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LostNotFound
16-06-07, 02:47 AM
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Tiay
16-06-07, 08:41 AM
I went 12 months without seeing my boyfriend once. But right now, not seeing him for a few days seems life-threatening. My point is you will get used to whatever the current situation is.

daletom
16-06-07, 09:02 AM
I think the hardest part, especially at your age, is when you get together you expect to pick up right where you left off the last time you were together, with a kind of "instant intimacy". You don't see that you yourself have changed, grown, developed, deteriorated, or encountered a bunch of unshared experiences - and it doesn't occur to you to allow for that in your B/F or G/F. At your age these things are probably happening faster than any other time in your life.

You need time to get re-acquainted. That sounds pretty straightforward and easy, but in fact it's not. Nor do I know how to make it happen, but jus knowing about it may help you.

Dale

daletom
16-06-07, 09:13 AM
. . . Nor do I know how to make it happen, . . . On second thought maybe I can make a suggestion. There was this girl - back in the time when dinosaurs roamed the earth - and we wrote letters to each other. On paper. With pens and pencils, if you can imagine such a thing. Probably 2 or 3, maybe 4 times a week. Sometimes we sent lovey greeting cards. Or dumb things, like a check (checque?) for $0.10, and the admonition "Don't spend it all in one place.". This went on for almost 3 months; most of a summer. We hadn't even laid eyes on each other!

On 3 Aug 1973 we finally met. On 17 Aug 1974 we got married (to each other). And she just called to say that dinner is ready.

Tiay
16-06-07, 09:22 AM
though, I have to say, my boyfriend has known me during pretty much the biggest personality changes/developments in my life, and we only saw each other every few months (six visits over 2.5 years) and I never encountered this problem. I do miss him like crazy for two or so weeks after being together, but believe me it really does become totally bearable.
Being around the one you love is pretty much like being on drugs. You're in withdrawal, and it will pass.

daletom
16-06-07, 01:05 PM
. . . my boyfriend has known me during pretty much the biggest personality changes/developments in my life, and we only saw each other every few months (six visits over 2.5 years) and I never encountered this problem . . . Any ideas about what helped keep you two together?

Tiay
16-06-07, 10:27 PM
I guess because those changes brought us closer together rather than growing apart. It could happen the other way round too.

Steve2004
17-06-07, 12:34 AM
my long distance relationship was the longest relationship. I'm pretty sure it was because we didn't see eachother everyday. We saw eachother like..six times a year..and my visits would be about three or four days. Younger couples can get tired of seeing eachother constantly very quickly. So everytime i wasn't visiting him, i hung out with friends and had a good time. so you DO get used to it. and it can be a good thing.

anachronistic
17-06-07, 01:21 PM
you need a hobby. find something to do. i'm a full time professional web-designer. i don't have time to worry about girls or miss people. you just need something to do.

anachronistic
17-06-07, 01:23 PM
my long distance relationship was the longest relationship. I'm pretty sure it was because we didn't see eachother everyday. We saw eachother like..six times a year..and my visits would be about three or four days. Younger couples can get tired of seeing eachother constantly very quickly. So everytime i wasn't visiting him, i hung out with friends and had a good time. so you DO get used to it. and it can be a good thing.

i don't think so. my brother and his girlfriend practically live together and they're only 17. they never get sick of seeing eachother!

and i never got tired of seeing my ex girlfriend... but i think she got tired of seeing me. thank god for work!

Steve2004
17-06-07, 01:50 PM
i don't think so. my brother and his girlfriend practically live together and they're only 17. they never get sick of seeing eachother!

huh. maybe i'm just a douche and really dont like the guys i date.

anachronistic
17-06-07, 02:03 PM
huh. maybe i'm just a douche and really dont like the guys i date.

that doesn't make sense. then again, there was that guy that shoved you out of your car.. i would get sick of that guy too.

bohemiandonut
17-06-07, 02:09 PM
Whoah what?

Haha how does that happen? (did)

Steve2004
17-06-07, 02:11 PM
that doesn't make sense. then again, there was that guy that shoved you out of your car.. i would get sick of that guy too.
...i'm glad we're on the same page.

Whoah what?

Haha how does that happen? (did)

?

bohemiandonut
17-06-07, 02:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilwing View Post
that doesn't make sense. then again, there was that guy that shoved you out of your car.. i would get sick of that guy too.
...i'm glad we're on the same page.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bohemiandonut View Post
Whoah what?

Haha how does that happen? (did)
?

...i'm glad we're on the same page.


?

Haha how does that happen?

bohemiandonut
17-06-07, 02:23 PM
I'm tripping out.

DoesntMatter
17-06-07, 02:42 PM
I'm tripping out.

No time for that, you gotta stay on top of your A-game or those other pre-meds will get the better of you!

LostNotFound
18-06-07, 01:29 AM
hmm. i don't do well not seeing him. he's my best friend.

Tiay
18-06-07, 02:12 AM
you don't do well not seeing him? well maybe you should learn to! don't be dependent.

heck, when I first came to new york, I was completely lost, and I just wanted him to come rescue me and take me to his place. But now I know where stuff is. He had a gig last night and I couldn't get in because i'm not 21 yet, and you know what, I didn't stay at home moping, I went to this lovely garden party in the east village and met some arty people and.. ok, off topic-ness. but anyway, do your own thing. You'll like it.

Steve2004
18-06-07, 03:40 AM
most definitely what tiay said. you're WAY too young to already be dependent on a boy

daletom
18-06-07, 01:04 PM
hmm. i don't do well not seeing him. he's my best friend.That's good!

It may be difficult for you to imagine yourself as separate from him, but you ARE a different and unique person. When you can't be with him, consider doing things where your interests and his do NOT overlap. If you wander into things where your interests are shared you'll simply aggravate the situation with all the thoughts of "HE should be here to see this . . . " or "This reminds me of the time when HE was here with me . . . ".

Dale