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dreamer101
25-02-07, 03:50 PM
Hello people. I hope everyone is going well. I know i've been away for a while, a lot of things have happened, i've moved out of town and now starting a new life somewhere else. but still i've been visiting the site and reading posts regularly, just not fit enough to contribute.

that brings me to my question. if you feel like sharing. Do you remember a time in your life when your self esteem hit rock bottom? A time when nothing went your way..it all seemed grey, and no chance your hopes and dreams would come true?

What was it? What did you do to get out of it? How did you do it? Would you have done something different? Do you think it helped you in some way? What way?

You don't have to share, but I would appreciate it if you could.

Peace.

anachronistic
26-02-07, 01:30 AM
I've been living through my darkest hours for the past 4 months believe it or not.

However, I have yet to disclose details upon this to even the regulars here that I am closest to.

Hey if you need someone to talk to I still have AIM... or you can PM if you want.


edit:

i sorta just went through my darkest hours... they weren't that dark though.

Gigabitch
26-02-07, 01:36 AM
Hi Dreamer,

Yeah, I've been through that, and I have to add that moving is very disruptive to the psyche. if you're having a hard time right now, that may be a contributing factor- usually 4 to 6 months after moving somewhere, the newness wears off but it's not quite home yet. It can be really lonely.

Some things that might help: Get your sleep, eat regularly, even if you don't feel like it, and try to get some sun. Also, forming habits will add structure, and that can help more than you'd think. I used to go to the library at the same time every week, listen to certain radio shows, etc. and it helped with depression.

Are you keeping a journal? You should be. Sometimes you just need to let stuff out, and if you don't feel like doing it here, maybe doing it in a private journal would be of value.

Hope it gets better.

Zach
26-02-07, 05:00 AM
I have been through some pretty dark hours myself sir. I know how low it can go and how painful it can be. The human heart and body are ridiculously durable in moderation.. thats one thing I really came to understand after what happened to me.

Giga gives some great advice.

TDurden
26-02-07, 06:26 AM
Sophomore year of highschool was probably my darkest time. In the span of 3 months I broke up with my girlfriend, my only friend at that school tried to kill himself, and my grandma and cat died two days after Christmas. Then my my suicidal friend found other people to hang out with and I was pretty much alone.

I don't know that there's any special trick to getting through hard times except to to be strong of will and to not let yourself succumb to any sense of sadness or loneliness.

What Giga said about routines is also very useful. Having structure is the best way to keep your mind from drifting to depressing thoughts. Other than that, never underestimate the importance of friends, even casual ones. Having people around always helps to keep your spirits up.

dreamer101
01-03-07, 07:06 PM
Thanks. i appreciate all you guys. fras, I am certain you'll pull through mate, you're made of tough stuff. giga, thats some real wise words, they were very helpful. thank you. you are a gem, anyone ever tell you that?
Zach and Tdurden, thanks for sharing. much appreciated.

i'll keep you's posted. i am now settling into a routine of work - gym - cooking. i find i enjoy cooking once i get started. and i am forgetting the things i need to forget. i also want to keep a journal of all this. i like that idea.

Seducer
02-03-07, 04:06 AM
In my experience I've found hobbies to be very helpful at taking your mind off of depressive thoughts. Try to find something that you really like doing, you'll know that something is right for you when time seems to fly when ur doing it.

Gigabitch
02-03-07, 05:56 AM
I hope you'll check in more regularly, dreamer. I'll be thinking about you.

clynn
02-03-07, 06:56 AM
Yes I have had very dark hours, when I felt very sad.

first, I think feeling bad is part of the whole experience of life. So don't try to artificially feel good or to wish the bad away prematurely.

Only because we have lows, do we have highs.

That being said, make sure to eat and sleep properly. Get out once in a while but take care of yourself and protect your alone time - it will give you time to regenerate and recahrge and work on your own self, and your self esteem.

Helping others is also a good way to start to feel better.

dreamer101
05-03-07, 02:57 PM
Yea definitely Giga, I intend to.

I am doing much better now, as you said clynn, now that I am eating and sleeping properly. And yeah getting back into my hobbies too.
I went back home this weekend, luckily where i used to live is only a couple of hours drive. and caught up with a few friends. so that was good. something i realised though over the weekend. I wasn't even excited to see my friends, not that i normally am but i was very neutral and introverted. which made me realise that i lost something about me. Over the last couple of months. That zest for life which i had. Even they noticed it and asked me if I am regretting moving. I am not. I wanted to do this. I don't know how and why I lost it, but I am going to do whatever it takes to get it back.

Thank you for the positive words you all. You don't know it, but you guys got the ball rolling for me.

clynn
05-03-07, 05:28 PM
Those feelings you are having are normal - the neutral and introverted feelings. Don't think they'll hang around forever either, though.

You'll find joy again in your life! Promise!

Zach
05-03-07, 11:19 PM
After my gf left me I was very quiet and in pain almost all day and night for about a month. I would hang out with my friends and they definitely noticed how I was. They could tell i was very hurt and it was sad to see me they said. None the less they were my friends and always tried to cheer me up.

I know how you felt, I barely could talk for a month. Then my best friend started dating my ex secretly and I found out.

I cant describe how that felt. 5 months later Im still sick and currently shaking with bitterness and sadness.

Today just happens to be a very bad day for some reason.

But lately I have been doing ok, keeping busy and avoiding her and him at all cost to keep my sanity.

Routine does help I know that for a fact.

dreamer101
07-04-07, 09:44 PM
hello guys just checking in as promised. things are going ok. concentrating on work a lot lately, and making plans for the future. but the future is hazy. i've got a routine for most days and most days i stick to it, but its not very productive atm so i am working on variations. the people are also very weird in the town i am in, very threatned by foreigners.
but i still miss her a lot most days. and subsequently don't feel like doing much. but i m sure it'll pass.

hope you guys are ok! peace.

Gigabitch
10-04-07, 12:50 AM
All part of the healing process. Someday, you won't think about her as anything but a memory.

Human beings are so amazingly resilient in some ways.

Gigabitch
19-05-07, 04:24 AM
Bump.

I'm stressed but not depressed.

How's everybody else?

Converse
19-05-07, 04:26 AM
I feel the same Giga, my face feels really hot. Ya know that feeling when ya stressed.

I keep worring about nothing.

Ath
19-05-07, 10:15 AM
The solution to all life's problems.. is simply a puppy.

:)

Gribble
19-05-07, 01:09 PM
This last week I had one, two three, four, five six, SEVEN exams. Five of which were comprehensive finals. On top of that I had a paper due. So yeah. I've been stressing out. I've had five hours of sleep in as many days.

Tonight I rest. Tomorrow I party.

zro
19-05-07, 01:25 PM
i think in general people need to ****en toughen up and suck it up every now and then, i grew up in a warzone and even after the war, i got bashed on a weekly basis for my ethnicity, went to a juvenile home and then rehab - and all this before the age of 16, have i had a tough life?? not really, i consider myself quite lucky, i have a fully functioning body, loving parents, food in my stomach and a roof to sleep under, everyone has bumps and bruises in their life, just be grateful they are not as bad as other poeple's

vashti
19-05-07, 01:30 PM
I think exhaustion as a by-product of physically demanding work is very good when you are feeling blue.

fakebloodisfun
19-05-07, 02:46 PM
i think in general people need to ****en toughen up and suck it up every now and then, i grew up in a warzone and even after the war, i got bashed on a weekly basis for my ethnicity, went to a juvenile home and then rehab - and all this before the age of 16, have i had a tough life?? not really, i consider myself quite lucky, i have a fully functioning body, loving parents, food in my stomach and a roof to sleep under, everyone has bumps and bruises in their life, just be grateful they are not as bad as other poeple's

You can't just disregard other people problems so off-handedly. Each persons experiences define who they are, thus, some people are going to be more affected by events in their lives, even things you deep petty. They may have not known hardships as you describe them, but other things can deeply affect them.
From each to their own.

zro
19-05-07, 03:08 PM
i have had this conversation before with other members, the reality is most of us have had an easy life, some poeple are born with a life sentence or a permanent disablity that most of us cant even dream of handling, some of us have seen things that will make a grown man curl up in a fetal position crying out for your mother, some of us are born into situations that most of us have no idea about living in our civilised werstern culture.

I am not saying that we dont have problems, we do - but whining about it and complain about how hard life is just ****ing stupid, poeple need to start appreciating about what they have and thanking their lucky stars instead of playing the violin

I dont blame people for their way of thinking, i blame this new age sensitive culture where "feelings" are very important and you are meant to always "express" yourself, sometimes you just have to shut the **** up and move on, we as a people are getting stronger physically but mentally weaker, its a shame really, our ansectors (sp?) would be ****ing ashamed at this pussy behaviour

fakebloodisfun
19-05-07, 03:34 PM
Ok, i agree with you there, we do have comparatively easy lives, it's just that the way you express it makes you seem rather insensitive.

I don't agree with you about people expressing themselves though, I can understand not wanting people to whine all the time, but there are other forms of expression. Without those things, such as art, music, we would not have the diverse society we have today, wanting to express ourselves is a fundamental aspect of our nature.

Edit: For grammer

anachronistic
19-05-07, 03:38 PM
every day is pretty dark for me. i barely have a house to live in and i don't get enough food to make me feel satisfied. since i make more money than my parents, i have to support the family by paying a lot of the bills. i can't wait to get the **** out of here.

you know what i got as graduation gifts? laundry detergent, some actual sheets and bedspread for my bed (i have slept on a plain empty mattress my whole life) and soap. i'm thankful for those things, and the rich ****ers in my class get a brand new car, and don't appreciate anything. i'd really like to tell them off. if i got a new car, i'd be kissing feet.

zro
19-05-07, 03:43 PM
i agree that music and art is a good way to "express" yourself, personally thats why i love hip hop, but my point is that our "problems" are not really that hard, i remember a thread where one guy was contemplating suicide over a girl, obviously that is quite extreme, but also in everyday life you see people saying they need therapy "cause my parents got divorced" or "my brother is in jail" or "i cant get a girl/boyfriend".....poeple are so quick to declare that they need "mental" help, when most of times they actually dont need it, they just need to suck it up

on a side note, therpaists these days are making a killing and are the biggest rip off since elvis presley, they get paid a $100/hour for talking some common sense

and if i sound insensitive, you are probably right

anachronistic
19-05-07, 03:50 PM
if someone is going to kill themselves because of a stupid-ass boyfriend/girlfriend, they don't set high expectations or goals for themselves.

fakebloodisfun
19-05-07, 04:10 PM
It is such a sad thing that people feel that they require outside help, let alone paying for it. The best thing you can do for yourself is help yourself by being positive and looking on the brighter side of life. And if that doesn't work, that's what friends are for.
Therapists and psychologists, as you say zro are ridiculous. Therapists are not going to be able to do anything more than a good friend can, and psychologists will just give you drugs and say the problem is solved, without delving into the actual root of the problem.

zro
19-05-07, 04:30 PM
glad to hear someone on this board agrees with something i say

anachronistic
20-05-07, 12:15 AM
i see people who want to kill themselves as very inexperienced.

Converse
20-05-07, 03:17 AM
It is such a sad thing that people feel that they require outside help, let alone paying for it. The best thing you can do for yourself is help yourself by being positive and looking on the brighter side of life. And if that doesn't work, that's what friends are for.
Therapists and psychologists, as you say zro are ridiculous. Therapists are not going to be able to do anything more than a good friend can, and psychologists will just give you drugs and say the problem is solved, without delving into the actual root of the problem.

You don't know what you're talking about. People who want to go and see therapists etc don't want to talk about stuff to their friends, they want to see some one neutral who wont judge and will guild them through stuff, they may not feel like talking to friends about personal things. Yes I know talking to friends about stuff helps but some times it's just not enough, friends may be biased where as a stranger wont judge.

Are you trying to say people with real mental problems don't require drugs or therapy to help them? Therapy is about getting to the route of the problems. Who are you to say it's a sad thing to seek help? You're so wrong there. People who are really depressed can't just "look on the brightside" or "cheer up".

People like you with rosey out-looks on life haven't a clue what they're talking about and haven't been through shit, will you "cheer up" if something really bad happens? I doubt you've had any life exprience, espcially to say that.

Ath
20-05-07, 11:56 AM
Just for reference, Psychologists are unable to prescribe medication. That's Psychiatrists.

Couseling Psychology is a non medical degree.

vashti
20-05-07, 12:22 PM
glad to hear someone on this board agrees with something i say

Actually to a certain extent, I agree with you, too. I think the problem is that we - as a culture - have been conditioned to think we should never feel uncomfortable, and when we do, we imagine it is literally unbearable.

However, I see no real harm in seeking the help of a therapist now and then, assuming a person doesn't become reliant on them for extended periods of time.

fakebloodisfun
20-05-07, 04:23 PM
Just for reference, Psychologists are unable to prescribe medication. That's Psychiatrists.

Couseling Psychology is a non medical degree.

My bad, I got them mixed up.

dreamer101
28-05-07, 04:51 PM
boo.

i just felt like dropping in and saying hi.
glad to see this thread carried forward. hope everyone is doing ok.

hope your not stressed anymore giga. :) if it doesn't kill you it only makes you stronger right?

Gigabitch
30-05-07, 03:35 AM
Dude, I AM stressed today.

I want my ex-husband to fall down a well, but he just won't.

And yet, life is good.

Converse
30-05-07, 03:50 AM
I'm really happy but really drained and stressed, work phoned me up at 8.30am telling me I was meant to be in at 8, I was not meant to be in today at all, I wasn't even told I was meant to be in, but I went in any way got there at 10. Aghhh! Oh well lotsa cash!

anachronistic
30-05-07, 04:03 AM
Dude, I AM stressed today.

I want my ex-husband to fall down a well, but he just won't.

And yet, life is good.

just the other day you wanted to touch his knob. what happened?

dreamer101
30-05-07, 05:01 AM
oh ahh .. damn i m never getting married. that way i can't become the ex husband.

i'd suggest try some voodoo magic ... what if it worked

Converse
30-05-07, 05:39 AM
I think I might have Arthritus (sp?) I keep getting really bad pains in my bones (again hard to describe) but mainly in my fingers, and really achy, some times get pins and needles. Argh moan over.

Gigabitch
30-05-07, 05:43 AM
just the other day you wanted to touch his knob. what happened?


Eeeew. I never want to touch his knob again. (Shudder) I divorced his ass a year and a half ago. I want to touch my bf's knob. The new one.

Actually, right now I don't want to touch anyone's knob. The boyfriend and I had a weird night- I had a rotten day, he tried to cheer me up, it only half-worked, he couldn't sleep, neither could I, nobody was happy this morning.

anachronistic
30-05-07, 05:54 AM
Eeeew. I never want to touch his knob again. (Shudder) I divorced his ass a year and a half ago. I want to touch my bf's knob. The new one.

Actually, right now I don't want to touch anyone's knob. The boyfriend and I had a weird night- I had a rotten day, he tried to cheer me up, it only half-worked, he couldn't sleep, neither could I, nobody was happy this morning.

my apologies, i misread "ex-husband" as boyfriend. i could tell something was wrong, i have 6 senses.

DoesntMatter
30-05-07, 08:41 AM
The boyfriend and I had a weird night- I had a rotten day, he tried to cheer me up, it only half-worked, he couldn't sleep, neither could I, nobody was happy this morning.

Sleeping pills, duh!

Ath
03-06-07, 08:55 PM
Darkest hour? I would have to say it's the moment you realize that you are the only good thing in your life. When you realize that the only trust worth placing, is in yourself. It's when you realize that all is at an end, and there's nothing left to do but await the inevitable. It's when you realize your soul is gone... and there's no hope in getting it back.

I've seen my darkest hour. When I find a solution, I'll let you know.

-Ath

DoesntMatter
05-06-07, 09:45 AM
Darkest hour? I would have to say it's the moment you realize that you are the only good thing in your life. When you realize that the only trust worth placing, is in yourself. It's when you realize that all is at an end, and there's nothing left to do but await the inevitable. It's when you realize your soul is gone... and there's no hope in getting it back.

I've seen my darkest hour. When I find a solution, I'll let you know.

-Ath

Geeze! It can't be that bad, you're still alive!

And you should not trust other people. I never trusted other people, only my family members and a few very close friends. It was a mistake trusting the friends. And when I say trusting my family, I mean my immediate family and Calabrian side. Unless you are unhesitatingly willing to give yourself leverage (resort to violence, etc) on the people you would "trust", don't even bother. Then again, it would no longer be trust, would it?

I remember my "darkest hours", they were two years ago in February. Triggered for no reason at all. Nobody died, no unrequited love, nothing traumatic, it just was.

Kiechi
05-06-07, 12:59 PM
Darkest hour? I would have to say it's the moment you realize that you are the only good thing in your life. When you realize that the only trust worth placing, is in yourself. It's when you realize that all is at an end, and there's nothing left to do but await the inevitable. It's when you realize your soul is gone... and there's no hope in getting it back.

I've seen my darkest hour. When I find a solution, I'll let you know.

-Ath

You better get your soul reinstated then Mr.Vampire. The shanshu prophecy clearly states a vampire with a soul will play a pivotal role in the apocalypse.

Ath
05-06-07, 04:12 PM
Dammit, you've got me googling Shanshu Prophecy.. lol

And ignore the tone of my above post.. was a strange day when I wrote it.