I've got a big crush on a particular girl, I don't really think she has any idea, but my problem is that I'm not very confident around her enough to tell her or ask her out or anything. Unless, of course, I have a higher than normal blood-alcohol level

Does anyone think this is incredibly wrong? Or fine?

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Death is like sex in highschool, because if you knew how many times you missed it, you'd be paralyzed.