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intrepido
26-09-06, 11:07 AM
Hi- I kinda need some advice or at least opinions on what is going on with this girl....(Ill write it in a puncuated fashion to include all the details)

Got summer job at law firm between jr and sr year of college. Met girl first day, we locked eyes and she blushed and whatnot, I stared. Found out shes funny, and we both play sports at school. Lots of things in common it seemed, and a real understanding of one another (but this might just be in my head, even though I dont think it is) Anyway, found out later that shes only goin into her freshman year of college and I have principles and values and think I may b too old for her. She is giving me sexy eyes and flirting with me all week. She seems real innocent and whines about bad guys, relationships, comes off like a little bit of a princess, which I dont usually like but I kind of think she should be treated like a princess. Summer goes by, we become friends, I want to hang out with her towards the end and maybe see if anything happens. We couldnt get it together, she thought I had forgotten her # cuz I told her I would just remember it(we were in the parkin lot and had no pen/paper) so she made other plans with friends, but then called me later that nite when those plans fell through as well haha. Anyway, taht nite I wasnt around my phone, went to friends house and was thinkin about her. Came home and was playin guitar and wrote a song about her and recorded it to give her. Ive never done anything like that before. I gave it to her and she gave me these big bear hugs. She went back to school a day later. Its weird because I like her and would really just like her to be happy but I also am attracted to her and we both seem to have a real good time when together.

Winter comes and I find out that she lost her virginity to this asshole guy in the office that she always complained about and was also dating some other guy in the office during that summer. That kinda made me rethink how innocent she was, but maybe not, Im kinda confused here. I get my fair share of women, Im an attractive strong athletic guy, 6'5, green eyes, going to medical school, can draw and play music etc. Not to brag but when Ive liked a girl theyve usually liked me back, I think she does but I cant figure it out. She surprised me from behind gettin off the elevator in the building we work in over the wintertime and as we leaned in to hug it really seemed like she wanted me to kiss her. (since I didnt could taht have messed things up do u think?) She wanted to talk over the winter and I think it was about the song, she called me once and she said it was really sweet. Shes a real sweet girl in general to most people but she definitely behaves differently with me. We didnt get together over winter, I gave her her space as she was always talkin about her friends and how she misses home, I really care about her...She was at a party for my cousins graduation the next summer but I was busy most of the party. I hear she really wanted to talk to me about what I was going to do now after college and when she left she threw her arms around me and gave a big hug. I called her a few weeks later to see if she wanted to get together and go to a carnival but she was busy. We were workin at the same firm together again. One day we were talkin about both goin into the city that nite. She calls me that nite but I was actually with another girl at my friends apartment, I heard my phone ringing but didnt answer it and didnt see it was her til 4 am. So she was tellin me that she was real upset I didnt answer and told me that she had a dream about it. So Im just goin nuts now not knowing what the hell is goin on, summer goes by again and we part ways. We had exchanged instant messenger screenames and one day we talked online. She is always jokin with me and callin me names, I said that Ill miss the office we work at when I go to school and that Id like to do something nice for them, and she calls me a big girl, so I say that I actually think its manly to do things for people like that, shows that ur more of a man and u dont have to act tough all the time (which I believe btw) She then says that Im right and that there arent many men out there like me and that I remind her of her daddy. She also told me that I have a cute butt and other things, seeming to talk more candidly online than in person. This seems to be a big hint another one was at a party she held. Her friend flirted with me when I walked in and then went over to her and they were talkin and lookin over at me giggling, then later she called her friend a slut and said that shed hook up with any guy. Her other friend said that Im dreamy, Id have to expect her to have shared the fact that I wrote her a song even if she didnt like it or me. Her friend also said that shes seen allthe pictures of me from work, when theres only one picture and its real hard to see me in it.

So, I feel that I should not really talk with her until she comes back again this winter and then I dont know what I should do really....it seems like shes waiting for me to make a move, like just flat out kiss her, maybe even in public who knows, or maybe she doesnt like me, or does but just as friends. The guy advice Ive heard and read is that I should just ignore her more or less, pay her no attention and then shell become interested, but I was never one to do any of that bullshit even tho it may work and I aint tryin to start using that slimey routine with an incredible girl like this...I thnk maybe I scared her with the song? even tho I dont think it was all that big a deal, maybe I should explain it to her, that it was for her, for strength before going off to college, and that I wanted her to know that somoene really thought the world of her. It wasnt something to make her feel sometihng that she didnt, I did it because I thought she did feel something. At any rate I am wondering whether it is ok to be a girls friend and at the same time be attracted to her and have feelings for her. I really am her friend we have a great time goofing around so maybe thats why Im goin crazy here because I found somoene that Im real good friends with and that Im also attracted to. Ladies what do u think!!??! U can see im goin nuts over this girl, I think I love her. Sorry for the long post, any advice ior input is greatly appreciated

Junket
26-09-06, 11:33 AM
Did you call me a racist?

I will not respond to your thread until I get an answer.

intrepido
26-09-06, 11:46 AM
haha nah I didnt call u a racist.... I couldnt respond to u in a private message because I dont have enough posts yet.

vashti
26-09-06, 11:49 AM
Did you call me a racist?

I will not respond to your thread until I get an answer.

That was so funny I would have given you rep points just for making me laugh if the system would have let me.

vashti
26-09-06, 11:53 AM
I don't think many people can transition from friend to lover, but the only way you will find out is to lay your cards on the table with this girl..

intrepido
26-09-06, 12:02 PM
I don't think many people can transition from friend to lover, but the only way you will find out is to lay your cards on the table with this girl..

Yea, Ive actually know and have known people that have done this but I agree its not the easiest thing to do. Thing is I think that there was and is something there and we became friends in the meantime. A lot of serious relationships I know of have started with friendship. Ive been told in the past that Im the perfect guy, whatever that means, and Ive had girlfriedns say that I would be someone they would want to marry etc. I think that Im cursed in a way. This girl seems to think a lot of me but maybe not now and at our young ages. I really care for her and I even feel a bit bad about talkin about this and not just letting it be. I wouldnt talk about it with anyone who might actually be able to give me some information as that would ruin the whole dance, but yea I need to just lay it out for her. She is someone that I want to have in my life so if it doesnt work out I will still remain friends. I need to pull something unexpected and daring.

King Zarathu
26-09-06, 12:03 PM
http://img241.imageshack.us/img241/2677/kthxcopytk7.jpg

I'm so artistic....

>.>

vashti
26-09-06, 12:06 PM
Haha! He's gonna be really mad...

Intrepido - tell this girl how you feel. Either way you will have resolution.

King Zarathu
26-09-06, 12:08 PM
Haha! He's gonna be really mad...

Intrepido - tell this girl how you feel. Either way you will have resolution.

I'm tempted to make you one.

vashti
26-09-06, 12:19 PM
No thanks.

Junket
26-09-06, 07:27 PM
First of all, Zath is a big prick.

Second of all, you don't want to be "just friends" with a girl you're romantically interested in. 'Cause it'll hurt.

Gigabitch
27-09-06, 03:23 AM
Haven't you heard of the dreaded Friend Zone? Why would you want to banish yourself to that place voluntarily? Take it from a female, the longer you spend in the Friend Zone, the less chance you'll ever have of being her boyfriend.

You don't really sound all that keen anyway. It's been years. You haven't really made a move. Are you asking us if we think it's okay to linger in Love Limbo forever?

My opinion: No. No, it isn't.

intrepido
27-09-06, 10:33 AM
Haven't you heard of the dreaded Friend Zone? Why would you want to banish yourself to that place voluntarily? Take it from a female, the longer you spend in the Friend Zone, the less chance you'll ever have of being her boyfriend.

You don't really sound all that keen anyway. It's been years. You haven't really made a move. Are you asking us if we think it's okay to linger in Love Limbo forever?

My opinion: No. No, it isn't.



Well its been a year and a month since I first met her and a month after that she left for college, then came back for 3 weeks and then left again...then during this summer she was back around. It seems as if shes playin games and even though I would like to be with her she really means a lot to me as a friend also. Its a tough situation because it seems too perfect, so despite the advice Ive received here I think Im still just going to play it by ear with her and not do anything that would mess things up.

derm
28-09-06, 06:12 AM
Giga is back preaching about the 'Dreaded Friend Zone'..lol

Intrepido unfortunatly it's a bad idea to mix both. She's either your friend that you only think of as a friend or she's a girl you really fancy. Bad idea making her both.

Sure sounds like she fancies you but if your of the age I think you are [Mid-late teens] everyone fancies everyone and you go through partners like you do fresh underware.

Just go with the flow and see where it takes you...enjoy yourself and don't be analyzing the situation so much.

intrepido
28-09-06, 07:44 AM
Giga is back preaching about the 'Dreaded Friend Zone'..lol

Intrepido unfortunatly it's a bad idea to mix both. She's either your friend that you only think of as a friend or she's a girl you really fancy. Bad idea making her both.

Sure sounds like she fancies you but if your of the age I think you are [Mid-late teens] everyone fancies everyone and you go through partners like you do fresh underware.

Just go with the flow and see where it takes you...enjoy yourself and don't be analyzing the situation so much.

Nah Im 23 and shes 20. I think the reason I feel this way is because I could maybe see myself with her for the long haul, I mean if thats in the cards. We just get along like best friends in a way but at the same time I know shes attracted to me and me to her. She respects me as she says theres not many men out there like me and compares me to her father. She says she enjoys all the time we spend together and I am just sitting stone faced not wanting to jump into anything because Id rather something build up over time even more so than it has, and I thnk that would be even more incredible than just jumpin into something. I dont know tho, I will be going away to school for two years next summer in Boston away from our home in Long Island, she is at school during the year but over the summer shes around and at christmas time she will be again. Im tempted to find out something from our mutual friends but Im wondering if it would even be right to do something like that.

PS
I dont know about all this friend zone crap...I know many people that have started out as friends and have had great relationships, and being in the friend zone is nonsense also as far as Im concerned. The friend zone is someplace where you get put if the girl never had any romantic interest in you to begin with. Theres nothing to say that someone who a girl does have romantic interest cant be her friend also, I see it all the time every day, girls being friends with guys who they have a thing for, theres many degrees of friendship and what I have with this girl is something special, a great friendship, but that doesnt in any way mean that she doesnt have interest in me romantically because of the fact that we are friends. I think thats total nonsense and something frustrated people say.

derm
28-09-06, 07:36 PM
Nah Im 23 and shes 20. I think the reason I feel this way is because I could maybe see myself with her for the long haul, I mean if thats in the cards. We just get along like best friends in a way but at the same time I know shes attracted to me and me to her. She respects me as she says theres not many men out there like me and compares me to her father. She says she enjoys all the time we spend together and I am just sitting stone faced not wanting to jump into anything because Id rather something build up over time even more so than it has, and I thnk that would be even more incredible than just jumpin into something. I dont know tho, I will be going away to school for two years next summer in Boston away from our home in Long Island, she is at school during the year but over the summer shes around and at christmas time she will be again. Im tempted to find out something from our mutual friends but Im wondering if it would even be right to do something like that.

PS
I dont know about all this friend zone crap...I know many people that have started out as friends and have had great relationships, and being in the friend zone is nonsense also as far as Im concerned. The friend zone is someplace where you get put if the girl never had any romantic interest in you to begin with. Theres nothing to say that someone who a girl does have romantic interest cant be her friend also, I see it all the time every day, girls being friends with guys who they have a thing for, theres many degrees of friendship and what I have with this girl is something special, a great friendship, but that doesnt in any way mean that she doesnt have interest in me romantically because of the fact that we are friends. I think thats total nonsense and something frustrated people say.

Well the basis of any good romantic relationship is friendship!. The best marriages are based on a solid friendship.

If she compared you to he dad well then you can't do any wrong, every girl want's a man like her dad [provided she adores her dad]

I think it may be easier for girls to be friends with guys they fancy but from my own personal experience it's harder for a guy to just be friends with a girl he fancies. It could just be me!

Starting out as friends and ending up as lovers is fine but the opposite way around is a real bad idea in my view

Gigabitch
29-09-06, 01:46 AM
Theres nothing to say that someone who a girl does have romantic interest cant be her friend also, I see it all the time every day, girls being friends with guys who they have a thing for, theres many degrees of friendship and what I have with this girl is something special, a great friendship, but that doesnt in any way mean that she doesnt have interest in me romantically because of the fact that we are friends. I think thats total nonsense and something frustrated people say.

That's not friendship. It just isn't. We need to come up with some other word to define this, because calling someone you have romantic interest in is misleading when you can apply the same term to someone who will never, ever have a chance.

intrepido
29-09-06, 07:09 AM
Well the basis of any good romantic relationship is friendship!. The best marriages are based on a solid friendship.

If she compared you to he dad well then you can't do any wrong, every girl want's a man like her dad [provided she adores her dad]

I think it may be easier for girls to be friends with guys they fancy but from my own personal experience it's harder for a guy to just be friends with a girl he fancies. It could just be me!

Starting out as friends and ending up as lovers is fine but the opposite way around is a real bad idea in my view


Yea, thats what I was getting at with the friendship thing. She always tells me how we talk about things and have fun in ways that no one else would think is funny or fun, and shes right, I know that but its real good to hear her say that without any prodding from me, she just seems to say whatevers on my mind all the time, whatever im thinking.

She tells me that she wishes so much that she was closer with her dad. Ive never met him but she tells me taht I remind her of him both physically and character wise. Shes also told me that Im her hero, in a joking fashion sorta but also somewhat sincerely what with the way she looks at me and says it. Shes also told me that she wants to be like me, that Im good at everything "awesome at life" and all taht jazz. Her friends also like me and she just treats me with an understanding and caring side that no one really does. Shes a little young tho, so when I first met her I told myself that I would wait for her to have her experiences and grow up a little. That noble waiting notion is proving a little bit harder than planned but no big deal, shes def worth it plus I dont want to sound like Im pulling strings for or on her, we talk every now and again and just have the best conversations like we always did but even better as time goes on.

Ive never dated a girl that Ive been friends with beforehand and Ive also never stayed friends with a girl Ive dated after weve broken up. Ive been intimate with girls who were friends but never ever felt this way about anyone.

Your defintely right about the other way around thing...staying friends with somene youve dated dont work mainly because, in my experience, when the sex isnt there u find that theres not much else u had in common but the sex! Girls Ive dated Ive always found attractive and were able to 'get along' well enough with for a little while.

Anyway, this is turning into a good thread, hope to keep it going by talkin about some of these friend ship/dating issues.

intrepido
29-09-06, 07:24 AM
That's not friendship. It just isn't. We need to come up with some other word to define this, because calling someone you have romantic interest in is misleading when you can apply the same term to someone who will never, ever have a chance.

Well, I see your point but I feel that theres a clear distinction, at least in this case. I find myself moving back and forth in my head with this girl sometimes between her friend and someone who I would like to be with. This is all very new to me, Ive never had romantic interest like this in a friend before. When I first met her I couldnt believe how beautiful she was, to me. Thats a real important distinction with me and her because in a vacuum, there are prettier girls out there, but no one has what she has, physically, for me, let alone personality wise, again for me. (and at least right now for me, who knows what the future will bring).

Theres also another way to see it. I feel very close to her in terms of our personalities and we each make each other feel good, on purpose, we care for one another. There is also physical attraction there, we are both young attractive people and the feeling I have is that I want to be as close to her as possible. There are a lot of motives, desires and goals behind sex and wanting to be as close to a person on every level is a more than valid one and in my case it is how I feel.

Maybe pre-lovers? haha, but there are just different degrees of friendship. Im friends with girls that Im not attracted to but maybe theyre attracted to me, nothing is so clear and dry.

Gigabitch
29-09-06, 07:26 AM
Okay, so maybe she's an 8 on the 1-10 Friends/Lovers scale. How about that?

intrepido
29-09-06, 07:31 AM
Well the basis of any good romantic relationship is friendship!. The best marriages are based on a solid friendship.

If she compared you to he dad well then you can't do any wrong, every girl want's a man like her dad [provided she adores her dad]

I think it may be easier for girls to be friends with guys they fancy but from my own personal experience it's harder for a guy to just be friends with a girl he fancies. It could just be me!

Starting out as friends and ending up as lovers is fine but the opposite way around is a real bad idea in my view

ALSO yea I agree with it being harder to be a friend with a girl I would liek to be with. I dont do it in fact, I either think of them as a pure friend or I try to go for it with them, OR I dont become friends with them at all.

This girl I didnt want to be anything with, It just happened. We were both attracted to each other at the start, unless I totally misinterpreted the tons of signals she gave me, and then I didnt want or try to be her friend I just couldnt stop smiling while I was with her and I knew that it was something I never felt before. I tried to shake it off but everytime she left and came back it would be like the first time I ever saw her.

Girls can be friends with guys they like because I think they are tryin to work their way in there sometimes, and theyre also not thinkin about sex quite as much. For guys it doesnt work as well, and if someone was just tryin to be a girls friend to eventually get with her that is just plain wrong, to me, and Ive seen that go down many times, sleezy downrite sleezy.

derm
29-09-06, 09:31 PM
Intrepedo

From what you've written she's crazy about you! You're crazy about her! Her friends fancy you and if her friends fancy you she'll start to fancy you more. They've been drooling over your photos, even the blurr ones.

Your 6' 5'' even if your face was deformed you have a clear advantage. The girl likes you man!!! But YOU must do something soon. I'm 6'3'' and girls have told me my height has made it a bit intimidating for them to make the move.

You must do something soon before she starts convincing herself you're not interested in her as a GF and ye head into the 'Dreaded Friends Zone'** Worse still some other guy comes along and she falls head over heels in love with him and comes to you for advice.

If you think she is the 'one' and ye may be too young for marriage etc. Dont worry. Go out with her for a while, get to know her. Ye can always break up and have a break from each other until your both older and have been with other partners.

Don't however make excuses for not making a move and live to regret it for ever more






** Copyright of Gigabitch, all rights reserved. Patent pending

intrepido
29-09-06, 10:55 PM
Yea, Ive been retarded, I think because of what being with her would mean. I do plan on talkin to her about all this over the winter, either before or after making some sort of obvious move or kiss.

At first when she would give me seductive eyes and practically walk right into me (which I thought was odd haha) I would also find her looking at me and not even looking away when I saw her right away. I think she was a little intimidated because she would hit me or touch me but do it sort of nervously and inhibited, even though I see her as being very confident for the most part.

When she comes back in a few months I will do something, your advice may have been the kick in the pants I needed! Because, yes I think I have waited long enough where we would be in a very romantic place and not an awkward one driven by attraction and or sex, like it would have been at the beginning if we were to have gotten togeher then. Not to say that immediately starting a relationship with a girl after youve first met is wrong or not as romantic, but for me, and especially because it was her, I preferred to wait and make it something special. I also couldnt believe her, that she was actually real and I was skeptical in a way, thinking that she was to good to be true. I was also afraid of getting involved and then breaking up because it wasnt the right time.

derm
29-09-06, 11:11 PM
You sure are very calculated........remind me of me.

I am always analysing girls and finding faults with them and finding reasons why it wouldn't work or whatever.

But sometimes you find someone who ticks all the boxes and then she lets you down because she was just leading you on or whatever.

I'm trying to change but it's not easy, I'm far too picky where girls are concerned. For example: she has to be tall, slim, blonde sexy AND have a super personality.

You just can't get them custom made to your requirements. you seem to love everything about this girl and vica versa........Go for it!

intrepido
29-09-06, 11:31 PM
You sure are very calculated........remind me of me.

I am always analysing girls and finding faults with them and finding reasons why it wouldn't work or whatever.

But sometimes you find someone who ticks all the boxes and then she lets you down because she was just leading you on or whatever.

I'm trying to change but it's not easy, I'm far too picky where girls are concerned. For example: she has to be tall, slim, blonde sexy AND have a super personality.

You just can't get them custom made to your requirements. you seem to love everything about this girl and vica versa........Go for it!


Yea, I wasnt lookin for anything and when I first met her I remember walking around the office physically shaking my head and thinkin that I was really in for it with this. I tried to forget about it, she went to Greece for two weeks and I sorta forgot about her, but when she came back it was like the first time we met again, and thats how its been everytime I see her practically. I dont so much find faults in a girl, although I do do that too, but Ill think of things thatll make the relationship not work, like distance (had a bad long distance relationship) or age difference because I kno lots of guys take advantage of that and maybe shes had bad experiences, sounds like she has. ALL STUPID NONSENSE. I am in reality a little scared that it wont work out for whatever reason, like wed have a bad break up or something, but I could never do anything to hurt her, Id hurt myself a million times before I hurt her once.

Girls can also be silly sometimes with missing the chance at the very beginning to be with them then they cant find you attractive anymore, but you know what? I think thats as big of a crock as the friend zone talk and a true heart that really cares and loves someone else is able to overcome all the cliches and stereotypes.

Im definitely going to go for it when she comes back, now I just need to forget about her for a little while.

intrepido
01-10-06, 04:31 AM
Okay, so maybe she's an 8 on the 1-10 Friends/Lovers scale. How about that?



That sounds about right, for all intents and purposes.

When were together I do make sure not to do overly friendly things and keep the relationship somewhat steered or based on girl-guy, but its hard to not be her friend when we have so much in common.

What do you mean also by the longer the guy stays in the friend zone the less chance hell have of being with her? I find that a lot of those things are cliches, me and her are more or less letting things build up, as I see it.

Im going to do something abou this situation in the wintertime whether its just talkin to her about things or giving her a kiss so that way ill know something more.

She talks to her friends about me, and they really like me, theyve told me that, so that could be another sign. I dont know though, I just want to know something so thats why I gotta give her a kiss or talk to her openly about things (in a smooth/romantic fashion) during her winter vacation.

What would u say about the signals she has given me, like the looks, way she talks/treats me differently and how she compares me to her father and says theres not many men out there like me? Could she be intimidated or afraid to get involved with me and ruin her perception of guys if something bad happened between us? I mean, if she thinks so much of me, like I really know she does, would it be reasonable to assume that she is afraid of getting her heart broken and her opinion of guys soured? cuz she thinks Im a good guy and if I hurt her then shed be real upset?

Have u been in a situation like this? Thanks!

intrepido
01-10-06, 04:38 AM
Intrepedo

From what you've written she's crazy about you! You're crazy about her! Her friends fancy you and if her friends fancy you she'll start to fancy you more. They've been drooling over your photos, even the blurr ones.

Your 6' 5'' even if your face was deformed you have a clear advantage. The girl likes you man!!! But YOU must do something soon. I'm 6'3'' and girls have told me my height has made it a bit intimidating for them to make the move.

You must do something soon before she starts convincing herself you're not interested in her as a GF and ye head into the 'Dreaded Friends Zone'** Worse still some other guy comes along and she falls head over heels in love with him and comes to you for advice.

If you think she is the 'one' and ye may be too young for marriage etc. Dont worry. Go out with her for a while, get to know her. Ye can always break up and have a break from each other until your both older and have been with other partners.

Don't however make excuses for not making a move and live to regret it for ever more






** Copyright of Gigabitch, all rights reserved. Patent pending


HAHA, Whats this copyright business all about?

King Zarathu
01-10-06, 04:50 AM
Yeah, derm, you're forgetting one thing. Gigabitch belongs to me, and therefore I own her. Thus, you need to make it a copyright of Zarathu.

Gigabitch
01-10-06, 09:46 AM
Yeah, derm, you're forgetting one thing. Gigabitch belongs to me, and therefore I own her. Thus, you need to make it a copyright of Zarathu.

Oh, hush up. You are my bitch and you know it.

As for the thing about being friends and eventually getting stuck there, I think for most people, it's true. She seems to be keeping the door open for you, though. I think she's just waiting for you to be ready. You sound really careful- I think that's a good thing. Maybe she does, too.

King Zarathu
01-10-06, 10:00 AM
Oh, hush up. You are my bitch and you know it.
Don't make me pull out the whip.

Gigabitch
01-10-06, 10:03 AM
Don't make me pull out the whip.

Oh, do I have to beat you again? Couldn't we just skip it for tonight?

King Zarathu
01-10-06, 10:05 AM
But I like it....

Gigabitch
01-10-06, 10:07 AM
You are wearing me out.

King Zarathu
01-10-06, 10:45 AM
Then it's your turn. :evil:

intrepido
03-10-06, 07:18 AM
WHAT HAPPEND TO MY POST!!?!:surprised

When you read this Id like you to note the duality of man, as it applies to this situation. I was shot back in time in a heartbeat to when I realized that something with the girl I had just met should not be pursued in the realm of boyfriend girlfriend because of many factors, no matter how perfect things seemed to be. Things like me being too old 20 and 23, her needing to have the most fun she can have in life, a physical relationship at that point possibly screwing up a long lasting meaningful relationship because of stupid bs such as thinkin of her as only an object if we got together and never gettin the chance to get to know her better etc. "Its funny u say that" is becoming a worn out phrase when we talk. Now the duality thing I referred to is that, yea Id like to be with her, I mean shes an attractive woman, that I really like as a person also etc. I feel that theres really no way eliminate thoughts of physical intimacy between two attractive people who have similar interests and personalities, its just nature..... Anyway..... I did something yesterday that I am really proud of. If you recall I was crazy about this girl right from the start because shes just perfect for me and I feel me for her. She came back from college for a few days, the other day and called me to see if we could get dinner or "icre cream" haha cute. So she had me meet her mother and everything, we got dinner and then went to see a movie nearby. During the movie she leaned into me and put her head on my shoulder so I looked over kind of surprised and remembered instantly what I thought that first week after meeting her; that she is amazing, funny, beautiful, smart, clever, same sense of humor, the list goes, and that she at least feels the same way to some degree just from how she acts BUT because of how I feel and felt about her on an emotional level, we cant be together, at least not right now, and that at least right now is very tentative because maybe not ever.

So she lifted her head up and leaned in to kiss and I raised my head up and kissed her on the forehead. Ill never forget how she lookd at me after that, almost like she was gonna cry but she seemed to be in awe, and had smiling eyes. Then we went back to watching the movie with her head on my shoulder. It was an amazing feeling, Ive been in a different world all day.

Im kind of ashamed I let my whatever u wanna call it, sexual drive, search for happiness, relationship, romance, whatever....get in the way of my better judgement and instincts. If u remember I wrote her a song knowing full well how horribly that could be misinterpreted. When I wrote her that song I noticed she was acting funny before she left for college, distant and quiet, shes never quiet haha...and she needed some strength. The only thing I hoped was that she would continue to be in my life, because I didnt think I would have been workin the same job after that one summer and if we didnt keep in touch we might not see each other very much. Everything has really worked out between us in the best possible way.

This whole thing has really made me think about how Ive approached dating too. I would be very picky and sometimes not aggressive enough because I was always lookin for something special, I always figured it was out there so why not find it? Its out there though but not right now, right now its time to cultivate relationships with many women. I would have punched myself in the face a few years ago if I said that but dating more women than I was in the past will really make me appreciate how special that one woman will be when I find her, if I havent already and it will also provide other experiences, reduce some stress in my life haha and a myriad of other positive things. I used to think that is what assholes do, try and get with as many women as possible, and its true a lot of assholes do, but Im not an asshole, nor do u have to be one to date many women. I mean why not? Itll be fun instead of having a serious girlfriend for a few months every two years haha...Its not a perfect world, and it doesnt have to be. Look out ladies here I come:evil:

King Zarathu
03-10-06, 07:23 AM
Dude, good job. If I was a female you'd have me tearing up. That was really a great story. Kudos to you, my friend.

Mathias
03-10-06, 07:29 AM
You are my new semi-hero, intrepido.

King Zarathu
03-10-06, 07:34 AM
You are my new semi-hero, intrepido.

**** that, he's a full, blown out, badass.

Gigabitch
03-10-06, 11:48 PM
Oh, my Gyver! He's on a mission!

intrepido
04-10-06, 07:49 AM
haha...

I was going to tell her about how I felt but didnt and we havent spoken since. I was going to tell her beforehand about how I felt and what I wrote the song for but thought that she wouldnt believe me because I DID write her a song and that must mean that I have a crush on her. That was NOT the reason though and at this point I think she, well I dont know what she thinks actually. I think she thinks that I really care for her, about her as a person and not her as a beautiful sexy girl.

Point is I knew about her right away, knew who she was, where she came from and where she could go, but she was in a precarious time of her life, right before college, afraid of leaving home, afraid of what could happen and vulnerable. I saw her vulnerability and how she could be taken advantage of by people because she has such a good heart. She told me once that shes very confident but not confident all at the same time and thats exactly how I saw her as someone with a huge heart who gives everyone all she has while being scared to do that and just doing it anyway. Some people didnt understand this at the office and thought that she was full of herself and some guys would try and take advantage of her and talk badly. These are all things I didnt want to tell her, she doesnt need to know what unimportant people think of her, because they dont know a damn thing. I knew her, and I knew that I wanted to see her have the best life and this was a turning point for her where she needed someone to watch out for her. I like to think people can really help one another by their actions and I like to think what I did helped her, but I dont know if it actually did, she may have just thought I had a crush on her. I thought she was the most incredible creature I had ever known, thats not really having a crush, as I see it. I called her an angel in the song, that was the one line chorus thingy "a real live angel....her name was danielle" ;) Shes defnitely an angel, she brings smiles to peoples faces and lights up any room shes in with her energy and the fact that EVERYONE didnt realize that was mind boggling to me!!! I mean, I call em like I see em, Im a deep person and can see people for who they are right away but not everyone can do or does that. It really amazed me that there were people that thought differently about her so I felt that she needed protection or someone to look out for her. An angel, yea, some people just dont appreciate things like that, not being able to see that she is an angel is something that I dont understand, shes not my angel, shes everyones, so long story short is that there was no crush involved, a crush implies something different.

Anyway, what do u guys think about this...like should I tell her this stuff? about why I wrote her the song and what it means....(The only selfish aspect of writing the song was that I hoped to have in her in my life in some form. That she would remember me and we could stay in touch)

Thanks!

Gigabitch
05-10-06, 12:08 AM
I think you should explain fully exactly where you stand, because from reading your posts I gather that you seriously dislike being misunderstood.

She's not a blank canvas- she's got her own thoughts going on about all of this. Maybe it would be a good idea to communicate a little about what those are.

rick_001
05-10-06, 12:24 AM
You need to tell her strait out that you have feelings for her. It's the only way you will ever know if you two are more than friends.

intrepido
06-10-06, 06:21 AM
From what happened at the movies that night I think shed like to be more than friends, I mean she leaned in for a kiss, but it may have only been because she thought that I would ditch her if she didnt show some obvious physical interest in me as it sounds as if she has been screwed around with by guys in the past. When I didnt kiss her and instead kissed her on the forehead she looked at me awestruck with kind of watery eyes and whatnot and we were in a whole lofty mood the rest of the night.

Her friend told me once that I was dreamy when I was relating a story to her about one of the Scream movies that was on, and how I saw it with a girl who seemed to be pretending that she was scared so she could grope me. Her friend said it was because Im so dreamy. This girl is like youre all-American sort of girl, if that makes any sense, Daddy's little girl. Thing is, her parents are divorced and she lives with her mom who seems to be a lot like her. Ive heard her talk about spanish guys, and black guys and one guy who she was seeing that threatened to slash her tires if she didnt cooperate better, although I dont know what was going on with that story, I think the guy said that he had done that to an ex-girlfriend. Anyway, this girl says that I remind her of her father physically-tall, strong, dark skin (like her) we both have green eyes also, me and her....and she told me another time that I remind her of her father when she called me a dork for drawing a picture for someone in our office and I told her she can call me whatever she wants or something because I am happy to do something that makes someone else feel good even if someone might think its lame. She said "theres not many men out there like you" and "you remind me of my daddy." She also says that her life would be complete if she had a closer relationship with her father.
I think people may project to others what they are missing in life and subconsciously try and illicit that missing behavior from them. For instance, I care so much about this girl, I feel like its my responsibility to make sure she has the best life and to make sure no one treats her bad and to be there for her etc. Oddly enough that sounds like a father figure or even a brother figure, but at the same time shes so beautiful to me. We look a lot alike also, same nose, cheeks, eyes, complexion, build, ahhhh.....

Coming back to my original thoughts in this post...I think she thinks what I think haha....that we are really perfect for one another and its freakin the both of us out. She didnt want me to lose interest as her friend so she felt the need to kiss because guys havent wanted her unless shes "put out" so to speak. But when I kissed her on the forehead there was an unspoken connection that I care for her and would be her friend any day of the week, and being intimate with her is not sometihng thats important to me. I feel that being intimate with someone should only be an expression of two people wanting to be the closest that they can be to one another.

What do people think about the whole father thing? and how her maybe not knowing what shes looking for, in a sense, because her father lived elsewhere since she was 3 (although she sees him all the time), and she doesnt know how a man should treat a woman in a way.

Thanks!

Gigabitch
06-10-06, 06:38 AM
I think she has an ideallized verson of her father in her head because she doesn't remember what it was like to live with him. My concern is that she is also ideallizing you, though it sounds like you have every intention of living up to her expectations.

intrepido
06-10-06, 09:27 AM
I think she has an ideallized verson of her father in her head because she doesn't remember what it was like to live with him. My concern is that she is also ideallizing you, though it sounds like you have every intention of living up to her expectations.

Yea, I hear what you're saying. She definitely seems confused about some things, but who isnt? Shes a trooper, and has the biggest heart of anyone I know. She told me that she is very confident but at the same time not confident at all and that is how I am or was, remember Im now three years older than her. All I ever wanted is for her to have the happiest and best life and to be safe and get through these tough young years with the least difficulties and the best memories, I sound insane I know, everytime I think of her and how I feel I cant believe it. Every time I see her its like I never saw her before because I feel the same way I did the first time, and knowing her and who she is makes it all that much more incredible each time.

She does see her dad all the time but does also come from that broken home atmosphere. Its weird though shes like so strong and because of that she isnt affected by her parents divorce as much as someone else might be. We really are like a perfect match, everything fits and now she told me that her mother is in love with me now also.

I really see this goin far and her being a real big part of my life for a long time and me a big part of hers. Its the purest kind of "love"? for lack of a better word right now because if she finds someone who is a better match for her and makes her happier and everything than Id be in the first row at the wedding. Not that Im looking to get married or anyting, I am REALLY getting ahead of myself now, but who knows. I mean mothers have really liked me before and girls have said very laudatory things about my character or whatever, but this is different and theres a reason that these things dont happen everyday because sometimes things are really right.

Gigabitch
06-10-06, 11:41 PM
BTW, I think you idealize her as well. I hope to God she can live up to your image of her.

intrepido
07-10-06, 01:59 AM
BTW, I think you idealize her as well. I hope to God she can live up to your image of her.

Id have to disagree with u there. I cant speak for her so maybe she is idealizing me with her father or whatever but as for me I many times have tried to find faults in her and thought that this is just a crush and whatnot because Ive been in bad relationships in the past as well. This is a pure feeling that I have for her, and like I said, as long as she's happy in her life I could care less about being with her, she finds someone to make her happy thats all I could ask for. Im not going to say that us being together wouldnt be great but thats honestly how I feel. I dont idealize her, she takes care of that herself. Have you ever met someone that you felt like youve known forever? like you were separated at birth or something, and everything they say is like a page right outta your life or diary? Well thats how it is with her and thats not idealization thats real.

BTW I dont want to sound like a jerk and that Im stuck in my own head here writing off any criticism or comments you have. I welcome them, I really do, it def helps to see other peoples opinions and its actually helping me more to see how I truly feel about her.

Thanks everyone

intrepido
16-10-06, 10:32 AM
Ive never been much of a 'pimp,' so to speak. My game is lacking but I feel good that women find me attractive physically and that women respect me as a good guy with things to offer. Recently however I realize that I would like to act on this interest a little more, like when a girl gives me a deep eye contact stare as we pass each other in a bar and then look over our shoulders at one another, to be able know what to say to her. Thing is Im sure I could do just that especially when girls are definitely interested, talking to people is not a terribly complicated feat but I always felt guilty about approaching a girl who I think is attractive because my goals are self serving and of a seemingly purely sexual nature, in these instances. Thats why when I run into a girl that I like on a bunch of different levels I get kinda wound up and sometimes dont act on it because of the same reason actually, that a surefire way to 'act' on it is to become physically intimate, kiss or something and then possibly send the wrong signal that Im just looking for sex even when I really respect the girl. I feel that guys who hook up with a lot of girls are disrespectful to them for a reason because it makes it easier for them to not feel guilty about only looking for sex. Im not saying Im a saint and that I am disinterested in sex, I am very much interested in it but only from someone special really, or at least thats how I used to feel. I mean, if a girl is sending me signals that shes attracted to me etc Im trying to change my thinking and get over the guiltyness that I may only want to have sex with said girl. I get a reasonably amount of attention from girls and not taking advantage of it is beginning to get me down.
I really care about the girl from this thread but she is away at school and we are not dating by any means, who really knows what our status is. She thinks of me as a father figure and someone that she can trust etc and I see her as an angel but that doesnt mean anything, strange as it may sound. I know shes at least somewhat interested since she leaned in for a kiss but Im not sure exactly what she meant by that, I should ask her, but at any rate I will just continue to build a relationship with her as I care a lot about her.
I began a job as a waiter in a restaurant recently and noticed that one waitress will give me deep eye contact stares when we pass each other more than half the time. Now, our repoir is pleasant but nothing crazy that tells me that she likes me, or maybe there is but Im not reading into that too much. I do think that the stares mean something as it is not something that I notice her doing to anyone else. Ladies....if you look up at a guy with a relatively calm sort of face and give him a deep stare from like 10 feet away until you pass each other what should this guy think?

Thanks!

Gigabitch
17-10-06, 01:51 AM
Um, I think that's called the "come-hither" look. I think she wants you, dude.

intrepido
17-10-06, 03:58 AM
Um, I think that's called the "come-hither" look. I think she wants you, dude.

Haha, yea only reason Im asking is that this sort of thing happens a lot to me. A girl will do that, give me looks and whatnot and I wont act on it right away, Ill get to know her. She'll think Im a real good guy with things to offer etc but wont seem to be as interested in me anymore since I didnt just go in for the kill right away out of a romantic respect, lets call it. Im a bit shy, Ill get looks from girls at bars and wont do anything about it. For a while I just took them as compliments but I guess now I feel like not wasting opportunities, and I know that sounds kind of selfish but maybe Ive earned it.

I suppose I will turn over a new leaf next week and pursue this girl, tell her that she really does have nice eyes and then ask if shed like to get together sometime. I feel somewhat guilty, like I told my friend and she says that she also likes things to be perfect but then winds up missing out on things while she waits for the perfect times. Guilty about pursuing this girl just because I think shes pretty, Im sure shes a great person too, I guess Ill find out. I think Hollywood and the Disney studios have ruined me with romance haha.

Gigabitch
17-10-06, 09:06 AM
Ugh- you're SOOOO under control at all times, aren't you? If I were Come-Hither Girl, you'd be driving me NUTS. Loosen up- make a mistake or two, do something spontaneous and wacky.

Go buy a motorcycle. You need it.

intrepido
17-10-06, 09:23 AM
Ugh- you're SOOOO under control at all times, aren't you? If I were Come-Hither Girl, you'd be driving me NUTS. Loosen up- make a mistake or two, do something spontaneous and wacky.

Go buy a motorcycle. You need it.


Haha yea Ive always wanted a motorcycle. :D

and yes I am usually a cool cat kind of orderly and whatnot, I want to be a doctor. The girl who this post was started over was doing the same thing as "come-hither" girl what with the stares and all. She would literally walk right into me so wed bump each other and come-hither girl has done that kind of stuff too. I guess those kinds of girls just want you to take them, sweep em off theyre feet, so to speak. Ill get the hang of it one of these days, its good to have someplace to talk about this kind of stuff btw.
:D

Gigabitch
17-10-06, 09:27 AM
You must be really, really, ridiculously good-looking. Like Derek Zoolander.

intrepido
17-10-06, 11:46 AM
You must be really, really, ridiculously good-looking. Like Derek Zoolander.

haha, funny movie...i dunno, sometimes I think girls are intimidated by me cuz im also 6'5" and whatever so they expect me to do everything like sweep em off their feet etc. But like I said Im kind of shy and like things to be perfect, I need to be more spontaneous, I can be sometimes, I also dont want to come off needy, I dont mind being alone I actually prefer it sometimes and definitely prefer it to non-meaningful relationships "good company or no company" so maybe I dont push for things with girls because of that also. Like Im not going to ask a girl more than once or twice to do something, even if she is legitimately busy, it would have to be her turn to ask me. Thats what happened last year, that girl was busy two times I asked her to do something but she then set something up me with me herself. Ive been in relationships with bitches and its not something I will be doing anymore.

Whats ur story anyhow? just curious I am not online hitting on u, but ur a funny and nice character, just thought Id ask

vashti
17-10-06, 11:52 AM
ooh! The ridiculously good looking 6'5" man is hitting on you, Giga!

intrepido
17-10-06, 12:05 PM
ooh! The ridiculously good looking 6'5" man is hitting on you, Giga!

hey now! take it ez there vashti:D

vashti
17-10-06, 12:08 PM
I will act as Giga's agent. Please send me your photo so I can see if you measure up. Nothing but the best for Giga...

BTW - how old are you? I hear she might be looking for a new poolboy.

Gigabitch
18-10-06, 04:54 AM
I will act as Giga's agent. Please send me your photo so I can see if you measure up. Nothing but the best for Giga...

BTW - how old are you? I hear she might be looking for a new poolboy.

Just don't get into a slap fight with my other agent, or self-appointed pimp, Derm.

My story... Long story short: I got divorced almost a year ago, got viciously burned rebounding with a horrible man and am now trying to pull my exploded life back together, including trying to get my ex-boyfriend from pre-husband times back while putting on a brave face for my eight-year-old.

I do AutoCAD drawings for work, and get away with spending a ridiculous amount of time screwing around on the internet.

intrepido
19-10-06, 08:54 AM
I need to get a picture on this internet so Im not so incognito:mask:

ok that girl is coming home again this weekend for not even a full day and she wants to see me. I feel that she wants to start a relationship maybe. She calls me a lot and sends me text messages and other messages on the college facebook network. Lots of messages haha. I want to tell her how I feel I think, or at least tell her what I wrote that song about and what it was supposed to mean. Like how I couldnt believe she was real and how she had the most beautiful eyes and smile and that i loved the way she tilts her head back when she thinks somethings real funny as shes laughing and the stories she tells.

But more than anything else how no one else seemed to really notice how amazing she was, the girls kinda thought she was spoiled or into herself (which shes def not into herself, but maybe shes a little spoiled haha) I think she tells her stories to bring smiles to peoples faces, theyre kinda dorky sometimes but she tells them well and really puts herself out there to do it. It makes me feel good that I know how amazing she is and not that shes just pretty. One guy at my office, a real douche bag, actually told me that he didnt even think she was pretty but that he liked her butt cuz its big.

Anyway, like I said, its hard for me to believe that people can know her and be around her and not think shes the most amazing girl theyve ever met. Whenever Im around her I cant help but smile all the time its crazy haha. So yea, I think Im gonna tell her what that song was about and maybe a little bit about how I feel. I think she might feel the same.

Gigabitch
20-10-06, 01:51 AM
Okay, just make sure she didn't see the movie Just Friends and think you've worked up a version of "When Jamie Smiles".

I'm kidding. But kind of not.

And, yeah, I think you should spill it- tell her what you're thinking about with her. She's given you plenty of signs.

Mathias
20-10-06, 01:59 AM
Okay, just make sure she didn't see the movie Just Friends and think you've worked up a version of "When Jamie Smiles".

I'm kidding. But kind of not.

And, yeah, I think you should spill it- tell her what you're thinking about with her. She's given you plenty of signs.

Oh dear God.

I actually saw that movie with my best friend. She said that if I ever was going to profess my undying love to her, that I'd HAVE to sing that song.

intrepido
20-10-06, 06:01 AM
Okay, just make sure she didn't see the movie Just Friends and think you've worked up a version of "When Jamie Smiles".

I'm kidding. But kind of not.

And, yeah, I think you should spill it- tell her what you're thinking about with her. She's given you plenty of signs.


Yea, I think all the signs are there I think Ill talk to her about it this weekend when she comes home.

Whats that movie about? I havent seen it, when jamie smiles?:surprised

Gigabitch
20-10-06, 11:42 PM
Yea, I think all the signs are there I think Ill talk to her about it this weekend when she comes home.

Whats that movie about? I havent seen it, when jamie smiles?:surprised

Maybe you two should rent it together. It's a cheesy movie about a guy that was in love with his best friend in high school but wasn't very attractive. Ten years later, he's Ryan Reynolds (allegedly attractive- meh) and he ends up back home and wacky hijinks ensue.

When Jamie Smiles is the song another guy writes for the girl to try to get in her pants.

It's not a great film or anything. It's like a bag of Cheetos, actually, but it's funny.

intrepido
21-10-06, 12:40 AM
Maybe you two should rent it together. It's a cheesy movie about a guy that was in love with his best friend in high school but wasn't very attractive. Ten years later, he's Ryan Reynolds (allegedly attractive- meh) and he ends up back home and wacky hijinks ensue.

When Jamie Smiles is the song another guy writes for the girl to try to get in her pants.

It's not a great film or anything. It's like a bag of Cheetos, actually, but it's funny.

Oh I see. You think I should clarify that the song I wrote for her was entirely different reasons than "getting in her pants. I think Ive written why I wrote the song on here...when I wrote it I knew she might take it like I have some silly crush on her and either think its cute or be uncomfortable. I really just wrote it because I hoped that we would stay in touch and that shed be in my life because having her in my life in any way shape or form is a great thing. Ive never been in this situation before and thing is cynical people will say that its cuz I want her or no one could just want to have someone in their life without wanting something 'else' from them blah blah blah, ya know? but thats really the truth and I think she knows that by now. Shes at college now, she said one time that she was out grocery shopping and that she was upset cuz she forgot to buy herself flowers so she was gonna have to go back out so I said "theres no guys buyin u flowers? guys should be buying YOU flowers" and she laughed and said that the guys at her school are all silly and she would die laughing if some guy at her school bought her flowers. It seems to me that she doesnt really want to be in a relationship with anyone at school at least, and Ive been in a long distance relationship before which didnt work but the girl wanted to have an open one, which I wasnt for at first since we were together for so long but now I wouldnt be opposed to it. Im def thinking too much about this but I really like talkin about her haha and theres no one to do that with without them thinkin im nuts.

That song was about how she was the most amazing person really, that Id met in a long time if ever, we were so alike in the deepest of ways that not everyone would even notice on the surface. Being thats who she was Id be her friend anyday, I am her friend. I think someday we'll just get so close that things will happen between us but thats not what this is about ya kno? If she finds someone she loves Id be so happy for her as long as shes happy cuz she deserves it. But for the time being, Im not even sure if I should tell her what the song was about. Im definitely not going to just bring it up outta nowhere to talk about but I may mention it if something comes up that could be an easy segway ;)

Anyway, Ill see her in a few days! thanks all

Gigabitch
21-10-06, 07:18 AM
You type so much.

Lazy ass. Are you drunk already?

intrepido
22-10-06, 12:57 PM
You type so much.

I know, I figure I need to to get my point across in a satisfactory way. I did feel that by typing so much each time people would become discouraged from reading and responding to my posts but we here at loveforum.net have dilligent love gurus like giga, derm, vashti and the list goes on, who give their all to see love through to its beautiful fruition. And for them I am thankful;)

intrepido
27-10-06, 05:43 AM
Back to the problem at hand...

This girl has told me so many times how much her mother likes me and we only briefly met for a half a minute. Ive had mothers like me before so I didnt think that much of it but I just think about this girl all the time and the fact that she probably feels the same way about me but we cant be together because it may mess up a real good thing or we should just wait for the perfect time and it will be amazing then. I asked her why her mother likes me and she said its cuz im tall dark and handsome and funny. Now, one of the things I love about her is that shes straightfoward, as am I, at the risk of sounding hypocritical or painting her as that also while we dance around our true feelings for each other.

Could this and all the other hints shes given me be just that? hints that she actually does want for us to be together? I mean, there was that whole kiss initiation in the movie theater, if u remember where I decided to tilt her head down and kiss her on the forehead instead. We havent talked about that but I dont want her to think the wrong thing.

I remember one time she said that everything shes gotten in her life has been because of her butt, meaning that she has a nice figure and guys have taken advantage of her or are extra nice to her. Now, her butt is nice, ya kno its fine but it really is the last thing I notice about her, there are much nicer butts out there as well. As much as I want to be intimate with her at the same time its like I dont want to or dont care at all because Id almost rather just sit next to her on a couch or talk to her and make her laugh. I dont want her to ever think that Im more interested in her sex then her as an amazing person but at the same time I feel that I may be pushing her away from me by not doing something about it if she is indeed interested right now in a physical relationship as well. The forehead kiss was how I really felt at the time but now I think I may have effectively pushed her away sorta.

I think what I really want to do is take her out dancing one night. I dont really dance much, but I know she loves to and I would love to dance with her. Anyway...

Gigabitch
27-10-06, 05:47 AM
I mean, there was that whole kiss initiation in the movie theater, if u remember where I decided to tilt her head down and kiss her on the forehead instead. We havent talked about that but I dont want her to think the wrong thing.

The forehead kiss was how I really felt at the time but now I think I may have effectively pushed her away sorta.

...

Okay, my girlfriends and I call this "the dreaded third-eye kiss". I've never had it, but I dread it nonetheless. it says, "You're my sister." loud & clear.

Sooo... when you take her dancing, are you going to give her the "You are NOT my sister" kiss? Hmmmm?

intrepido
27-10-06, 06:09 AM
Okay, my girlfriends and I call this "the dreaded third-eye kiss". I've never had it, but I dread it nonetheless. it says, "You're my sister." loud & clear.

Sooo... when you take her dancing, are you going to give her the "You are NOT my sister" kiss? Hmmmm?

Haha, o boy, I dont know....

I think I should. I def think too much about things, try to make sure the right things are done etc. and all it effectively does is waste my mental energy and get me nowhere. Thats not the idea, I do the things I do cuz its what I believe to be right but I wind up not taking care of myself and thats no good either. I look at it like, if I dont do it who will? I know that makes me sound nuts but its how I feel usually.

After this winter chances are that I wont really see her for a long time as Ill be going back to school up in Boston starting in the summer, the next time shes home and wont be around til the fall of the following year, when she will be starting her senior year, and after she and I graduate from this round of schooling who knows where we'll wind up. I dont want her to not be able to trust me, like I said, and think that Im only after that one thing but I think she does trust me and wants something to happen between us also.

I thought it was a good thing, the third eye kiss... I get the feeling that she is sick of guys takin advantage and being assholes so I dont want her thinkin that about me, but meanwhile I bet she wanted me because she already knows Im not an asshole and shes said herself that "theres not many men out there like me" calling me a man at 23 when shes 19, still sounds weird as she talks about guys as boys, whenever Ive heard her. I mean, maybe this really is what I should be doing at this very time or soon. ;)

Gigabitch
27-10-06, 06:16 AM
..........or you could just think it through 97 more times. Jeeze Louise.

intrepido
27-10-06, 06:22 AM
..........or you could just think it through 97 more times. Jeeze Louise.

ahhhhhh! ur are a funny cat, i like u....

YEA, if I didnt think she was the most amazing person in the world ;) I wouldnt be having such a problem, but Im actually starting to feel less nervous about the whole thing, and less like I might screw the whole thing up, what with looking objectively at the situation and all the things that have happened.

Thanks giga

Gigabitch
27-10-06, 06:27 AM
ahhhhhh! ur are a funny cat, i like u....

YEA, if I didnt think she was the most amazing person in the world ;) I wouldnt be having such a problem, but Im actually starting to feel less nervous about the whole thing, and less like I might screw the whole thing up, what with looking objectively at the situation and all the things that have happened.

Thanks giga


You're fooling yourself if you think that's possible. You are cautious to a fault.

intrepido
27-10-06, 06:34 AM
You're fooling yourself if you think that's possible. You are cautious to a fault.

Well, I figure that I can kiss her without a problem, and whatever happens happens. Basically I think I just want to kiss her without saying anything and then she'll either say nothing and smile or something or she'll say this isnt a good idea which I would be given the perfect opportunity to really tell her how I feel about her.

intrepido
27-10-06, 07:15 AM
Well, I figure that I can kiss her without a problem, and whatever happens happens. Basically I think I just want to kiss her without saying anything and then she'll either say nothing and smile or something or she'll say this isnt a good idea which I would be given the perfect opportunity to really tell her how I feel about her.

what do u think i should do love doctor? as u can see im lovesick, i need a prescription in the form of advice:upset:

Gigabitch
27-10-06, 07:23 AM
Sit down and put your arm around her. If she leans in to you- kiss her. If she pulls away, don't. Simple.

Then play "When Jamie Smiles" for her.

j/k

intrepido
27-10-06, 07:26 AM
Sit down and put your arm around her. If she leans in to you- kiss her. If she pulls away, don't. Simple.

Then play "When Jamie Smiles" for her.

j/k


Yes...that is simple

Gigabitch
27-10-06, 07:27 AM
Yes...that is simple

I am sure you'll do your best to complicate it considerably within the next 20 minutes, but I won't be here to see it. It's time to go home for the Giga.

intrepido
27-10-06, 07:41 AM
I am sure you'll do your best to complicate it considerably within the next 20 minutes, but I won't be here to see it. It's time to go home for the Giga.

no i wont! thanks giga

intrepido
30-10-06, 02:44 AM
I found out that the girl told our mutual friends at the office we worked at about the song I wrote for her and that she thought it was cute. I dont think the girl is interested in a relationship with anyone right now, at least for the most part. She says that all the guys at her school are silly and that she would die laughing if she got asked out. She treats me very well, the way she talks to me and compliments me. What I find also is that we have so much in common and one of the things I really like about her is that I can really be myself withouth feeling like Im "showing off" like my cousins say and whatnot. I always had the feeling that people were jealous of me for whatever reasons, my cousin tells me all the time that he actually was, now that were older and we get together for drinks every so often. This girl said something, I forget what, and I told her that shes good at a lot of things and that she reminds me of myself....knowing that is a relatively arrogant thing to say. Thing is I know Im not arrogant and I hate feeling like I have to not live to the fullest in certain ways or situations because people will resent me for it or be jealous. People in the office were jealous of this girl when she first started there, thats what it was when the girls shes friends with now told me that they didnt like her when she started, they were jealous cuz she has a self confidence about her. I have that same thing but for a while I consciously suppressed it so as not to push people away, but with her, she totally understands.

Ive been given every hint in the book I feel, from her. She loves tellng me how her mother and friends love me and that her mother and her where tryin to figure out a way to describe me and what they came up with was tall dark handsome and funny. Her best friend told me that "Im dreamy," also that "Im awesome at life." Now I dont know what the hell all thats supposed to mean necessarily, I dont want to sound on here like Im being arrogant, Im just relaying the things that seem like obvious compliments and or hints that the girl really respects and likes me. Theres so many things we have in common but I feel like all of them can be boiled down into just one thing, that I can not as of yet find a suitable term to describe. But whatever that one thing is we both share it. I was told by a few friends, one of whom is mutual friends of mine and hers, to just go with the flow. That is what I planned on doing anyway and I think since all these other things have happened going with the flow will lead to something between us.

Im a very rational person too. Ive thought of the possibility that I am just imagining that she feels the same way about me and have concluded that I really do feel that she does feel that way about me. I dont hope or expect anything from her but for her to have the best life and if she finds someone that can give her that, sees her for all of her wonderful qualities and love her with all their heart then I would be really happy for her. Shes only 20 years old, and Im 23 so we are both still very young, its just exciting to actually have met someone that is so amazing. Im very picky and she checks all the boxes and then some.

intrepido
31-10-06, 11:40 AM
I found out that the girl told our mutual friends at the office we worked at about the song I wrote for her and that she thought it was cute. I dont think the girl is interested in a relationship with anyone right now, at least for the most part. She says that all the guys at her school are silly and that she would die laughing if she got asked out. She treats me very well, the way she talks to me and compliments me. What I find also is that we have so much in common and one of the things I really like about her is that I can really be myself withouth feeling like Im "showing off" like my cousins say and whatnot. I always had the feeling that people were jealous of me for whatever reasons, my cousin tells me all the time that he actually was, now that were older and we get together for drinks every so often. This girl said something, I forget what, and I told her that shes good at a lot of things and that she reminds me of myself....knowing that is a relatively arrogant thing to say. Thing is I know Im not arrogant and I hate feeling like I have to not live to the fullest in certain ways or situations because people will resent me for it or be jealous. People in the office were jealous of this girl when she first started there, thats what it was when the girls shes friends with now told me that they didnt like her when she started, they were jealous cuz she has a self confidence about her. I have that same thing but for a while I consciously suppressed it so as not to push people away, but with her, she totally understands.

Ive been given every hint in the book I feel, from her. She loves tellng me how her mother and friends love me and that her mother and her where tryin to figure out a way to describe me and what they came up with was tall dark handsome and funny. Her best friend told me that "Im dreamy," also that "Im awesome at life." Now I dont know what the hell all thats supposed to mean necessarily, I dont want to sound on here like Im being arrogant, Im just relaying the things that seem like obvious compliments and or hints that the girl really respects and likes me. Theres so many things we have in common but I feel like all of them can be boiled down into just one thing, that I can not as of yet find a suitable term to describe. But whatever that one thing is we both share it. I was told by a few friends, one of whom is mutual friends of mine and hers, to just go with the flow. That is what I planned on doing anyway and I think since all these other things have happened going with the flow will lead to something between us.

Im a very rational person too. Ive thought of the possibility that I am just imagining that she feels the same way about me and have concluded that I really do feel that she does feel that way about me. I dont hope or expect anything from her but for her to have the best life and if she finds someone that can give her that, sees her for all of her wonderful qualities and love her with all their heart then I would be really happy for her. Shes only 20 years old, and Im 23 so we are both still very young, its just exciting to actually have met someone that is so amazing. Im very picky and she checks all the boxes and then some.


Basically I cant decide whether I did the right thing by not kissing her and wonder if she will understand now if I do try and kiss her on my own....We never spoke about that night, nor about the song or anything really along those lines....ah this is driving me nuts, I think I made the right move that night and showed her that I really like her as a person and not just a beautiful girl so Im probably just thinkin too much as usual... I guess the balls in my court as far as furthering any sort of physical relationship between us...Ill just play it by ear.

I feel that she was waiting around for a while for me to make a move on her, but thats not really my way, especially if I really respect someone. I guess all of those hints were just that.

Gigabitch
31-10-06, 11:56 AM
So, you talked yourself out of it again, huh?

Hmmmmmmm.......

intrepido
31-10-06, 12:28 PM
So, you talked yourself out of it again, huh?

Hmmmmmmm.......

Itd be easier if she was around...shes at school until the winter time so I am stuck thinkin about all this:upset: Ill see her a few times at least when she gets back so Ill have more than one opportunity to do something about all this.

We talk on the phone and the internet once in a while but I dont want to say anything over the phone, it has to be an action on my part this time.

Gigabitch
31-10-06, 12:31 PM
Yes, some action might be a good idea.

intrepido
01-11-06, 12:04 PM
Yes, some action might be a good idea.

So I asked my sister about the situation and she said well she obviously likes you and doesnt want to get in a relationship because she is away at school.

Which is what I thought all along, this will be a great love story

intrepido
05-11-06, 01:51 AM
I have sort of a new development....the girl instant messaged me the other day and her message had something about her friend cheering her up so I asked why she was upset. She didnt want to tell me, said it was some stupid girl problem but eventually told me about how she sent some pictures of her from halloween in her costume to this boy from home and he said that she only looked aight in them. She looked amazing first of all. This guy and her have been hooking up every so often since high school, now shes a sophomore in college and she said that she always had the "upper hand," which she liked. Then she told me that she wanted to prove something. I aksed her what and she said that she wanted to prove that she could make him fall for her and so she told him how she felt, which seemed like an extension of them hooking up for so long and she wanted to have it mean more. She said that after that, he basically got the upper hand, Im guessing that he didnt have much to say back to her (probably enjoys hookin up with her and not much more). The guy basically now blows her off whenever he feels like it cuz he knows that she is trying to prove something.

NOW...I ask you this....she didnt offer this information freely, I wanted to know why she was upset because I dont like knowing that shes upset about anything, and she offered it up, and not right away also. I bet if I didnt continue to ask she wouldnt have said anything about her guy troubles. So Im flirting with this friend zone crap, and later on that week I left her a cute message with this inside joke we have that compared her to sunsets and breezy autumn days:D and she responded back later that "im succccchhhhhhh a good friend and that i cheer her up sooooooo much" This was after we had talked in between and she kept thanking me for talkin to her about it and everything.

I still arrive at the same kind of problem where I dont know if I want to try anything with her because I love her as a friend, and I think she may actually love me too, she certainly talks and acts like she does. The main thing Im afraid of is that shell think that Ive been trying to take advantage of her, being her friend to get close to her which is not the case at all. I bet that guys have done that to her in the past. My saving grace for her trusting me is that, well she really should be able to trust me and mostly that I wrote her that song early on in our relationship so she must know or at least suspect that I like her as well, even though the song was about her as an amazing person and about us keeping in touch and watching out for her.

What do you guys think I should do? tell her about the song? and what it meant? or might that edge me further towards the friends only zone? I mean, I feel that we could have had something right away with the way she would look at me and touch me etc but it would have probably of been short lived cuz we wouldnt have already been friends. Its also not like we just became friends through continual contact, we were friends right away pretty much, because were a lot alike. Its like I love her, I think shes the greatest person alive, but I also cant help thinkin shes also the most beautiful girl Ive ever seen. Beauty is also in the eye of the beholder but for me shes it. I havent always taken advantage of situations, Ill sit back and wait for perfect moments but shes given me so many signs that seem like shes really into me. Anyway, what do you think?

Thanks!

Gigabitch
05-11-06, 01:39 PM
Oh, you already know what I think. I think you think too much.

Kiss the girl. Confess it all. Take a risk. Exhilirate yourself.

intrepido
09-11-06, 08:33 AM
Oh, you already know what I think. I think you think too much.

Kiss the girl. Confess it all. Take a risk. Exhilirate yourself.

Giga- I rememberd what you said about the dreaded "third eye kiss" on the forehead, and that the girl may think, oh no, he thinks Im his sister afterwards. Well, I thnk thats what Ive successfully accomplished here but its good to know that she does probably like me, at least as far as all signs tell.

I think in the very beginning she wanted me and was giving me these looks and bumping into me but since I didnt act on it she stepped off. Why is it that girls do that? They want a guy to just pick them up? when they dont really know much about them? sounds wrong but anyway shes coming home again this weekend and told me she wants to see me again.

Could that have been what happened though? since I didnt just take to her right away, even though I felt very strongly for her after knowing her for only a few minutes, could she have just thought that I didnt like her and not to waste her time? I dunno, she seems to waste her time with other guys that she doesnt really like, because she wants them to like her, and fall for her. She actually said that once that she wanted to prove something that she could make this guy fall for her and shes said that she doesnt like it when someone doesnt like her, she meant all people there but still.

So my main question is that, hes just not that into you thing, that book I read about. I know we would be amazing together, and she probably does too so Im gonna step it up soon enough.

Thanks all

intrepido
14-11-06, 12:22 PM
so the girl told me that this guy she had seen on and off for a while is outta the picture. She was upset one day, I asked her why and she was hesitant to say but she finally said that this guy wouldnt tell her that she looked good in some pictures and that he blows her off etc. Basically she said that they were hooking up for a while, she wanted more and he didnt pretty much and she was tryin to save face.

Now, she tells me a week or two later that "Rememeber that boy I told you about from home? I havent spoken to him in 2 weeks, ever since our conversation. I just thought you would be proud of me."

She also called me after midnight during one weekday last week to just tell me that the main character in a book she was reading dies at the end and she was upset she felt like I was the only one she could talk to about it. She wasnt really upset obviously.

I just dont know if she is giving me clues that she wants to take this to the next level anymore. Things have gotten so complicated that I cant tell or make anything out. She told me once when I was tellin her about a friend of mine and how he wanted me to introduce him to a girl I knew that it was the guys job to approach the girl etc. Now from that statement it would seem that she always expects the guy to make the moves, especially in the beginning. How would you interpret that? Things have gotten so confusing but maybe she is waitin for me to make a strong move?

Gigabitch
14-11-06, 12:37 PM
Things have gotten so confusing but maybe she is waitin for me to make a strong move?


Oh, for God's sake, we're ALL waiting for that. Would you please make a move? Every time you bump this thread, I think you're gonna say, "I kissed her! She loves me!"

Hurry up, already. Life is short.

intrepido
26-11-06, 01:56 PM
Oh, for God's sake, we're ALL waiting for that. Would you please make a move? Every time you bump this thread, I think you're gonna say, "I kissed her! She loves me!"

Hurry up, already. Life is short.

So I guess she has a boyfriend now, some little kid who knows...I blew it big time- I just saw that she is in a relationship on an online college network page so she doesnt know that I know? I guess....ah I suppose I should still try and do something when she comes home but she probably will not be receptive, who knows though.

Faint heart never won fair lady though so I should really do something about this. I sort of think that what I originally feared with this girl is true, that she goes after guys for poor reasons and they usually wind up messing with her, she has even said that that is a fact and that her mother does the same thing. I sort of felt that also she wasnt all that terribly attracted to me because she knows I would take care of her and that Id probably be good somewhere down the line, like Ive been told before but for now its time for these girls to shake their stuff for some douchebags.

Any advice on how I should approach this? Im going to play it like I dont know she has this boyfriend, we should be together, we would be great together. Im sick of easy girls and short term things Id like to see where we could go together.

Gigabitch
26-11-06, 03:24 PM
Okay, this may come as a surprise from me, but I think you should wait. That kid won't last long. None of them ever do, right?

You just don't seem like the kind of guy who would go after someone who's spoken for, and pretending you don't know about him is beneath you. Next time you see her, have a great time together as usual. Give her ten new reasons to choose you.

intrepido
27-11-06, 12:33 AM
Okay, this may come as a surprise from me, but I think you should wait. That kid won't last long. None of them ever do, right?

You just don't seem like the kind of guy who would go after someone who's spoken for, and pretending you don't know about him is beneath you. Next time you see her, have a great time together as usual. Give her ten new reasons to choose you.

Im glad you said this...last night I was just a little down when I found that out because it was the last thing I would have expected but yea I doubt this guy will last long. Her and her mother seem to mirror each other in a lot of ways. Her mother just recently broke off an engagement to her spanish boyfriend because hes not educated and basically not good enough for her, or so her daughter told me. They were supposed to break it off altogether but theyre still seeing one another, kinda weird, basically because she cant find a truly better man (to quote pearl jam). So the girls new boyfriend is spanish as well, shes a spanish major in college for no reason imparticular other than that she enjoys spanish. I guess thats as good a reaons as any but the girl really is all over the place with some things.

She tells me all sorts of things she wouldnt tell anyone else, just things about her and she always says she doesnt know why shes tellin me those things but I guess she feels a strong connection to me. She told me the other day that she thought id find it interesting that when she got her mail that day, her father had sent her a pablo picasso print of don quijote, her favorite spanish novel that shes been so enamored with. She called me real late one nite when I was in bed to tell me that she had finished the book and was so upset that don quijote dies at the end, and that Im the only one she felt she could call about this. I happened to be in Macys a few days later and I saw a shirt with a don quijoe drawing printed on it and some other stuff, I knew she would love it so I got it for her and was goin to give it to her when she came home, but we missed one another, I had plans the nite she could hang out and worked the rest of the weekend so I wound up giving it to her yesterday folded into a crate of fruit with bananas, oranges and apples because she told me she was sick. She lives near my job so I went over there before work but no one was home. I left a funny note that is on par with our similar senses of humor and she really loved it and I was just feeling real good about that when I found out that she now had some new boyfriend.

The funny part is that I got the shirt for her and then she told me that her dad had sent her that picture, but she didnt know I had the shirt when she told me that she thought id find it funny that her dad sent her that, now why she thought id find that funny beats me but she has said that the only thing missing in her life is a closer relationship to her father. Now im not her father or am trying to be her father. All I wanted to do in the beginning was look out for her and make sure she would always be ok, she didnt need another guy tryin to use her, shes a little but flirty so im sure she has guys tryin to take advantage of her all the time but thats not what she needed or needs. My feelings just continue to grow over time and I think hers for me as well so everything is really very good, all these postings in the meantime were just silly speculations. I think she likes having a boyfriend and the fact that her mother dates and that her father wasnt really there when she was growing up def seems to play a part in that as well. Anyway yea Im goin to just continue being there for her because I care for her, the love thats growing between us is something that could not have grown if I was to have made some brash move right off the bat last year, thats just not how it works. Thanks again for ur advice giga

intrepido
28-11-06, 09:48 AM
o boy so the girl sent me a message that her life was a big mess and that she needs to talk to me because i am her voice of wisdom.

So we talk today and it turns out that the boy shes now in a relationship with she dated for like two weeks in high school and when she was home for thanksgiving he asked her out. Her dilemma was that she said yes thinking that her feelings would resurface but they didnt and she feels absolutely nothing for the kid and doesnt know what to do.

She also told me that shes been cryin all day and doesnt know whats wrong with her because every guys hes dated shes only dated for about two weeks, the longest being a month. We got to talkin about this book, and long story short she says she wants to be light forever and not heavy, and I told her that its ok to be afraid of being hurt but u dont want to miss out on things cuz of it, cuz living a heavy meaningful life and having those experiences is what makes life worthwhile.

Basically this girl is clueless Im finding out and I dont know if its such a good idea to pursue her. I think it might be better to just stay her friend, because she now has told me many times how great a friend I am. I got sucked in remembering back to what I originally thought about her, how I could tell she was clueless right off the bat and I felt bad for her in a way. I think thats part of who I am to try and help someone in need and maybe thats not the best reason to like someone.
I dunno guys, lemme know what u think about this one.

intrepido
30-11-06, 07:03 AM
Okay, this may come as a surprise from me, but I think you should wait. That kid won't last long. None of them ever do, right?

You just don't seem like the kind of guy who would go after someone who's spoken for, and pretending you don't know about him is beneath you. Next time you see her, have a great time together as usual. Give her ten new reasons to choose you.

yea, none of them do, is what I thought but now I have it right from the horses mouth taht the longest relationship was a month and now this story about just sayin yes to this kid cuz she at one point when she was in high school and probably less attractive/wordly, kind of liked him enough to go out for a week or so. JEEEEZ....

I feel that just about any guy taht asks her out shell go out with cuz maybe she wants to have a boyfriend, is insecure about herself, wants to be taken out, or all of the above. I bet that she hasnt ever really asked any guys out herself and the guys that ask her out she just goes with and then finds out in a few days that she doesnt like them at all or finds a small thing she doesnt like any gets rid of them. I actually remember hearing her talk about some guy she dated who she lost interest in because he drove his car with one finger sometimes. Now thats absolutely crazy, in my opinion. I dunno, the girl seems to think the world of me, and always has right from the start so maybe I should make a strong move with her. Its weird because I have a few girls that Im seeing right now, two to be exact and that number always changes, but this girl I want to look after and some part of me really cares for her and wants her to do well and be happy and I dont know if thats a good reason to be involved with somoene but it seems like it is....

intrepido
02-12-06, 02:53 AM
I dont know what Ive been thinking, I love this girl and that doesnt really come along all that often. Whats even crazier is that I thnk she feels the same way about me, even though shes young and by her own admission confused about a lot of things in her life right now, I cant let her just slip on by.

intrepido
13-02-07, 06:42 AM
to revive an old thread...

When my friend came home she invited me to her friends parties several times and to her new years one cuz she claims that all of her friends from school really wanted to meet me and would be disappointed if they didnt. I felt obligated to stay at the restaurant i work at to be with a waitress i was seeing at the time on new years, and dont really regret that i did that.

So over her christmas break we had a few lunches and dinners always turning into several hour long affairs at the tables...at sushi one afternoon they had to ask us to leave because the cooks needed to eat. :D We went to the city to see a spanish painter art exhibit which was a great time, from the train ride in with the crazy lady to the security guards keeping us from getting too close to the paintings, to how much louder and happier we were than anyone there, to playin spy games in the parkin garage back home, we had a great time, and shes told me since that it was one of hte best days shes ever had in her whole life.

She works at the office we met at while shes home for break and one day wont stop tellin me how nice the shirt Im wearing is and keeps on petting it and touchin it, it was just a navy blue form fitting thermal underwear type shirt. So im like ok thats nice but didnt think too much about it until she sends me a message that nite on the computer about how she "didnt want to sound skeevy at work but i looked so good in that shirt today." I think she always looks beautiful so I reciprocated and she says "haha we are SO awkward." Now theres been times when she calls me her best friend, times when she calls me her father, her mother, her hero, and the list continues. I mentioned once how I need to find a 35 yr old woman wiht a condo in hawaii to be with as a joke and she says that we have to make a pact that if neither of us is married by the time were 30 then we get married. All taht stuff is nice and I do think that she means it, but it can be construed as friendship kind of talk...but the i looked so good in that shirt thing is her tellin me i look sexy. When her mom was apparently obsessed with me, from waht she kept sayin I asked her why and shes like "well cuz ur like none of my guy friends...ur so tall dark and handsome and my mom thinks ur so funny, which she loves witty guys."

So she inevitably leaves again for school and we get back to talkin on the phone and on instant messenger, but I try to limit conversation to keep things more interesting. She tells me about her first ski trip and how she almost fell off a cliff;) and about all her classes and I am just really happy htat shes doin so well and is so happy. She tells me shes comin home on a thursday and asks if i want to catch a movie or something, so we have plans for that nite. She also asks me for my address cuz shes sending me something and in one of these conversations seems to lay it on the line for me? but i dunno....she was just sayin how she isnt interestd in any guys right now, any of the guys she used to be interested in she isnt anymore, if somoene asks her to hang out she tries to avoid that, and hint to them or outright tell them shs not interested. BUT she then says to me "Brian if I may be awkward for a minute...youre the only guy who I would regret not dating....ur so fabulous." I respond witha tahnk you or something and change the subject, but a few minutes later she says it again..that she really meant what she said before. She also said that she knows shes crazy and that she would "never want to subject me to her craziness"

The only reason I am here telling this story is because, first I like talkin about her:D second I wouldnt mind peoples takes or opinions on what is happening. and thirdly I just wanted to look out for her while she had a good time in college, did well in school and grew up fine etc. but now she seems to really want to be with me, and if that is the case I dont want her to think that I dont want her...or do i? as a question...maybe I should just continue treating her like a princess, my little sweetheart, I mean thats how I feel about her anyway...

What does everyone think?

Gigabitch
27-02-07, 11:24 AM
Nobody ever posts in your thread but me. Too lazy to read, maybe.

I have some thoughts about this girl:

I think you should keep treating her as your little princess and let her grow up a little. If she actually thinks she's crazy, maybe she'll actually get herself to therapy at some point and her therapist will help her to until that big ugly knot in the apron strings she's got going on. What I mean by that is that this girl is waaaaay too entangled with her mom and their relationship sounds a little more buddy-buddy than mother-daughter.

This probably feels safe and good to her, and she probably thinks that all of her problems are daddy problems. They aren't. She is going o have to deal with her mom issues before she can grow up and have an adult relationship.

Never tell her this. In fact, don't ever criticize her mother for any reason because she will turn on you like a crazed ferret. (Not that you would- a nice guy like you with sterling manners would rather slam his fingers in a car door than dis her mama, I'm sure) If SHE ever says bad things about her mother, just answer her with good things about herself.

"But her relationship with her mother is great!", you say. I disagree.

That's just a small part of what I think's going on with her, though.

That girl needs focus. Fortunately, she doesn't sound particularly self-destructive, or I'd be really worried about you. I'm not, though. I think you're going to end up together.

intrepido
28-02-07, 11:51 PM
Yea, I too think that shes perhaps a little too buddy buddy with mom. Mom leads an interesting dating life....She just broke up with her most recent boyfriend WHO had recently gotten out of jail for the second time for dealing heroine. My friend told me that her moms really happy, she just broke up with her jungle mongrol boyfriend. The two of them spent christmas and christmas eve in his apartment in the city...she called to tell me how it was kind of weird cuz all these good looking russian people just showed up for dinner and the party and she felt out of place so she went in another room etc but she later found out from her mother that the beautiful blonde russian women were all call girls. Her and her mom spend all their family time together because she has no family, and shes said that shed love to one day marry into a nice family to spend holidays together. In fact she told me about her mothers dating life and how her parents had disowned her twice, once for dating a black guy and after takin her back again because of some guy that they didnt like who wound up committing suicide while they were dating. And sure enough we were at the park one day and her grandparents were out for a walk and they didnt even acknowledge one another, (they live around the block) Her only other family is her father and his family, of whom she hates her stepmother and the way she thinks shes so smart and treats her dad and the daughters she tells me are spoiled brats.

Everyone I talk to about this girl tells me to stay away and forget about her but I cant because I know her and know that we care for one another and always will, which is rare. I meet girls all the time, take some of them out, but no one in as long as I remember has come close to her and sometimes I cant even figure out what it is about her that makes me feel the way I do. (btw, I finally got some pictures up on my comp, we were talkin a while ago about that).

Just recently I sent her a subscription to Time magazine and when she got the first issue she first called her dad thinking it was definitely him then her mom and then I got a call at 8 am, and she sounded so happyand was laughing:D That kind of stuff makes me feel like nothing else.

I wouldnt want to even risk losing her in my life so despite all the signs shes given me I wont make any moves on her. She was really in my head when she was tellin me how good I look in certain clothes and tellin me that shes not interested in any guys but she would regret it if we didnt date cuz im great, and tellin me that she really meant it. I wasnt sure if I should do something then and if I didnt she would be hugely turned off, but I dont think that anymore. I think I love her, I was in love once but this is something much much more so maybe that first time wasnt really love. Anyway...

whats ur take on all this mom business and whatnot?

Thanks again!

Gigabitch
01-03-07, 01:48 AM
It pisses me off that people are telling you to stay away from her. Just because she has a messed up family situation doesn't mean she's going to turn out all messed up. She'll have to work at it, but it sounds to me like she craves stability and wholesomeness.

She reminds me of myself.

Don't give up on this girl.

One thing you have to understand (and she'll have to get it at some point too) is that you can't actually fix this for her. She has to do it. I think she really looks to you to provide what her family does not, and ultimately, she'll find it in herself. I know you want to be her hero, but what she will need more than that is just a good man. I think you're up to the task.

intrepido
01-03-07, 02:16 AM
yea, exactly my sentiment on the fact that just because she has a messed up family situation doesnt mean shell turn out that way. BTW, ur very very nice to keep replying to this thread:D

Also what do u mean she reminds u of urself?


I think she likes having me in her life...im sure she doesnt treat everyone the way she treats me, and say the things she says to me to everyone. The way she dates is like her mom, or at least she talks like that...the longest relationship shes had was 3 weeks, shell go out with a guy for a week and then break up with them, maybe because she doesnt want to be broken up with herself so she beats them to the punch...or maybe because no guy really treats her the way she feels she should be treated. I think the latter is more how it is. BUT her mom for instance dated a black guy and she used to have a thing for denzel washington and terrell owens and said how she wanted to have a black boyfriend. Another time I heard her talkin about how her mom has a new boyfriend, a spanish guy (who turned out to be a real uneducated and unsuccessful guy-they actually got engaged for a week until her mom broke it off, even though she was real excited about it at first, then she thought that the guy wasnt good enough for her) and this guy that my friend liked for a while was this spanish guy...who didnt seem to really have all that much goin for him other than the fact that he was spanish :surprised

You can tell when someone is just being flirty or nice and says that they think ur the best or even things more complimentary than that but when she says those things its like she wants to say much more. That in addition to how ive caught her lookin at me, and posturing herself etc, makes me think that she wants to keep me interested but not have anything right now because she wants to see what else is out there and doesnt want to get involved and wind up either hurting me or having me hurt her.

She tells me about the guys that she used to like and how they ask her to hang out etc but she has no interest and also how she thinks physical relationships are pointless and can never ever kiss anyone if she doesnt feel something BUT it doesnt seem like thats entirely true... I know for me when I become intimate with somoene that I dont really like all that much its like being with a doll or something and maybe thats how it is for her... She seems to have been with people for purely physical reasons and has brought up many times about how shes ran into guys shes hooked up etc...doesnt like anyone at college but has this film class of about 10 people and in that class there are two guys she used to hook up with...something doesnt really add up. Could she be tellin me about guys because she thinks that ill be more attracted to her for it? she has to know that the more guys u talk about uve been with the less attracted that will make a guy, like me anyway, others may see her as easy and go for that.

Also when I first met her I thought she was amazing but was hesitant because she seemed outgoin and happy but at the same time sad and confused, and very easily impressionable, maybe its just her youth. But she said those exact things to me once at dinner unprovoked...she was analyzing herself and said that she is very confident but at the same time not confident at all.. What does that mean?

Gigabitch
01-03-07, 05:16 AM
She reminds me of myself because I also come from a really crap family situation and my mother is a bit sex-obssessed as well.

She tells you about her hook-ups, etc. because she is a compulsive confessor, wanting to lay it all out there because she abhors lying, feels guilty about her actions, and most of all, really wants you to know her and love her anyway.

For a long time I always had to date the pretty guys, even if they were losers. I understand that. She'll grow out of it. She's not just into you for your looks- don't worry about it.

What is confidence, really? Does it ever go all the way down to the core of someone? It's how we present ourselves to the world, and I think most of us are plagued by doubts and fears now and again. Feel honored that she's showing hers to you- I'll bet she doesn't do that very often.

I wish she weren't so very, very young. She's got a lot of growing up to do before she can be in the kind of relationship you're looking for.

intrepido
01-03-07, 10:57 AM
what makes someone sex-obsessed? I dont know if her mother is sex-obsessed or not, all I know about her divorce is that the two of them "are both really cool people but dont get along at all." She tells me that her mother likes guys who are tall dark and handsome, smart/witty and funny. BUT she dates all these dudes anyway...why is that?

It could also be partly her daughter tryin to play games with me through her mom...like shes told me that her mom and I should date...would tell me that her moms obsessed with me (maybe just to give herself a reason to tell me some stuff that she likes about me without actually having to say its coming from herself, thus eliminating her chance of getting burned) told me that her mom was makin me a valentine and that we were goin to be valentines, then asked me to be hers as well so "I could have the whole family"

As for tellin me about guys shes hooked up with, maybe shes tryin to sound desirable by tellin me that other guys desire her or does want to be very honest with me cuz shes lookin for someone who really will love her no matter what...She does like that sex and the city quote about finding someone that loves the u that u love and that being great and all, but that seems like a generic girl thing to say, who knows though.

I dont know if she does just date the "pretty guys" maybe some. For her it seems like when a guy asks her out she has a tough time saying no so as not to upset his feelings, but not with every guy, some though according to how she talks and other times i think she wants to be desired by an attractive guy so she herself feels more desirable. I dated girls before just because they were hot but not for long, except one because I felt bad for doing it.

I find also that I am hit on, approached and plain flirted with by older women whether they be in their late 20's mid 30's or even older. (I am 23) At the risk of not sounding like a vain jerk I wont get into anyone ive been with from this lot and or the things they say about me etc but just want to elucidate a point about more mature women knowing waht they want? Theres a very cute waitress I work with, were buddy buddy and I feel that shes attracted to me and I am to her, we tease and joke and laugh etc but she tells me about some of the guys she gets with, one who comes into the restaurant one nite after shes tellin me all the time how he doesnt call her unless its 2 am and is lookinfor a booty call, hell send her a text message and shell respond! So im thinkin this guys gotta be something else, so he comes in and hes like 5'3" 130 lbs with a 50$ haircut, tanning salon skin and big fake diamond earrings, real piece of work. I had to laugh to myself. Near where he was sitting there was a very pretty woman sitting with what turned out to be her mother and apparently they were noticing the interaction between her and this guy and asked after he left if that was her boyfriend. She said "no not really," and they replied with "well good! u should get rid of him and date that tall waiter" (Shes tellin me this btw, she always tells me what her female customers say about me) She tells them tho that she doesnt date at work and they say back to her "oh its ok, ur young, u can make mistakes but that doesnt seem like itd be a mistake to us!" Just another seeming example of this young girl syndrome possibly? another thought in this paragraph was that I think Im a good looking guy, strong, tall, cute, etc might I be too accessible? for her anyway...

I also have thought that she wants someone who she thinks measures up to her in all aspects, but not right now since she just wants to be young and if we were to get together and break up htat would mess up her whole learning curve, since she seems to hold me in high regard and if it didnt work out with me she would be lost

I really appreciate ur correspondence, as these ramblings hold very little gravity as to how I feel for her, but they do help ease my mind a bit and also I have an avid interest in psychology and sociology, Im studying to be a doctor, I have an avid interest in a lot of things. How i feel for her is like she is my great friend, somoene that I have been charged to look after and to see through any troubles she may have. Even before I heard her speak the way she looked at me the very first time told me how spirited she was. I know from personal experience that wide-eyed optimism and lust for life and all that it has to offer can be chiselled into by events that happen to us during the course of our lives and it takes time to regain that viewpoint again. This is something that I could not and will not ever see happen to her, ill be her crutch if she is injured and see her safely on her way always...and thats about the best way I can put it, I am no poet. She reminded me of myself instantaneously, I had some hardships and they bogged me down for a bit since I kept things inside etc but I will never let that happen to her. She is young but she is also doin so well and thats more than I could have ever hoped for in her. When she started hinting at a more serious relationship is when I became restless, I would not sully such a beautiful relationship by attempting a physical/sexual advance on her, other than picking her up which has happened already cuz its fun to give her big hugs! haha

intrepido
08-03-07, 07:05 AM
Sometimes Ive wondered why I like this girl so much...I think it is because she has some problems...or seems to have them anyway. We all have problems but since she seems to have had a rocky growing up maybe and seems a bit confused, impulsive and impressionable I feel that makes her more attractive to me, because I know shes great and want to help her.

The way she looked at me the first time we met was really something... but maybe she looks at everyone that way? every guy, maybe she treats all possibly elegible guys in the same way, even those that arent elegible, just to make herself feel attractive. Shes said that she "likes to be wanted, but doesnt like having a boyfriend" or at least not for now. So does she just like hookin up randomly with guys? doesnt seem very ladylike or meaningful...I cant really make sense of her because she tells me that she could never kiss someone unless she felt something for them.

Im starting to think that she acts in a certain idealized way of herself, for the most part, to me and then just does things that would contradict how she makes herself appear to me, when Im not around, or doesnt tell me about those things. Im not like that.

Its actually sort of frustrating because women compliment me all the time, I work at a restaurant, a law firm and a hospital and at the restaurant specifically I am bombarded with sometimes borderline lewd things from women patrons. The women at the law firm are always askin me about girls and dates I go on and want to fix me up with their daughters and with girls in the office. But usually Im alone and its because I cant really see myself getting too into a relationship based on physical attraction only, with the possibility of it going somewhere being very small. Im not a jerk that will lie to girls and be overly aggressive to get sex. I feel like I should act more often on things with women because I have so many opportunities while others may not have them, and I would feel like I am wasting them.

I dont know...I dont have to be lonely is what im saying but I will be if it means only goin out with a girl to pursue sex. Every so often I will have a month where I will get a few numbers, call them all and take a few different girls out but they never work out for me because Im just not that into the girls, and theyre all pretty, relatively interesting and nice, but I see myself there only for sex and that means only for myself, even tho they might be there for that too. I think thats why I like this girl so much because I am there at least evenly for her and myself if not more for her. I love to see her smile and know that shes ok and all...Is this ****ed up or am I just crazy?

Gigabitch
08-03-07, 09:00 AM
You know damned well you're not crazy. You want validation? Okay:

You're a good person with strong moral values who cares deeply about someone.

There.

The rest of this shit, you just need to let go. I also think you might want to work on your boundaries with casual strangers.

intrepido
08-03-07, 09:18 AM
You know damned well you're not crazy. You want validation? Okay:

You're a good person with strong moral values who cares deeply about someone.

There.

The rest of this shit, you just need to let go. I also think you might want to work on your boundaries with casual strangers.


What do u mean work on my boundaries with casual strangers?

Gigabitch
08-03-07, 11:54 AM
You mean you don't mind all of these people at work nosing into your personal business? I was a waitress for a long time, and I would have been furious if my customers were trying to set me up with people.

You must be really friendly. Not me. I am a bitch.

intrepido
09-03-07, 07:05 AM
You mean you don't mind all of these people at work nosing into your personal business? I was a waitress for a long time, and I would have been furious if my customers were trying to set me up with people.

You must be really friendly. Not me. I am a bitch.

Theres this mother daughter pair that comes in the restaurant and says things about me and a fellow waitress at the restaurant...shes a beautiful girl, flirts with me all the time, tickles, undoes my apron, shoulder rubs, but she dates jerks, from what she tells me...and its not surprising, it really seems that a lot of girls date assholes in an attempt to change them or because they are overly aggressive and that turns them on. Thing is, seems to me like these same girls change their way of thinkin when they reach about 26-27. She has asked me about hanging out a few times outside of work, shes a sweet girl too, but thats besides the point..

At the bar there ive been with a 35 yr old woman who told me she was married but it was ok cuz her husband cheats on her too and im not too proud of that but i dont let it get me down, she was sexy and thats that, thats all she wanted and she made it clear, i dunno it sounds contradictory to what ive said but thats that. Theres always women at the restaurant saying very nice things to me so that doesnt bother me but its sort of frustrating to know that women think of you that way but you dont act on things certain times because of morals.

At my other job its the middle aged women tellin me how cute i am and all that and embarrassing me and a few of the young girls in the office by sayin we should date. Also sayin how they cant believe I dont have a girlfriend and generally thinkin very highly of me. I am friendly and its not a fake friendly either like a guy i work with who thinks hes a pimp or something. This guy tells me that he could "bang" everyone in the office, and tells me that i could to, all ya gotta do is treat them like sex objects and every so often throw in a nice comment or a nice act and then go back to acting the other way. Then theyll try and get that nice response from u and ull have them. Now this has worked on one girl in the office after 3 years of him trying, and now that theyre broken up for good, after a bunch of arguments, break ups and drama, shes told me that he would bust in his pants before he even got them off and all this haha. Thing is though, he would go around the office and trick the girls into thinkin he was a nice guy and all, and I would watch it and want to ****n kick the shit out of him, and if he ever gives me a chance I will. Thats another thing about being aggressive, smaller less capable guys will be aggressive so they can get a girl while Im 6'5" 245 lbs all muscle and dont need to be aggressive because of my size, so its sort of a double edged sword where I dont know if girls realize that. At least not younger impressionabe girls.

I guess mainly my problem is that I feel like I am not living up to my potential for who I am in terms of women, and that gets me down sometimes. With this girl itll be years before anything ever happens with us but Id bet a million dollars that I dont have that shell come to me one day and want to be together.

Charlie Boy
09-03-07, 10:46 AM
For christ's sake intrepido this is the eigth page. Just stop thinking about yourself and move on.

anachronistic
09-03-07, 10:59 AM
For christ's sake intrepido this is the eigth page. Just stop thinking about yourself and move on.

You're too new here to bitch like that.

Charlie Boy
09-03-07, 11:10 AM
ohhh what's the matter Lilly Wing? Still a little upset that I called out your bullshit story?

Gribble
09-03-07, 11:10 AM
Why does everyone gang up on Charlie Boy? Just because his mom gives freebies at the brothel is no reason to disrespect.

Charlie Boy
09-03-07, 11:12 AM
YEah I am just trying to spread the love and all these haters want to hate on me. Where is the love?

anachronistic
09-03-07, 11:14 AM
ohhh what's the matter Lilly Wing? Still a little upset that I called out your bullshit story?

Haha, as if I give a **** whether or not you believe me.

Charlie Boy
09-03-07, 11:21 AM
No one with half a brain would believe a story like that.

anachronistic
09-03-07, 11:29 AM
No one with half a brain would believe a story like that.

:oriental: *waits for more nonsensical bullshit*

I'll be abrupt (again), I don't give a flying **** if you believe me or not. Get your panties out of a bundle and stop making such a big deal about it, for whatever reason have you.

intrepido
09-03-07, 11:29 AM
No one with half a brain would believe a story like that.

whats this story about?

intrepido
09-03-07, 11:32 AM
For christ's sake intrepido this is the eigth page. Just stop thinking about yourself and move on.

I post here every so often, took a break for a while but giga is nice enough to respond with some good advice so why the prodding?

anachronistic
09-03-07, 11:34 AM
I post here every so often, took a break for a while but giga is nice enough to respond with some good advice so why the prodding?

Ignore him. He thinks he's hot shit. Gigabitch is a valued member here on the board. This thread is far too large for me to get involved with the advice-giving, so continue to stick with Gigabitch.

Charlie Boy
09-03-07, 11:36 AM
whats this story about?


A girl he *allegedly* ****ed in the back of his car. She sprayed pussy juices like a cut artery. All over the back of his car, all over his homework his clothes - everywhere. His clothes were still "soaking wet" by the time he got home, so wet, in fact that he had to make up a story to his mum about being assualted by a gang of youths and pushed into the gutter. She didn't believe him though because the smell of vagina was so strong. The backseat of his car was still wet days later.

Charlie Boy
09-03-07, 11:40 AM
I post here every so often, took a break for a while but giga is nice enough to respond with some good advice so why the prodding?

It didn't seem like you were moving forward so I thought it was time for some tough love.

intrepido
09-03-07, 11:51 AM
It didn't seem like you were moving forward so I thought it was time for some tough love.

haha true...well i appreciate it then :D

But its just this story with this girl...im not pining over her, theres a handful of other ladies...its not like that with her. Id more like to understand her, see her through tougher times, and see her happy. Its as if she sees us together down the road, and I do too, or can at least, and we are seeding a romance.

And with this post its up to 9 pages...

Charlie Boy
09-03-07, 11:54 AM
Are you sure you don't just have a knight in shining armour complex? My mate has been out with a string of headcases because he likes to try and "take them away from all this". The last one drank half a bottle of toilet cleaner when he broke up with her.

intrepido
09-03-07, 12:16 PM
Are you sure you don't just have a knight in shining armour complex? My mate has been out with a string of headcases because he likes to try and "take them away from all this". The last one drank half a bottle of toilet cleaner when he broke up with her.


Are you sayin ur friend did that? or the girl...I dont have a complex of my own volition anyway...i just hear those types of things all the time, not really knight in shining armour things but lots of nice things and compliments all the time from women, so maybe ive started to develop an inflated ego in my head. Every girlfriend ive had has talked about marriage and I dont know but maybe I fit that sort of stereotype.

This girls not all that crazy shes confused at best and seems to like to play games or isnt ready for anything right now. Weve become best of friends and have great times together so I cant complain.

What do u mean exactly by a knight in shining armour complex? I feel that everyone should be a sincere gentlemen to women. I dont want to make it sound like this girl is a derelict tramp that lives in a crack house, basically she and I are very good for each other but no one wants to make any sudden moves to risk losing one another, is what I feel.

Charlie Boy
09-03-07, 12:28 PM
Whoa! Gigabitch I am not. I've exhausted my advice giving for today.

But before I go, Knight in Shining Armour Complex: you are attracted to the idea of rescuing the girl not the girl herself. Doing all this stuff for this down and out girl fulfills some need in you. It might make you feel noble, moral, a "good person" especially if you feel like you are knocking back other offers - making such a "sacrifice"

"What a good guy I am" is a theme you have articulated in varying forms in post after post in this thread.

Also you seem to enjoy the drama and the constant analysis otherwise you wouldn't expend thousands of words on the topic. Anyway the point is you must be getting something out of this arrangement otherwise you wouldn't persist with it.

For example, I am sure my mate subconciously seeks out lame ducks because trying to rescue them makes him feel like a good person and in his mind makes him feel like he's making up for other areas in his life where he might not be acting so nobly. I also think he likes the drama of dating these headcases. Anway that's him, I'm not saying your complex has the same root causes (if you have it).

Charlie Boy
09-03-07, 12:29 PM
the chick drank the toilet cleaner.

anachronistic
09-03-07, 12:31 PM
Whoa! Gigabitch I am not. I've exhausted my advice giving for today.

But before I go, Knight in Shining Armour Complex: you are attracted to the idea of rescuing the girl not the girl herself. Doing all this stuff for this down and out girl fulfills some need in you. It might make you feel noble, moral, a "good person" especially if you feel like you are knocking back other offers.

"What a good guy I am" is a theme you have articulated in varying forms in post after post in this thread.

Also you seem to enjoy the drama and the constant analysis otherwise you wouldn't expend thousands of words on the topic.

Anyway the point is you must be getting something out of this arrangement otherwise you wouldn't persist with it.

For example, I am sure my mate subconciously seeks out lame ducks because trying to rescue them makes him feel like a good person and in his mind makes him feel like he's making up for other areas in his life where he might not be acting so nobly. I also think he likes the drama of dating these headcases. Anway that's him, I'm not saying your complex has the same root causes (if you have it).
I went through the knight in shining armor phase with my last girlfriend. It's gone down a lot through all the shit she's put the ship through. Haha, relationshit.

Charlie Boy
09-03-07, 01:01 PM
So who gave me even more negative rep points on this thread? I've been nothing but a gentleman. I'm looking in your direction Lilly Wing.

What do they mean anyway? Do you get kicked off the site if you get too many red marks? I have managed to collect quite a few in my short stay here. Every one of them is like a bee sting on my soul.

anachronistic
09-03-07, 01:09 PM
So who gave me even more negative rep points on this thread? I've been nothing but a gentleman. I'm looking in your direction Lilly Wing.

What do they mean anyway? Do you get kicked off the site if you get too many red marks? I have managed to collect quite a few in my short stay here. Every one of them is like a bee sting on my soul.

Negative reputation points don't really mean anything. This is because loveadmin posted the # of posts thing over it. So regardless, it really makes no difference. I'm not sure about getting kicked off the site for negative rep points... that's something you should ask loveadmin.

I think it's just a system of popularity.

intrepido
09-03-07, 01:36 PM
Whoa! Gigabitch I am not. I've exhausted my advice giving for today.

But before I go, Knight in Shining Armour Complex: you are attracted to the idea of rescuing the girl not the girl herself. Doing all this stuff for this down and out girl fulfills some need in you. It might make you feel noble, moral, a "good person" especially if you feel like you are knocking back other offers - making such a "sacrifice"

"What a good guy I am" is a theme you have articulated in varying forms in post after post in this thread.

Also you seem to enjoy the drama and the constant analysis otherwise you wouldn't expend thousands of words on the topic. Anyway the point is you must be getting something out of this arrangement otherwise you wouldn't persist with it.

For example, I am sure my mate subconciously seeks out lame ducks because trying to rescue them makes him feel like a good person and in his mind makes him feel like he's making up for other areas in his life where he might not be acting so nobly. I also think he likes the drama of dating these headcases. Anway that's him, I'm not saying your complex has the same root causes (if you have it).

Well, I started this post, first time Ive looked into any kind of group like this to talkabout things, because the girl is real great, not a bad girl at all, but shes almost 4 years younger than me and I didnt think it right to pursue her, but I couldnt help caring for her, I wrote her a song and then she left for school. I really didnt think about her hardly at all, it was nice, I thought. She was in the back of my head as a sweet girl that it wont work out with. But then she started to come around and became interested in me, as far as I could tell, but she didnt want to outright say anything so that made me wonder what was going on, and thats when I started posting on here to ask for advice.

If the theme of this thread has become me, this great guy, saving this poor girl from depravity, then thats only because Ive kept the thread alive way past its time. I thnk im a good guy, I dont need validation although I may have asked for it a few times here but only in typing rants. I felt as if it was wrong to discuss this with anyone, or on here at first but she had me thnkin about her a lot with the way things were goin so I caved. But Im actually goin to say goodbye to the loveforum because I dont think its really right to be talkin about her on here anymore. Thanks everyone for your advice and take care

Charlie Boy
09-03-07, 02:34 PM
I feel like I just borrowed one of Gigabitch's toys without asking and broke it...