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dono
05-04-07, 08:24 AM
So I met up with my therapist yesterday and we came to a new conclusion about me (it was very obvious but I had just never paid any attention to it). I get angry when I see weakness in people. It isn't all-out anger per se, but it's more of this sadistic feeling to beat the shit out of them. You know David12? I made some ****ed up posts because I see him as a pathetic excuse for a soul to consume a human body. That ****ing piece of shit.

I also decided to start IMing my ex-girlfriend recently. It wasn't just any type of IMing. It was pure mockery. I was being very dryly sarcastic and I kept telling her that if she left I was going to burst into tears. But did the fact that she has a hardcore case of depression along with other ****ed up problems bother me? Not a chance.

The concept behind all of this is that when I see pathetic and weak people, I see my mom. I have no respect for my mom. It isn't disrespect, necessarily, but it's just no respect whatsoever. I asked my therapist if I need to work on tolerance for the weak, and he said that that's something I definitely need to do.

The thing is that I started to think about it, and I realized that I don't really want to tolerate the weak. I don't want to have anything to do with the weak, other than me sadistically mocking them and kicking them even harder for being pathetic ****s without testicles.

Does anybody else despise the weak like I do? Is it normal for me to not really want to change? Is change really necessary?


[EDIT]
I just realized that someone here who I find a very weak person is going to reply and I'm just going to say what I normally say. Check for testicular cancer.

Charlie Boy
05-04-07, 09:13 AM
Yar that's all pretty ****ed up. I would stick with the therapy.

anachronistic
05-04-07, 12:42 PM
no, i feel a need to help those who are weak. yes i've had this problem before.

vashti
05-04-07, 01:17 PM
People usually hate the things in others that they suspect they themselves are guilty of.

dono
05-04-07, 01:22 PM
Lilwing, you're right below David12 on my list.

Vash: You said "usually," which does not mean 100% of the time. I don't suspect I am guilty of weakness. In fact, my therapist said that in the 4 years that he's been seeing me, he's never really seen me in a state of emotional weakness. I can take a lot.

It's because, like I said, the weakness reminds me of my mom.

Charlie Boy
05-04-07, 01:31 PM
Seeing a therapist would be considered "weak" in some people's eyes.

dono
05-04-07, 01:33 PM
That's complete bullshit. Everyone should get a therapist.

vashti
05-04-07, 01:44 PM
Maybe it is weakness you fear, then, as in, perhaps you are afraid others may perceive weakness in you, so you compensate by acting like a bastard, even though I knw for sure you are nothing more than a big puppy dog.

Charlie Boy
05-04-07, 01:45 PM
That's complete bullshit. Everyone should get a therapist.

Well... everyone who hates their mom as well as anyone they perceive as weak, probably should anyway.

dono
05-04-07, 01:46 PM
I don't hate my mom, I just said I don't respect her....

I don't want to sound antagonistic (that's a lie), but damn you guys are hard-headed.

Charlie Boy
05-04-07, 01:48 PM
You get a "sadistic feeling that you want to beat the shit out of" weak people, and you've linked that compulsion back to the feelings you have for your mom.... I think that's a bit beyond disrespect.

dono
05-04-07, 01:50 PM
In fact, I specifically said that I didn't disrespect her, but I simply don't respect her. There's a difference. Disrespecting is calling her names whereas not respecting is not wanting to give her the time of day. See? Do you see? Will I have to spoon-feed the obvious down your throat any more?

anachronistic
05-04-07, 01:50 PM
Lilwing, you're right below David12 on my list.
that's scary. dare i ask why?

jesus, i don't even meet people on myspace or anything. i don't even have a damn myspace!

dono
05-04-07, 01:50 PM
Not really, I was just being a dick when I said that.

Charlie Boy
05-04-07, 01:53 PM
In fact, I specifically said that I didn't disrespect her, but I simply don't respect her. There's a difference. Disrespecting is calling her names whereas not respecting is not wanting to give her the time of day. See? Do you see? Will I have to spoon-feed the obvious down your throat any more?

I know what you said. But "not respecting your mom" or however you want to split that hair, doesn't go a tenth of the way to explaining a sadisitc reaction to weakness. Obviously your feelings would have to run much deeper - but I guess that's why you're in therapy.

anachronistic
05-04-07, 01:58 PM
Not really, I was just being a dick when I said that.

haha don't sweat it.

i see a therapist too. i think it really helps. my life has been pretty good with him to talk to. it's nice to have a little consultant for any given situation.

Gigabitch
06-04-07, 12:08 PM
That strong desire to eviscerate the weak is fear-based and directly related to what a controlling asshole your father is. You know this.

I had to work on this too. Compassion is a lofty quality that you will develop as you become stronger. You are a good person. Someday you will find yourself feeling differently, I promise.

Tiay
06-04-07, 08:56 PM
maybe it's because you want to help the weak, lilwing.

Kiechi
06-04-07, 10:57 PM
So I met up with my therapist yesterday and we came to a new conclusion about me (it was very obvious but I had just never paid any attention to it). I get angry when I see weakness in people. It isn't all-out anger per se, but it's more of this sadistic feeling to beat the shit out of them. You know David12? I made some ****ed up posts because I see him as a pathetic excuse for a soul to consume a human body. That ****ing piece of shit.

I know EXACTLY what you mean.

I so need a therapist.

"Does anybody else despise the weak like I do? Is it normal for me to not really want to change? Is change really necessary?"

1. Yes.
2. No.
3. Yes.*

* - Subject to change. I'm not even sure if it is possible to change.

If what you're saying is really true then you must carry a lot of stress. A kind of stress you build up passively which is fueled by pretty much every little thing that annoys you which in turn creates a great deal of hateful anger. When I was your age Z I used argue and flame online just to get rid of some of this anger and for awhile, it worked. Then I found myself in the same position that I was in in the beginning. Like you, I got my own figure of "weakness", my father and because of the way I think and feel about him and the weakness I see in other I've ended up in some pretty ****ed up situations as Vashti would know. She is like my online therapist. I've ended up in police stations and the hospital because of it and til this very day the anger is still there.

Like I said, I need a therapist.

vashti
07-04-07, 04:02 AM
Aww, geez. I worry about both you guys; I really do. Kiechi - I thought health care was free in England. If so, why are you not seeing someone?

Kiechi
07-04-07, 04:44 AM
Aww, geez. I worry about both you guys; I really do. Kiechi - I thought health care was free in England. If so, why are you not seeing someone?

Need to phone the doc for the results of the blood test

vashti
07-04-07, 04:59 AM
Well, whatchu waitin' for, baby?

dono
07-04-07, 05:49 AM
I know EXACTLY what you mean.

I so need a therapist.

"Does anybody else despise the weak like I do? Is it normal for me to not really want to change? Is change really necessary?"

1. Yes.
2. No.
3. Yes.*

* - Subject to change. I'm not even sure if it is possible to change.

If what you're saying is really true then you must carry a lot of stress. A kind of stress you build up passively which is fueled by pretty much every little thing that annoys you which in turn creates a great deal of hateful anger. When I was your age Z I used argue and flame online just to get rid of some of this anger and for awhile, it worked. Then I found myself in the same position that I was in in the beginning. Like you, I got my own figure of "weakness", my father and because of the way I think and feel about him and the weakness I see in other I've ended up in some pretty ****ed up situations as Vashti would know. She is like my online therapist. I've ended up in police stations and the hospital because of it and til this very day the anger is still there.

Like I said, I need a therapist.

Yep. I argue and flame on my website (and here when I see people like David12) because it helps get rid of the anger that I build up in high school. I have a therapist and I can tell you, it definitely works. I strongly suggest it. Remember how ****ed up I was way back when I first joined this place? Yeah, I'd still be that way if it wasn't for my therapist.

We should start a Fight Club. :D

vashti
07-04-07, 06:48 AM
I don't think so. You would enjoy being beat up by the girls a little too much.

dono
07-04-07, 07:07 AM
So true. Strong women are hot.

Trashy women, though...gross. (tattoos, piercings in weird places, Tiay's boots, etc.)

vashti
07-04-07, 07:26 AM
What is wrong with Tiay's boots?

Gribble
07-04-07, 07:56 AM
Don't judge the boots 'til you've seen Tiay wearing them. And preferably nothing else.

dono
07-04-07, 10:58 AM
There's a difference between a woman who tries desperately to be a badass to continue her life-long attention-seeking escapade and a strong woman.

Not that I'm calling Tiay a female who is trying desperately to be a badass to continue her life-long attention-seeking escapade....

Kiechi
08-04-07, 06:34 AM
Well, whatchu waitin' for, baby?

For you to buy the tickets to Hawaii so we can pretend we crashed onto a desolate island.

Dur.

vashti
08-04-07, 09:36 AM
For you to buy the tickets to Hawaii so we can pretend we crashed onto a desolate island.

Dur.

ooohh! me luv u long time.... :D

Kiechi
13-04-07, 07:46 AM
ooohh! me luv u long time.... :D

Yeah, yeah. Thats what all the attractive older women say.