I never said he and I were just friends. I think we both know better than that (both meaning Chris and I). At this point we are taking things slowly. Fixing what we had made the mistakes of doing in the past.
This isnt about hanging out with a guy who only wants sex and wont do anything else. We have a great time together. And he doesnt lead me on and then say oh well poor me I cant be with you. He isnt the one to bring it up...I am. I always say look we arent going to do what we did in the beginning we're going to fix things. And, of course, its hard not to just jump him but we've both been able to resist.
I have no doubt the guy loves me, this isnt about that. I know for a fact the guy loves me or he wouldnt spend all the time he does spend with me period. He wouldnt be seeing me all the time. If this were a game, he would be out seeing other girls and then coming back to me telling me he loves me. He's not.
I've always believed that what he and I have is really awesome and really special. He is a great person, highly intelligent, very motivated, very kind and if he doesnt want to be with me he will let me know. He and I do have a special friendship...its more of a best-friendship and thats how I want it to be. I love him I'm not denying that. And I'm not sitting here saying oh there arent any feelings hes just my friend blah blah blah.
He and I do have potential, I just dont want to screw up like he and I both did before by rushing things. I like it the way it is... yesterday was a lot of fun.
We have feelings for each other, and we tell each other that, but I dont think we're ready to be as serious as we were before.
Thats one thing maybe I didnt make clear about the both of us. We are the type of people that are either all or nothing at all. We dont date. We're either together or arent together and at this point we arent. If I do decide to move in with him next year its at that point when I'll say we are serious.
Right now if he says he wants to date someone else, thats totally fine and vise versa... I already have actually and he knows about it. I just want him to be happy and if that means he needs to date some nurse then so be it. I cant control his feelings or emotions. But I can tell you this... that wont happen. I seriously doubt that will happen. After all I am still and always will be his Sarah Bear.

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