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View Full Version : im prego...and don't know if i should keep it?



angelfirexxoo
19-12-07, 07:53 AM
Allrite...I know it's a little bit more confusing than that... I'm now 26 yrs old. I recently got out of a 6 yr relationship, and started dating another guy who is now 36yrs (i like older guys)we hit it off, we enjoyed each others company for about a few months, but we were never together. Now I'm pregnant by the guy and he wants nothing to do with me but to have an abortion. My heart wants to keep the child, and raise is on my own. He said he would be finanically responsible which he has no choice in that matter but that's it. Then again, I could have an abortion and end it all there. My ex knows about the situation and is very supportive, he's obviously not for abortion, but would want to raise the child as his own. I dont think its fair for him because i dont love him like i should, even though he bends over backwards for me. I feel like I would be settling into a mess i already got out of. I know there is other options out there besides abortion cuz i am now about a little over 8 weeks pregnant. I told myself if i didn't have an abortion this week i would never get one. What do u think i should do? :baby:

Tired and confused....

misombra
19-12-07, 07:57 AM
how much money do you make and what's your living situation?

also, why are you reproducing stupid men?

angelfirexxoo
19-12-07, 08:07 AM
Rite now im a Hair Stylist at a salon.. don't make the greatest amount of money..very average. and my living situation rite now is that i live with my parents and they want me out of the house if I decide to keep it..

misombra
19-12-07, 08:17 AM
what does your instinct tell you to do?

vashti
19-12-07, 08:18 AM
I think you are in no way ready for the responsibility of caring for a child, and should consider adoption.

angelfirexxoo
19-12-07, 08:24 AM
Hahaha instincts....well my insticts tell me that abortion is wrong...even though i've experienced one before and that I'm not financially ready, but I willing to sacriface if i have to .....i dont know I'm really confused, if i get one the dirtbag will be out of my life and everything will go back to normal expect the guilt that I would feel from killing my own child....

IndiReloaded
19-12-07, 08:25 AM
I think you are in no way ready for the responsibility of caring for a child, and should consider adoption.

I agree w/this post. Which, I suspect, is what your parents also say.

Having a child is not like having a pet. There is no refund or getting out of your responsibility. Your life will change forever. And a child deserves the BEST circumstances you are able to provide. Getting pregnant was a stupid accident, but an accident all the same. Starting out, consciously, as a single parent in your financial circumstances is beyond stupid, its like DECIDING to become a moron. You are fortunate to have choices in this society. Make use of them.

IndiReloaded
19-12-07, 08:29 AM
Hahaha instincts....well my insticts tell me that abortion is wrong..

You are just responding to social conditioning, sorry. Its not about quantity of life, its about QUALITY. What kind of life will you be able to provide for your child now? And how about in 5 -10 years if you decide then to have one then, having focussed all those years of energy on yourself & improving your situation in life.

Think hard. With your brain, not your gut, despite what everyone says.

When emotions go up, intellect goes down. This is a truth. Listen to those who care about you & are currently more rational than you (trusted friends, relatives, parents).

angelfirexxoo
19-12-07, 08:34 AM
One of my best friends went through the same situation, she kept her son now despite everything she went through and is now married with another son but is financially in a tuff spot. My parents love me and want what is best for me, and they would want me to handle my responsiblities on my own....I know I would be battling an uphill battle so I think Ive made my choice, im only afraid... Thanks for the advice everyone.

IndiReloaded
19-12-07, 08:39 AM
One of my best friends went through the same situation, she kept her son now despite everything she went through and is now married with another son but is financially in a tuff spot. My parents love me and want what is best for me, and they would want me to handle my responsiblities on my own....I know I would be battling an uphill battle so I think Ive made my choice, im only afraid... Thanks for the advice everyone.

Abort, or if that offends your morals, consider adoption as Vash suggests. Or keep it. Of course the choice is yours. Just make sure your choice is made with eyes wide open, so you don't regret your decision later. Good luck Angel.

nuevo
19-12-07, 09:56 AM
I won't criticize, even when I really really want to...

In your position, I would abort. You can't rise a child, and I don't think adoption is a good thing for a child.

From the beginning..you have no insticts...

Charlie Boy II
19-12-07, 10:13 AM
reading this thread makes me realise how ill-prepared I'd be if a girlfriend ever came to me with the same problem. Sex is scary.

Junket
19-12-07, 10:45 AM
reading this thread makes me realise how ill-prepared I'd be if a girlfriend ever came to me with the same problem. Sex is scary.

Exactly.

Would you believe my girlfriend got the preggy-scare when she missed her period and was reporting getting nauseous in the shower?

WE'VE NEVER EVEN HAD SEX.

I flipped. What a cruel world it would be if there wasn't even any penetration of any kind and she somehow got pregnant. Obviously, it was just that, her getting upset over nothing, but damn it, she brought me into and I wanted out. Not because I'm a bad boyfriend. Fúck dude, if I was fúcking her and then I wanted to jet? I can understand that equating to bad boyfriending. But no sex??

It's not for me man, not for me.

Not yet.

anachronistic
19-12-07, 11:34 AM
I think that your questions have been answered. You should read Hills Like White Elephants by Ernest Hemmingway, though.

DoesntMatter
19-12-07, 11:37 AM
I vote for adoption or abortion

Only-virgins
19-12-07, 11:55 AM
Allrite...I know it's a little bit more confusing than that... I'm now 26 yrs old. I recently got out of a 6 yr relationship, and started dating another guy who is now 36yrs (i like older guys)we hit it off, we enjoyed each others company for about a few months, but we were never together. Now I'm pregnant by the guy and he wants nothing to do with me but to have an abortion. My heart wants to keep the child, and raise is on my own. He said he would be finanically responsible which he has no choice in that matter but that's it. Then again, I could have an abortion and end it all there. My ex knows about the situation and is very supportive, he's obviously not for abortion, but would want to raise the child as his own. I dont think its fair for him because i dont love him like i should, even though he bends over backwards for me. I feel like I would be settling into a mess i already got out of. I know there is other options out there besides abortion cuz i am now about a little over 8 weeks pregnant. I told myself if i didn't have an abortion this week i would never get one. What do u think i should do? :baby:

Tired and confused....

Did you just say that your EX is willing to take care of the kid as his own? What the hell is wrong with some of the men these days? What a chump. Some dude bangs his girl and makes her pregnant and than the idiot decides to take care of the kids...I am going to live a happy life I can tell because I'll just find chumps like him to do my work.


Exactly.

Would you believe my girlfriend got the preggy-scare when she missed her period and was reporting getting nauseous in the shower?

WE'VE NEVER EVEN HAD SEX.



Doesn't that imply something? you know? that she is getting it somewhere else? Otherwise it obviously is something else since it is not possible to get pregnant with out the sex...duh.

Mish
19-12-07, 11:57 AM
I think you are in no way ready for the responsibility of caring for a child, and should consider adoption.

+1

Consider the pain of labour and giving up a child to a better home as a much needed learning experience to not be in a situation of having "accidents" again in the future.

vashti
19-12-07, 12:27 PM
I don't think adoption is a good thing for a child.

:surprised

What a freakin' bizzarre thing to say.

Junket
19-12-07, 08:33 PM
Doesn't that imply something? you know? that she is getting it somewhere else? Otherwise it obviously is something else since it is not possible to get pregnant with out the sex...duh.

No, it's not that. She's a huge worrier outside of sex, we literally were trying to think of any situation where any sperm even came close to her vagina. The hysteria lasted about 6 hours. Then we realized how dumb we were being.

I almost quit our non-sex as it was.

Charlie Boy II
19-12-07, 08:40 PM
yeah sounds like maybe you guys should hold off for a while

Illusional
28-12-07, 06:38 AM
well being that you aren't really thinking with your head right now, consider this option... are you ready to face 18 of the hardest years of your life?? if you are ready for that, think of this,... will your child get all that it deserves for the next 18 years of its life??

you might have the heart and devotion towards having this child, but if you can barely support yourself, then how do you expect to support another??

raverboy