I havent seen this girl in two years(So no feelins). She was open for anything at all, I dont know what I want and I threw it all away. It was the perfect setup all I had to do was go with it and I froze up. When she was leavin I had another chance but instead of just leftin her hug me deeply and say something like Im going to miss u alot she probley would of wanted to stay, I knew she did. She gave me the opening and I threw it down. Why the whole time I wanted it but when she came on to me like I wanted I froze up, when she came back to sit down I remind her she was leaving and during the hug I.. well I distroyed that in fact I may have distroyed any chance in the future as well as a firendship.

My last words to her were "enjoy college". WTF deep down I wanted her (I wanted her in highschool) but I pushed her out the door and as soon as she left I felt a like a weight was lifted off my shoulders like I advoided death. I feel that geting laid is expected of me and I do want it but at the same time I dont.

I will never get a chance like I had tonight tomarrow she goes back to college. Now I gp back to playin this my lame ass RC car.