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kingred
26-05-07, 08:58 PM
Hello
I am new to this site
I am having some problems
Some problems regarding my relationships
Well I am a Guy of age 19
And I am in love and in fact I am engaged to a girl who is my love ;)
We both love each other
But the problem is that, few days back in the past she was having some family works to do, for which she went to her home town
Now she came back and nothing is changed in her
But I found some change in myself
She was not here for 5 months or so
And I got addicted to some ill habits like masturbation and watching porn :sad2:
I was really guilty for the sin I committed but I never thought it would lead to such circumstances
I, with great courage told her the truth :tough:
She is a good woman and a decent woman who really thinks these things are big sins
And may be that made her very angry for this shameless act of mine

She was so angry with me that she was not talking to me, not even listening to me :(
She once went to the limits of throwing away her engagement ring
She says that this is just the starting of our relation and I am watching nude gals in other sence i am commiting adultry:mad:
Might be later I might be more worst
Like a true adulterer

She is not only angry but the saddest thing is that -she is also sad-

But that is not the only case
At one side were she is so angry and sad with me
At the other side I am not able to quit that habit and when ever I do that (watch porn), I remember of her and later feel guilty
I some times feel frustrated and even argue with her when she says that porn is a sin because she never allows me to have sex with her and then how am I going to control my self
To that she says that did I engage her for love or lust and again goes back to the same mode
Man!!! it looks very difficult

Plz help me
Am I not right?
Approx. 9 months passed by out engagement and she feels it awkward even when I touch her:P :P :P :P
She says it is a sin or all that :P
When I do something like porn she says I do not love her
And now help me
Watt to do to make her happy and understand me

zro
26-05-07, 10:32 PM
stop being a sap, 99% of males masturbate, the other 1% lie - to be honest its not a big ****ing deal

some studies say its not healthy not to have some sort of "relieve" whether it sex or masturbation, whether its true or not....i dont ****ing know, bit its certainly NOT a sin to have a wank

Now about this habit, do you watch porn alot, and by alot i mean on a daily basis? are you watching some ****ed up shit like with kids or crazy shit like that? if you answer no, then you have no problem, most guys who have access to porn would use it, heck i do, but as long as it is not interferring with your responsibilities and you are not some ****ed up prevert, you should be alright.

How do you sort things out with the missus?? dont really know, maybe get her to watch it with you, probably better getting advice for this question from the females on this board

Only-virgins
27-05-07, 10:21 AM
what is a galfrnd?

Tiay
27-05-07, 05:04 PM
ill habits like masturbation and watching porn

ill habits? ok, wtf? masturbation is completely healthy. both men and women masturbate, it is COMPLETELY normal and has no adverse health effects, in fact it is a great stress reliever. Some people even start masturbating in early childhood, so how can it be a sin? Without choosing to masturbate of their own free will, boy's bodies even ejaculate while they're sleeping, so how can it be a sin?
There's even research (You can see links before reply) to show that men who masturbate have less risk of cancer. Your body produces and stores seminal fluid and it can actually build up in the prostate if you go a long time without ejaculating. It isn't really a problem, like you wont explode or anything, :nerd: but sudies show that men who ejaculate more are less likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer.
apparently, masturbation also stimulates the immune system.. hm, I hadn't heard that before myself.
But best of all, masturbation puts you in control of your own sexual pleasure- you don't need to be dependent on any other person.

as for porn. well, within normal limits it's ok; but don't get dependent on it. Don't watch porn every time you masturbate, or eventually the two will go together so much you wont like to masturbate without porn, and that'd be just sad.

Tiay
27-05-07, 05:09 PM
oh, and masturbation is NOT adultery, and does NOT lead to adultery- quite the opposite, actually..

as for your girlfriend.. hold it! you're 19 and engaged?? yikes, that's way too soon! If there's no way to convince her that masturbation is healthy and normal and NOT a sin, and you stay with her, then you're letting yourself in for a life of feeling guilt and shame for doing and wanting something that should really be considered a gift from god, not a sin.

masturbation should be something a loving couple can share. for instance I love telling my boyfriend about the last time i've masturbated and what I was thinking of and what I was doing, etc. Wouldn't you love to be like that with your girlfriend, and for her to not judge you?

Ephemeral Dream
28-05-07, 08:38 AM
oh, and masturbation is NOT adultery, and does NOT lead to adultery- quite the opposite, actually..

as for your girlfriend.. hold it! you're 19 and engaged?? yikes, that's way too soon! If there's no way to convince her that masturbation is healthy and normal and NOT a sin, and you stay with her, then you're letting yourself in for a life of feeling guilt and shame for doing and wanting something that should really be considered a gift from god, not a sin.

masturbation should be something a loving couple can share. for instance I love telling my boyfriend about the last time i've masturbated and what I was thinking of and what I was doing, etc. Wouldn't you love to be like that with your girlfriend, and for her to not judge you?

By the looks of it, he seems to have a religious background, and masturbation IS in fact a sin. How can you believe in God but think masturbation isn't a sin? That's just taking the best parts out of something and not going on with the whole package.

Back on topic, what you did was a brave thing. You could of taken it to your grave, and nobody would ever know what happened. Try telling your girlfriend that. Tell her that you did it because you were lonely and didn't want to cheat on her, she should appreciate that.

I hope she understands.

Tiay
28-05-07, 05:42 PM
By the looks of it, he seems to have a religious background, and masturbation IS in fact a sin. How can you believe in God but think masturbation isn't a sin? That's just taking the best parts out of something and not going on with the whole package.

good point. But we're already doing that. for instance we've discovered that women are not "defective and misbegotten". My point is there's a LOT of stuff in "the whole package" that is already being ignored. Why not this also, seeing as we now know that masturbation is natural?

LostNotFound
29-05-07, 03:52 AM
are you religious? what religion are you?

ok i can understand where shes going with the pron thing but not the masturbation. you should tell her to try it lol just kidding.

vashti
29-05-07, 07:27 AM
By the looks of it, he seems to have a religious background, and masturbation IS in fact a sin. How can you believe in God but think masturbation isn't a sin? That's just taking the best parts out of something and not going on with the whole package.

Masturbation is NOT universally considered a sin, and the passage you are referring to is NOT about masturbation, but about being willfully disobedient to god.

Like everything else in the bible, it is all a matter of interpretation.

Junket
29-05-07, 07:34 AM
So what if it's a sin?

Like she's never sinned before?

Who is she to judge anyway, like she knows what it's like to have a dick singing between her legs.

Your girlfriend is dumb.

Straight up.

enterprise
29-05-07, 08:28 AM
\like she knows what it's like to have a dick singing between her legs.

Yours Sings:astonish: ....Cool:lol:

Junket
29-05-07, 08:48 AM
Well shit, that's a pretty bad mistake right there.

Ahem, SWINGING*.

Man, I wish mine could sing.

enterprise
29-05-07, 09:50 AM
Well shit, that's a pretty bad mistake right there.

Ahem, SWINGING*.

Man, I wish mine could sing.
Mine can't sing...but it can play the theme from starwars.

Gribble
29-05-07, 09:51 AM
All mine does is spit.

vashti
29-05-07, 10:04 AM
OV's got a singing penis. It hums, too. Just ask him.

Gigabitch
30-05-07, 03:12 AM
Oy. Dude, you have no business getting married. You're not ready. She's not ready. You both need to grow up.

IMO, if the porn you're looking at is just regular porn (consenting adults engaging in sex acts), I think it's not only harmless but far healthier than your relationship.

anachronistic
30-05-07, 04:23 AM
i believe it is an ill habit to think that masturbation is an ill habit.

the porn is very determinant on a lot of things. if you're watching like beastiality or gays or pedophilia kind of stuff, then you need to get rid of your habit.

Converse
30-05-07, 05:17 AM
How very odd.

Ephemeral Dream
30-05-07, 07:53 AM
It's rather obvious masturbation is a sin in his religion, or nothing like this would have happened. Doesn't matter whether you consider it to be right or wrong.

The bible might be a matter of interpretation but religions are not. They have a solid base, and if you want to *really* be a part of it you have to follow all the rules, not just what you think you like.

Anyway, I couldn't care less. I'm agnostic.

vashti
30-05-07, 08:18 AM
It's rather obvious masturbation is a sin in his religion, or nothing like this would have happened. Doesn't matter whether you consider it to be right or wrong.

The bible might be a matter of interpretation but religions are not. They have a solid base, and if you want to *really* be a part of it you have to follow all the rules, not just what you think you like.

Clearly you aren't Catholic.

Anyway, in my experience, a lot of people have no freakin' idea what their denomination has to say on a lot of issues. People on the internet say things like "masturbation IS in fact a sin" and others just believe it. :shrug:

Ephemeral Dream
30-05-07, 08:25 AM
Clearly you aren't Catholic.


I'm agnostic.

Clearly.


Anyway, in my experience, a lot of people have no freakin' idea what their denomination has to say on a lot of issues. People on the internet say things like "masturbation IS in fact a sin" and others just believe it. :shrug:

Well I didn't get that at all, but masturbation is a sin. Like it or not. Are you catholic?

vashti
30-05-07, 08:29 AM
Of course not. If I were, I would have to agree that masturbation is a sin, and well, that is just silly.

Sorry you missed the joke about Catholics, BTW.

Ephemeral Dream
30-05-07, 08:31 AM
I don't think it is a sin, hell I don't think anything is a sin, because I don't believe in any of that stuff. Point is, masturbation is a sin in OP's religion.

What are your religious views then?

Gribble
30-05-07, 08:33 AM
Clearly you aren't Catholic.

That reference flew right over your head, didn't it Ephemeral?

Anyway, the bible at no point mentions masturbation, much less that it is a sin. But that doesn't really matter. Personally, if people can't bring themselves to discard their security blankets I'd be happier seeing them at least try to adjust their religions to the modern world. I don't understand why agnostics and atheists attack Christians for displaying secular behavior. To me that's a good thing.

Ephemeral Dream
30-05-07, 08:37 AM
I'm not attacking anyone, if anything I'm supporting him. I merely stated that masturbation is a sin in his religion. It's not meant to offend or anything of the like, just pointing it out.

Gribble
30-05-07, 08:39 AM
The bible might be a matter of interpretation but religions are not. They have a solid base, and if you want to *really* be a part of it you have to follow all the rules, not just what you think you like.

This is what I'm referring to. If we can't get rid of our gods entirely I'd much rather people take the good bits from their religions and leave out the ludicrous stuff.

enterprise
30-05-07, 11:31 AM
Clearly you aren't Catholic.

Is the reference to when (i can't remember his name right now, but he hated jews and then converted) decided to make it non-mandatory to do any law in the Torah but all you need is belief in Jesus, in order to get other people to actually join his religion. (Christianity or Judaism, a brit-milah would be scary when your older). If I'm wrong then I'm way off.

vashti
30-05-07, 11:34 AM
Is the reference to when (i can't remember his name right now, but he hated jews and then converted) decided to make it non-mandatory to do any law in the Torah but all you need is belief in Jesus, in order to get other people to actually join his religion. (Christianity or Judaism, a brit-milah would be scary when your older). If I'm wrong then I'm way off.

I am not an expert on the Christian bible, but the passage Christians usually quote when they call masturbation a "sin" is from the Hebrew text - the story of Onan in Genesis.

Gribble
30-05-07, 11:54 AM
I am not an expert on the Christian bible, but the passage Christians usually quote when they call masturbation a "sin" is from the Hebrew text - the story of Onan in Genesis.

Yeah... except Onan wasn't masturbating. He was screwing some chick and he decided to pull out early. So his god killed him.

vashti
30-05-07, 11:56 AM
Well, it IS kind of frustrating when you guys quit before we are finished. :D

Converse
30-05-07, 06:43 PM
Masturbation is not a sin you weirdo.

Junket
31-05-07, 02:27 AM
If God was just, he'd expel Catholicism.

Converse
31-05-07, 02:40 AM
If God was just, he'd expel Catholicism.

Well look what Henry The VIII did.

LordOfTehVirgin
01-06-07, 12:31 PM
Touch and don't tell? I don't know how to patch things up with her but.... every guy I know does watch porn at least once a month. We are open about these things. It is natural for people to. I can turn on a computer and get 3000 naked women in front of me in under 3 minutes.... that is like.... wrong... to put that power to us and expect us not to use it.


But hey... im not a religious man sooo.... yeah.

sgp
02-06-07, 10:59 PM
If God was just, he'd expel Catholicism.


uh, i believe its Catholicism Wow now. with everyones favorite Buddy Christ :lol:

Gigabitch
03-06-07, 01:48 AM
uh, i believe its Catholicism Wow now. with everyones favorite Buddy Christ :lol:


I think you should explain this to those who might not know what you're talking about, and post a link. You might help someone!

sgp
03-06-07, 09:48 AM
its from the movie dogma. it wont let me post a link until i have 15 posts, so after this one i will get one up

thefallenheart
11-07-07, 08:24 PM
she is over reacting. yes such a thing is sinful but so is everything to a certain extent.

if she is looking for someone to marry who has never done such a thing then she is going to die alone. simple as that.

if you are wanting to quit the porn habbit try the method of behavioure modification that worked for me. carry a metal spike around. everytime you want something that you know you should not, jab you self hard with the spike. it helped me quit a bad habbit.