Prodigal,

That's some good reasoning. I appreciate the long post

I'll state simply the concept you've introduced. I think that without realizing it you've again used logic, but you've indirectly brought another factor into the equation that I had previously overlooked. That factor is regret. Will the pain I feel now, of trying, be less than the regret I will feel later and possibly forever if I don't? What good is closure if what follows will be even worse than rejection?

Regret is a constant doubt; the question of what might have been, if you could only change some choice you made in the past. And since past choices are rarely changeable, you have no chance of getting rid of that feeling of doubt, at least not in a practical sense. You can choose to ignore it or be okay with it, but you can't do anything about its cause, since the cause is in the past.

I personally feel that regret is one of the worst emotions (if regret can be considered an emotion) that a person can be put through, and not only because regret is forever. I for one would rather feel the pain of trying and possibly failing, than the despair of regret. Failure comes with its own lasting pain; the pain of not getting what you want. But that pain originates from the outside. There is nothing you can do about it now, but you did try. You were just dealt a bad hand. That can not compare with the pain of regret, because regret comes from within. It's a self-punishment, it's kicking yourself for not at least trying when you could, and there is no one to blame but yourself. I can think of nothing more tragic.

Therefore my choice is to try. The question now is how to proceed. That's not something I'll easily figure out, but I'm working on it. It's really too big of a situation to detail here, but if I get stuck I may still end up asking for advice on the specifics.

Thanks to everyone who posted advice, especially Prodigal, who obviously spent a good chunk of time on her answer. Thanks also for the compliments about the "way I think"; that was nice little ego booster. I too like the way you think.