i think you should appreciate what you have. everybody will always have a person that they just can't forget no matter who comes in our lives next. things would be screwed up if you went with judy. you would be giving up your life, and your children's life if you did this for a woman who denied you your son for all these years and gave up on you. the story that she didn't tell you because someone told her that you were serious with someone else is totally bogus, don't you think? i do. that wouldn't be any excuse for me. yet she would tell you that she loves you knowing how you feel about her and knowing that you have a family of your own now. you trust your wife and you love your children. how long are you going to hang on judy's strings? you have had barely any contact with her in years. that isn't love. love is your home with your family. it's not fond memories of somebody or making excuses for the things they've done wrong.

but if you do decide to divorce and be with judy (hopefully you will first divorce) think of the turmoil you would be putting your children through, in the name of love. you have more to think about at this point than the past. children do not do well with their parents divorcing. it seems like you're really involved in their lives right now, that would decrease significantly. your wife would be so bitter that you chose a woman who had betrayed you in such a way over her, damn that would be painful. think about if she did that to you. if she had a boyfriend in her past that beat her or whatever, but then decided later after marrying you and having your children that she loved him more and went back to him. and you say that you think she cheated on you... well same with judy...right?

i don't know, like i said i can't decide for you, but i hope you do the right thing for your family and yourself.

it's natural to long for other people even if you're in a relationship. some people will always live in our hearts and as much as we'd like to carve them out of there it's incredibly difficult to impossible. that doesn't mean that we should change our lives or give up what we had because they've decided to make their come back. it's all about timing.

what do you think?..