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lastwish
18-01-08, 07:33 AM
I find myself lacking the ability to move on from things like when I make a mistake at work, wasn't doing well in my studies, which leads to a huge disapointment in myself or realize that the person who I had so much hope turns out to be a total disapointment. I just keep dwelling on them and getting depressed or angry. Does any of you have this problem? How do you manage to move on from disapointments? What do you tell yourself?

vashti
18-01-08, 08:20 AM
Disappointment in other people usually comes from me expecting too much out of them, so I tend to not expect much out of people before they have earned more than a minimal amount of trust.

As for disappoinment in myself, I try to take an honest appraisal of myself. If I am disappointed because I was irresponsible about preparing for something, I learn to be more prepared. If I am expecting too much of myself (meaning, I expect to do everything perfectly the first time), I try to recognize it, and then set more realistic expectations.

Mish
18-01-08, 09:07 AM
Like Vash, I just try to become better at what I do so I don't get disappointed again.

And to get rid of feeling down I just play my guitar. It channels my feelings into music.

boobaa
28-01-08, 07:36 PM
I find myself lacking the ability to move on from things like when I make a mistake at work, wasn't doing well in my studies, which leads to a huge disapointment in myself or realize that the person who I had so much hope turns out to be a total disapointment. I just keep dwelling on them and getting depressed or angry. Does any of you have this problem? How do you manage to move on from disapointments? What do you tell yourself?

All the time.
Yes, I try to be better and eventually I am, but then something else happens. I think on the stuff and try to find out what I did wrong, eventuually i end up analyzing just everything, every god damn situation. And stuff that happened 10 years ago still creeps in my mind sometimes. ****, I can't live perfectly because I am living the first time!
I live only once and even that one time is depressing.

Giggity
28-01-08, 10:11 PM
Hey lastwish and boobaa. I can understand sort of what you are going through because I do the same things to myself. I overanalyze things to death and think of all the wrong things I (and others) have done as well. Boobaa you say you can't live perfectly, well nobody is perfect and nobody would expect you to be either.

lastwish, we can't change what other people do or how they behave. What we can do is work on being the best people we can be. So if you're disappointed in yourself, then just think that tomorrow is a new day. Make the changes NOW. Whether that means immersing yourself in something you love, or dedicating some time to helping others, you got to fill yourself with positive thoughts and activities.

lilcupid
29-01-08, 01:05 AM
Best solution. Learn from your mistakes. We are all only human and sometimes put too much pressure on ourselves to be "perfect". Life is about learning, and developing as a person. There is not one person on this planet who can claim to live a flawless life.
Some people have a "perfectionist" personality which actually can be quite damaging. Many people who suffer from clinical depression are known to have this type of personality.
Life is too short to worry yourself sick over every mistake you have made.