got alot of downs, more than ups.

But what I always believed is, if the person is meant to be yours, nothing will tear you both apart. Somehow, no matter how many obstacles are in your way, things end up falling into place. That's not to say you can sit back and watch things happen. If you want something, you must always fight for it. But in time, somehow both parties will find themselves face to face together again.

Unfortunately, for my case, feelings are there, strong as ever but it's too late to go back to the way things were. To me, the times we had can only be sweet memories.

Time will tell if Ben will be yours. Maybe it's months, maybe years. But you're right to not interfer until he's available. It took me 2 painful years to realize this.

So good luck and I hope you'll find happiness anyway in the end... you're not alone when it comes to feeling this way.

p.s. pardon the long post!