How Do I Fix This? [Archive] - Love Forum - Online Relationship Discussion

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gsusisking
25-04-07, 03:53 AM
So, I posted an earlier question about me liking someone, and I got a couple of answers. My question now is, well, you'd better read the original first...

There's this guy that I really like, and I know that he likes me too...

The thing is that we are both pretty shy. We first saw each other where he works and totally made a connection the minute we looked at eachother! Everytime I go into where he works, we talk a little, he says something like "wow, thats a really cool shirt" and I'll say "thank you" or something else small just to TRY and get us REALLY talking, but we haven't YET to get into a real conversation because we are both just so nervous! This has been going on for about 2 months now, I don't go in there THAT often maybe ever 2 weeks, but it never fails, everytime I'm in there he so obviously nervous but we both still attempt to say SOMETHING to eachother! So, last weekend me and my mom ran into a fast food place to grab something, and low and behold, guess who was in that restaurant at the same exact time?! HIM! My mom said the only way to describe him was that he looked like he was going to "pee in his pants!" We kept shotting glances and little smiles at eachother, but thats it. So, with the suggestion of my mom, I wrote him a letter saying that "...I've never done this before... I don't know if you have a girlfriend but if you don't, here's my myspace and cell phone number so that we can talk out side" [of where he works]. I was to nervous to give it to him myself so I had my mom and little sister go buy something at the store he works at, and then give it to him, from me, as if I were at work and wasn't able to! I wasn't at work, like I said, I was just SO nervous. So, he got the letter a week ago. In your opinion, how long should it take for him to respond? We're both so shy so I don't know WHAT to do! What would you do in order to pursue someone you liked if you were both shy, and he hasn't responded to a letter? Do I give the letter more time or move on to a new strategy? Also, I'm 21, so I would need some advice on how to handle this situation other than how you would handle it in say, high school! Thanks for your opinion! Its greatly appreciated!

My question now is how do I fix the situation with the letter? I've gotten some people saying that me having my mom and sister give him the letter may have freaked him out!:horror: I wanted in no way to do that! I know that I'll probably have to bring myself to go into the store, but I'm a terribly shy girl and the thought of walking into a store, because theres NO WHERE else to talk to him, and the possibility of other people being around, etc, FREAKS ME OUT!!!!!! Some suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Whether it's a different way to handle the situation, a suggestion on how to handle my shyness with him, or an EASIER WAY to handle this!, it would be SO appreciated! Thank you!:)

gsusisking
25-04-07, 09:56 AM
!!!!!!! ALERT, ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!
I just found out... you ready? That he has a girlfriend! My sister recognized him from school, I saw his yearbook picture and looked up his myspace. He's in a relationship!!!! Why would he give me SUCH play and stare at me AS IF I were 'the most beautiful' girl he'd ever seen if he had a girlfriend?! Why would he do that people? Help me out here, please
: (

Gribble
25-04-07, 10:07 AM
I'm too lazy to read your first post so I'm just going be the second.

He looked at you. So? I stare at girls all the time. Literally. If there is a female and she is reasonably attractive you bet your sweet ass I'm checking her out. If I had a girlfriend nothing would change. I say sweet things to women I never intend to sleep with. So? I like women.

vashti
25-04-07, 10:12 AM
He didn't respond to your note asking him to call you. I think that probably means he is unavailable. I would stay away from his place of business if I were you.

gsusisking
25-04-07, 10:26 AM
Yeah I know Gribble, I wouldn't have made SUCH a big deal about it if he didn't try to talk to me all the time, even if its something little, and the way he keeps shotting glances, it's a little more than just 'checking someone out.' At least I think so! : ) Aww... so stressful! : P

AgentWinter
26-04-07, 01:51 PM
I'm no expert on relationships... but maybe his current relationship is unraveling? Also, maybe he seems interested in you, but speaking from a guys perspective, some girls just make me nervous. They're so cute they get me off guard, even though I'm not really interested if I think about it.

Side note, you said "if you don't have a girlfriend call me"... that sounds like you asked him not to call you if he does have a girlfriend?

CAM
30-04-07, 02:15 AM
To fix this...you just let it go. Time will heal it. And, learn from your misguided approach. If you as a woman are going to ask a guy out (in essence), then don't have mother do your letter delivery. You do it. And, be direct.

Ellynn
01-05-07, 12:19 AM
!!!!!!! ALERT, ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!
I just found out... you ready? That he has a girlfriend! My sister recognized him from school, I saw his yearbook picture and looked up his myspace. He's in a relationship!!!! Why would he give me SUCH play and stare at me AS IF I were 'the most beautiful' girl he'd ever seen if he had a girlfriend?! Why would he do that people? Help me out here, please
: (

Yes, this annoys me too. When guys who are obviously taken flirt w/ you and don't mention their gf until later on AFTER you've fallen for them. But at least now you know and the fact that he didn't call you tells you he's obviously in a relationship and that he doesn't plan on breaking up with her anytime soon.
I know, the whole situation sucks.....and I've been there myself quite recently, but thats just life. Imagine how I felt when I overheard a conversation that he was having with someone else about picking out engagement rings for his gf. I was crushed! Like I said, thats life.

I would avoid him now as much as possible.... It will help you move on. I guess you cannot think too far into people who flirt with you anymore. :(