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View Full Version : Psycho?Socio?What???(LONG)



AngelsBreath
06-03-08, 02:03 PM
hello everyone,first of all i apologize if i havent been coming to this site as often as before,i know that it is unfair and selfish to ask for help when i couldnt contribute but i ill ask for help anyway coz i desperately need it,coz i believe that there are some intelligent people here who can help me.

here's the situation,im having anxiety and fear issues.i never realized this until recently,when i went on a job interview,when i was on my way to the interview a lot of my fears,frustrations and sad experiences came rushing.i know that a job interview is nothing for some but for me,it makes me so nervous,nauseous and scared and only on my last interview i realized it is a problem,on my way driving to the site,thoughts of my breakup with my ex,death of my father,and a lot of other bad experiences of being helpless and powerless overwhelmed me that i just parked the car and cried.i cried myself so hard until my jaw and facial muscles got tired.

i got the job,but im worried to sick that it might happen again when i am placed in a high pressure situation,and i know that i will be exposed to that coz of my job.

am i psycho?depressed?am i just not confident?socially freaked out?

Only-virgins
06-03-08, 02:35 PM
First of all that is not that long. Secondly, you are not psycho or anything. Don't know why you would relate your father's death and losing your ex to a job interview but then again people deal with things individually differently. I think you need to know the reason why this bothers you so much. If it is just fear of social interaction with people in a setting like an interview than it is an extreme one.

vashti
06-03-08, 09:24 PM
I am not sure if this was just a normal anxiety reaction (which would be normal - job interviews stress most people out!) or a full-blown anxiety problem. In either case, you will of course be nervous at work until you get settled in. Try not to allow your thoughts to wander - stay focused on the task at hand.

If you are suffering from a panic disorder (meaning these anxious feelings occur out of seemingly nowhere and are objectively a severe overreaction), you should know that this is relatively easily treated with cognitive-behvaioral therapy.

Tedel
06-03-08, 11:54 PM
As I see it, you're just reading too many self-help books and that's it.

OK, I'll elaborate:

You got scared of the job interview, OK. So far, you are normal. You got even nausea, OK, that was not very normal, but you were anxious in that moment. How come you are an anxious person 24/7 just because you felt nervous about a job interview? That's crap.

Now, listen to me: I am a highly-gifted adult, OK? I am a certified abnormal and I always "fail" psychological examinations whenever I apply for a job because (duh) I am abnormal... and I was never hired.

Sure I once felt miserable because I was abnormal (such a word, huh?) but, wtf?, I am abnormal, so? Something similar goes for you... "wtf? you get nervous in job interviews, so what?"

You are what you are, period. Enjoy it. Don't put words on yourself, because you will likely turn into your own self-assessment.

Tedel
06-03-08, 11:59 PM
i got the job,but im worried to sick that it might happen again when i am placed in a high pressure situation,and i know that i will be exposed to that coz of my job.

It won't happen again, don't worry. You were hired, you are in. They already think you are good enough for the position, you don't need to prove it any further, you just need to carry out your duties there.


am i psycho?depressed?am i just not confident?socially freaked out?

Nothing. You're just a person who got scared before a job interview and now is losing her time questioning herself about something absolutely useless, unimportant, irrelevant and —above all— false.

Homework for you... look at the mirror and smile. :)
You are not perfect, you have the right to fail now and then.

Gigabitch
07-03-08, 04:18 AM
Many people have father-related issues that come up in the workplace. I can see how going to an interview would put you face-to-face with the death of your father.

AB, you seem so incredibly tense to me. You're all wound up like a spring. You need a good, long massage and some analysis. Are you willing to go see a shrink? There's no shame in it- it's an investment in yourself. I think you've got some stuff tangled up and it's making you uncomfortable.

Junket
07-03-08, 07:37 AM
HAHAHAHA!

If that was "long", then Scorp's posts would be bearable.

AngelsBreath
07-03-08, 02:15 PM
thank you evryone for your speedy replies,

@vashti,im not sure if it was a panic attack but i was just crying my eyes out,the main reason i think is that the nervousness from the job interview triggered deep sad emotions from the past to come back and add up to the tension of the interview,that is what i dont like,that is what i wanna control.good point on the task at hand advice,i might just need to focus more,my thoughts can sometimes be very difficult to control.

tedel,that was very profound,thank you anyway

gigabitch,thanks for replying,come to think of it,i have been engaging my daily life so seriously that i dont know how to completely relax,do you have any suggestions?sometimes my mind controls me intead of me controlling my mind and emotions.related stuff comes together,i dont know if i just have a powerful imagination but i relate present sad experiences to the past very quickly and so are happy experiences.im not against visiting a shrink but maybe when i get the health benefits ill try it out.

miSSleepy
07-03-08, 07:00 PM
Last time my dad boarded a plane, his face was puffy, he was sweating and he looked ready to combust. We said goodbye at the gates and I left. 10 mins late i get a phone call: he can't breathe, he's shakng, he's going to faint, he's seriously having a heart-attack, he feels he's going to die. He lietarlly ran back off the plane and we were on our way back until he decided in the last minute he was going back on.

THAT'S a panic attack.

You on the other hand experienced some intense emotions. Perhaps you felt vulnerable and that brought back memories of other times you felt extremely vulnerable. Those remembered emotions fueled your current emtions. And you end up crying at the wheel.

As yourself these questions:
* do you usually feel like you did at the job interview?
* does it intefere with your day-to-day activities?
* do you avoid situations because of anxiety often?
* is there a significant impact on your life overall? (relationships, opportunities, jobs etc)

If Yes, then go get professional help. There are technical definitions to psychological disorders, way too many of them and they're difficult to diagnose, but one thing is common to almost all of them: if whatever is happening is significantly detrimental to your life, then something is wrong.

vashti
07-03-08, 08:35 PM
I agree that it doesn't sound like a panic disorder (which BTW are easy to diagnose), but if you go to a shrink, they will certainly find SOMETHING wrong with you. :D

If you want to manage your stress better, try regular exercise, focused deep breathing, and meditation or yoga.

IndiReloaded
08-03-08, 01:48 AM
I'd say that you cried to release the enormous amount of stress you have been under recently. Perfectly normal (!) based on what you've been describing.

There is nothing wrong with crying, I hope you understand that.

IMO, you controlled yourself until you were in a safe, private place where you could cut loose. That suggests to me that you have a good handle on things. If more ppl could do what you did, the world would be a saner, happier, less stressful place.

I don't think you're at all psycho. And much less so than many examples of ppl freaking out in public (e.g. road rage) that I've observed. Carryon, you're just fine.

GrkScorp
08-03-08, 02:34 AM
Try this little, easy, simple trick from now on..

When you think happy thoughts, and thoughts about your job, and your current life, and the good times with friends and loved ones, and success you've had in your life.. as you think about all those times.. let your eyes drift over and look to the left.. far out to the left, without moving your head.. just let them look to the left.. do this for about 10 minutes..

Now.. while you do that.. try and filter a few, a select and very special few.. of the greatest moments of your life.. and as you think about them.. what they were like, what you were doing, what it smelled like, what it looked like, what was going on around you, how you felt like during those times.. as you re-live those very special moments.. let your eyes drift towards the right.. and let them stay there.. looking towards the right.. thinking about those moments.. do this for about 10 minutes..

Lastly.. put a rubber band on your right wrist.. not too tight.. just loose.. and walk around with it each day.. everytime you have a bad thought, pull it really hard and let it fling onto your wrist, until it hurts.. like a playful little punishment.. you can feel free to laugh as you do it.. and when you fling it towards your wrist, and as those bad thoughts go away.. look around you.. and just notice how you feel..

All that's going on, is that when those moments took place in your life, some of the emotions you were feeling (nervous, anxious, uncertain, doubtful, lost, etc).. were common to the emotions you feel under regular stressful events, such as a job interview.. when they pop up, they act as a trigger.. shooting off those memories to come back.. that's all it is..

Now, I would go into why and how the little trick works, but it's better to save that magic for after you feel better.. So, as you start to do this, and start feeling better.. and while you notice yourself thinking more and more good & happy thoughts.. and less and less of any other thoughts.. when that finally becomes the norm of your everyday life.. you can feel free to re-post, and if you still feel you want to know.. i'll be more than happy to tell you..

Best,

GrkScorp

IndiReloaded
08-03-08, 02:46 AM
Now, I would go into why and how the little trick works, but it's better to save that magic for after you feel better.

For the OP: the rubber band trick is merely a simple form of what is called 'avoidance conditioning'. It doesn't work for most ppl simply b/c adherence is a problem. But its nice in theory. When it is used, its more suitable for people who are having 'wrong thoughts' (like a pedophile thinking about children & that sort of thing). Your thoughts aren't wrong, they are just a response to stress. If you find they are *really* negatively impacting your ability to function, you might want to try the method, but in that case I would rather you see a professional counsellor as other methods may be more effective.

If you want to read more about the 'magic', its all here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinforcement

But I think you're doing just fine. You've gone thru a lot recently & all you need is some time to process what's gone on. Suppressing your natural feelings about your new job & your father's death is the last thing you should do. Let it out, in a controlled setting the way you have been is just fine.

From someone w/a psychology background, fyi. ;)

vashti
08-03-08, 03:18 AM
Lastly.. put a rubber band on your right wrist.. not too tight.. just loose.. and walk around with it each day.. everytime you have a bad thought, pull it really hard and let it fling onto your wrist, until it hurts.. like a playful little punishment.. you can feel free to laugh as you do it.. and when you fling it towards your wrist, and as those bad thoughts go away.. look around you.. and just notice how you feel..



Haha! They usually use this technique for OCD. They stopped using it in the psych ward where I work because the patients were snapping themselves so often, they were breaking open the skin, and they couldn't stop themselves. :D

IndiReloaded
08-03-08, 03:24 AM
Haha! They usually use this technique for OCD. They stopped using it in the psych ward where I work because the patients were snapping themselves so often, they were breaking open the skin, and they couldn't stop themselves. :D

Vash (and anyone else interested), have you read a book called "Children of the Mind"? Its part of a sci-fi series by Orson Scott Card. Excellent book. There's an entire planet of OCD ppl who believe they are being spoken to by gods & do all sorts of interesting behaviour. Both you & your husband would enjoy, I think.

Its in the same series as "Ender's Game" if you've heard of that book. Really, really good books if you like that sort of thing. Your library will carry them, I'm certain.

Here's a link to the series to find out more, but I would highly recommend them:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ender%27s_Game_series

vashti
08-03-08, 03:26 AM
Maybe I'll have time for some summer reading. Thanks, indi!

AngelsBreath
11-03-08, 05:05 PM
wow!!!!!alright,,thanks for the replies,i will definitely try dat scorp,thank you everyone,thanks for the help.im happy.

GrkScorp
12-03-08, 04:29 AM
Well, you can win more with honey than you can ever dream to with vinegar

But don't forget to re-post and tell us how much better you're feeling when you're happy with that change in yourself, and feel that's somewhere you're comfortable being..

Best,

GrkScorp

Tedel
12-03-08, 05:22 AM
im happy.

That's very good news for this forum. :) Congratulations. :)

Mish
12-03-08, 05:59 AM
here's the situation,im having anxiety and fear issues.i never realized this until recently,when i went on a job interview,when i was on my way to the interview a lot of my fears,frustrations and sad experiences came rushing.i know that a job interview is nothing for some but for me,it makes me so nervous,nauseous and scared and only on my last interview i realized it is a problem,on my way driving to the site,thoughts of my breakup with my ex,death of my father,and a lot of other bad experiences of being helpless and powerless overwhelmed me that i just parked the car and cried.i cried myself so hard until my jaw and facial muscles got tired.

i got the job,but im worried to sick that it might happen again when i am placed in a high pressure situation,and i know that i will be exposed to that coz of my job.

am i psycho?depressed?am i just not confident?socially freaked out?

Very interesting thing I've read once. About different emotional states. For example when you feel happy, when you laugh, when you're excited about something and generally have a good time it's very hard for you to feel sad. Your state of mind finds it hard to revert to that state. You can try it for yourself to see how hard it is next time you feel happy. Likewise when you feel sad, depressed, down it's very hard to feel happy. Even if you try to think happy thoughts your mind reverts to sentimentalism or depressing thoughts to mirror your physical state.

So, what could've happened is that the interview you were going to attend was just a trigger, a trigger that put you into a high anxiety state and because it's hard to get out of that state and easier to spiral down into the anxiety thought patterns your thoughts took you there and eventually you started thinking all posible thoughts that could mirror your feelings.

But look on the bright side! Everything to do with your body ussually has a reason. Maybe there was a need for you to release all of these emotions in order to start from a clean slate? Didn't it feel wonderful to flush down all of those negative feelings? Wasn't it less stressful in the end to conduct the actual interview after it happened? :)