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MadKat
07-03-08, 09:20 PM
I have this issue,
Over Sensitive, Over Imaginative, Over Think, Over Worried, Over Insecure (all apply to only relationship).
When come to relationship matter, I have this issue.
Help Me!! :upset:

misombra
07-03-08, 09:22 PM
how old are you?

lastwish
07-03-08, 09:36 PM
I have this issue,
Over Sensitive, Over Imaginative, Over Think, Over Worried, Over Insecure (all apply to only relationship).
When come to relationship matter, I have this issue.
Help Me!! :upset:

If its really as serious as you described....perhaps the therapist?

MadKat
07-03-08, 09:45 PM
Therapist? I didn't have that cross my mind yet but i'll keep it as reference. :)

misombra, er...i'm 30 this yr. BUT i dunno y i have this issue whenever I'm in love...

In my other part of life, friends, family, career, I don have this kind of thing. In fact...a total opposite of me.

I need to be fix. Some screws and nuts are lose...any mechanics here that can repair my brain? or heart? or liver? or...where this feeling comes from...

lastwish
07-03-08, 10:01 PM
perhaps...its really deep rooted insecurity. Think about your childhood or upbringing. What are your parents like? Are there anything that might have caused it?

To go about in a relationship with bad insecurity issues can absolutely ruin a relationship. The guy I like right now is really insecure too but he goes about the relationship differently from you. But its still insecurity! And it pisses me off.

misombra
07-03-08, 10:16 PM
misombra, er...i'm 30 this yr. BUT i dunno y i have this issue whenever I'm in love...


how many girlfriends have you had? have you had any long term relationships?

MadKat
07-03-08, 10:34 PM
how many girlfriends have you had? have you had any long term relationships?

Had a 7 years relationship, "mutual termination" at Sep 06.
Jan 07, met a girl which I really like, and she also likes me. We kissed, hugs, cuddle, hold hands, did everything a normal couple would do except sex. Oh, she had a bf, and it really breaks my heart when i decided to call it quit.
Sep 07, met a girl, much younger, didn't even thought of having a relationship with her BUT found out she's the kind i'm looking for.
Now still attached, but the fire has runs out after 3 months. I don't see sparks from her BUT i still have the fire...and is dying too!

My parents are OK. They give me much freedom to taste the world on my own, BUT when i was a teenager back then. Ahem, i believe I'd hurt more girls than my 2 hands add up. :( I regreted doing it.

So now, ever since my ex dynasty, I figured out I hae this issue. Insecurities, I keep wanting securities, and when the spark is no longer to be seen...I'm lost. I believe this is a major problem, if i don't find the way out myself, i don't think my future whatever relationship would work either.

Oh, i find myself very jealous too. Even when my SO receive text or phone call, my mood would change.

HALPPPP....find me some glue

Illusional
08-03-08, 11:12 AM
help us help you.

write more information or you'll get an answer like that one that i'm giving you.

raverboy

MadKat
08-03-08, 12:16 PM
Ok...i guess i dint state it clearly enough.
This problem of mine only happen whenever SHE's not with me, provided i got nothing to do or while driving.

THEN, my mind would wander off imagining things that may or may not happen. What our future will be. I felt like i need my SO to contantly convince me that our relationship is ok.

i.e, If dont hear her for few hours (when i got nothing to do) I would become very restless and stressed, and feel like calling her to ask find out what she doing, and usually got nothing to talk about (sometimes the situation would get even worst if the her voice sounds like not welcoming) My subconcious mind telling me that i miss her very much, but i know better is that I wanna know if its ok.
This kind of situation might make my better half feel like no space of her own, I'm too clingy. As a man, i dont think this is good for being clingy, as i dont like my SO to become 1 either...

i.e, If we had a argument, or when she ask me to give her time of her own. I would go berserk...not thrashing things but my mind go berserk. The time goes by so slowwwww, every second counts. My mind then will over think, over imagine, like she having affair outside, or her affection towards me is gone, or i'm a goner, or this relationship is broken...and so on...

I know this is a mental problem, but why I only feel insecure in a relationship. Sometimes i feel like banging my head to the wall, and faint. End of story.

Any idea to fix me...very appreciate

kalupe
08-03-08, 02:33 PM
uhh, my boyfriend is actually the same. to me it appears more of a trust issue. but idk either what really causes him to act that way. he said though that he's had a gf that cheated on him, and that's prolly why he has trust issues, and would be paranoid just like how you said you were being.

but in your case, are you just..innately insecure? or do you think it's a trust issue too? has your partner done anything or acted in some way enough for you to not feel the security you need?

MadKat
08-03-08, 11:44 PM
hmm...let me see.
My issue, i still have the trust (that's the basic, trust gone, relationship goner). I feel insecure basically is myself. I over imagine things...like when she goes silent or i'm not by her side, i will imagine many many things. Mostly is not good, and i'll be restless and sleepless.

I know the problem is myself, i need to fix myself. anybody have any idea what's going on...

kalupe
08-03-08, 11:54 PM
am i seeing obsession? you want to be with her 24/7 otherwise you're thinking about negative things, hence you wanting more to be by her side.

you have already identified the problem, and that's good because you know something's wrong with the way you think. how bout if you catch yourself being paranoid again, counter your negative thoughts with positive ones. it's like psychologizing your own mind. if that doesnt help, consider getting a shrink. that'll help.

Illusional
09-03-08, 03:04 AM
do you want to drive your gf away or do you want to drive yourself crazy? you're being silly because you can't or don't want to control yourself or something so minor.

why do you worry about what will or won't happen?? you're playing all these different scenarios, which leads to to worry. instead, be happy for what you have and cherish it, rather than imagine how you might loose it.

raverboy

MadKat
09-03-08, 03:36 AM
Yeah...I'm talking to my brain to control myself. Cherish of what I have and enjoy every moment.

It just sometimes, especially when i'm driving or alone...i can keep this imagination going and going and going...

Illusional, is right. Is either drive my gf away or myself crazy. Obsession is bad, and myself don't want to be obsess by my gf neither.

Have it occured to anyone, a simple sms or phone call from your SO will instantly change your mood.

Oh, i don't have this issue with my ex (not this major), but this 1 i feel like so needy. Is it maybe i thought i found the right 1, and so afraid to lose it...

Illusional
09-03-08, 08:43 AM
instead of always thinking of your gf, why not get a hobby. do something to take your mind off of her, so that when you spend time with her, it'll be that much better.

and you're lucky, usually my gf's keep naggin me to do this and do that. i can't get them to shut up.

raverboy

Mish
09-03-08, 09:10 AM
hmm...let me see.
My issue, i still have the trust (that's the basic, trust gone, relationship goner). I feel insecure basically is myself. I over imagine things...like when she goes silent or i'm not by her side, i will imagine many many things. Mostly is not good, and i'll be restless and sleepless.

I know the problem is myself, i need to fix myself. anybody have any idea what's going on...

Mmmm, no. Sorry I don't think you have trust. I think this is the main issue right there. If you had trust then you wouldn't over imagine, you wouldn't build scenarios in your head because your trust for the person would terminate all of them from the moment of their inception. On some level you don't trust her. Why is that? Is she not trust worthy? Have you had this problem in any other relationships?

Trust means, "I can put my gf in the most sleaziest disgusting club on the planet and know for 100% nothing will happen". Because I know there is something rooted deep inside of this person that will never go for betrayal. I won't imagine any scenarios, they won't be part of my perception. That's a very powerful certainty. This is trust.

Junket
09-03-08, 02:36 PM
I love the people that come in with "no I still trust them...I'm just insecure" or "I trust that she won't suck any dick...I just don't trust that this guy's dick will innocently slip in her mouth."

MadKat
09-03-08, 03:13 PM
Mmmm, no. Sorry I don't think you have trust. I think this is the main issue right there. If you had trust then you wouldn't over imagine, you wouldn't build scenarios in your head because your trust for the person would terminate all of them from the moment of their inception. On some level you don't trust her. Why is that? Is she not trust worthy? Have you had this problem in any other relationships?

Trust means, "I can put my gf in the most sleaziest disgusting club on the planet and know for 100% nothing will happen". Because I know there is something rooted deep inside of this person that will never go for betrayal. I won't imagine any scenarios, they won't be part of my perception. That's a very powerful certainty. This is trust.

Perhaps my trust is only at certain level...:(
My past relationship also did occurred to me before, about this insecure issue, but as i said not this major.

There's 1 thing that always being played in my mind, from my past relationship till current, and maybe future if i don't get it fix.
I simply don't trust her males friend, especially those that shown interest in her. Though she did convince me that she rejected him, draw the line, but they still keep in touch and remain as friends. I guess this bothers me a lot, and yeah, this issue happened in my every relationship. This is the root, i believe...

Oh, I do have hobby, plenty indeed. :P